GCSE English Language Speaking exam

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Dd is in Year 10. She is on the autistic spectrum and has had some problems for much of this year with anxiety and erratic school attendance.

They are doing the speaking exam over the next few weeks. Dd has got herself into a state about this, she has written her speech but has said she cannot do the speech. She was in a panic last night and did not go to school today as a result.

Any suggestions I make to her have been shot down. Apparently her teacher said she can do it with fewer people, school have also said it can just be her and the teacher if necessary. I have encouraged her to email her teacher herself to explain how she's feeling but she won't do this. She just puts her head in the sand, but we need to do something fast as she cannot just miss days when she has English until the end of term!

So I'm wondering if it's compulsory and how bad would it be if she didn't do it at all? I know it's graded separately from the written papers.

She'll just get ungraded for that part. It means nothing. It won't count against her other marks.

Thanks, prob not worth pushing it then?

I would be working to get her to do it on the basis that it's part of the course, and I've never had a student flat out refuse ... but then I know my students really well and generally can convince them. But if the choice is don't do it or miss days, then I'd rather she was in.

If you’re in England it doesn’t ‘count’, in NI and possibly Wales it does. If it doesn’t count then given her anxiety I can understand not forcing her to do it.

However, it would be worth continuing to work with her/encourage her to develop the skill of speaking publicly. Lots of Uni courses require it, and I’ve heard of several job and apprenticeship interviews (M&S among others) in the last week, which have required some form of mini presentation as part of the interview.

Yes we're in England.

@MrsHamlet do you know if she doesn't do it now, will she get another opportunity in Year 11? I'm not sure why they are doing it in Year 10, just get it out the way I suppose?

That's a good point @percypig and it is a useful skill to develop. But right now, she needs her GCSEs next year and she needs to be in school. Maybe if the pressure is off, she might feel more confident about public speaking in the future.

DS also Y10 with major anxiety issues. He was threatening not to go in too. We spoke to his English teacher (who is lovely, which helps) and she said he could do it with just her, but also said there was another boy with similar issues and they could do it together with just her and the other boy if preferred. And actually for DS that was slightly better than just him and teacher as it takes the pressure off a little and he didn't feel so singled out. So they arranged to stay behind after a lesson and do it in their breaktime.

He did it, basically just reading off what he had written down rather than attempting to do it without notes, and got a pass (no chance of better mark if you're pretty much reading it out) but for me that's a big win as, even in a tiny way, it's shown him that he can do it. Experience has taught us that letting him not do things at all because of his anxiety is the easy option at the time but tends to make it worse in the long run because next time he's even less likely to do it and it spirals into him restricting himself even more. So if you can get her in to do it in whatever way makes her least anxious then do. I'd suggest that's probably arranging for her to do it with just the teacher or eg the teacher and a friend and arranging an exact time/date in the near future so she can get it over with rather than building it up to be even worse in her mind.

But equally if that really won't work then it won't affect her main GCSE mark.

That's a brilliant achievement for him @AliMonkey well done to him.

The problem is, dd hates me talking to the school about her (which is why she often doesn't tell me things) but SHE won't take responsibility for speaking out how she feels either. I feel really stuck. I don't want to break her trust but either she or me/dh needs to say something!

And I agree with you @AliMonkey it's important that parents encourage them to face their anxiety and problems rather than run away from them. But she just won't listen, all she says is 'I can't' (or 'I physically can't').

I’d speak to her teacher and/or the SENCO. My son was also highly anxious about this and was not attending school at all at the time he did it. He had a tutor at home, provided by the LEA, and did it 1-1. She helped him plan it (in accordance with what’s allowed) and kept it really informal.

My son (also with ASD) did it with a small group with others who were having difficulties. It doesn’t count for the grade, but worth doing if she can.

i would be more concerned about her preventing you contacting school even when she is unable to sort out problems herself. There are going to be other stressful situation in Y11 and you need to work out strategies with your daughter to try and prevent her missing more school when problems arise.

I recognise this is easier said than done - I am in the opposite situation where my son would much prefer me emailing rather than him talking to a teacher even for the simplest of issues. We have found it beneficial to work out broad guidelines when everything is fine, to apply when problems do arise. Best of luck.

DS hates us talking to school about him too, but sometimes we have to override that as he will never speak up himself. He has selective mutism so frequently it is true that he physically can't actually speak (hence when he too says "I can't", we never say "yes you can", simply "just try"), and of course being anxious about not being able to do it makes it even less likely that he will able to. But I too worry that he won't tell us things in future. Perhaps dress it up as "we have to tell the school why you weren't in" as that is true?

But don't beat yourself up if she won't do it. I'm sure like us you've had your fair share of others judging you or your DD over the years, so don't do it to yourself. Do what you can to help, but at this age ultimately we pretty much can't make them do anything, we can just encourage/persuade/support and hope for the best.

There are no points toward the GCSE qualification associated with the S&L element.
Most teachers will assess during class discussion and as long as a student can talk about something they're intrested in they should pass.

@AliMonkey do you tell him before speaking to the school or ask his permission?

The root of the problem is that dd still won’t accept her autism, doesn’t want to be different, doesn’t want any help. But conversely wants these issues to magically disappear.

With the Covid adaptations, if she does it this year (before summer), she can do it just in front of the teacher and it does not have to be recorded. I would be asking the SEN dept in the school to get involved in supporting her

@bendmeoverbackwards depends. Ideally, if now is when it's planned for, I'd prefer to do it now on the basis that what I have left to do is worth more

@bendmeoverbackwards We generally talk to him about it first but it’s rare for him to want us to (like your DD he doesn’t want to be seen as different) but sometimes we override that. I’d say generally we tell him we’re going to do it though it’s probably fair to say that we might use the opportunity to have a wider discussion with school which we haven’t explicitly told him about.

He’s still a child and sometimes parents know best. For example, he didn’t want us to tell school about his selective mutism or about him being bullied or to ask for extra time in exams but clearly was in his best interests that we talk to school about those. I think he probably protests less than he used to as he understands better that we have his best interests at heart. I can’t say for certain that it hasn’t meant him not telling us things but certainly he still tells us about some issues that come up.

@MrsHamlet DD is resitting, and when I asked her teacher about the S&L bit (so did we need to get DD to get something prepared) she said she had enough evidence from debates in class.
Would that be a 'special' for this year (so if DD has to re-re-sit she will need a speech again) or is that standard do you know?

Honestly? It sounds like a fudge to get a tick in a box to get a pass. If she's happy with a pass, I'd leave it there!

That's what I thought .
She got a merit for her previous one which they did right at the end of y9, but right now I'm just hoping to see a 4 on the results sheet in August, it is going to be a close run thing I think.
Anyway she broke up from college yesterday (hurray) so it is what it is anyway.

I did this 'exam' recently - I enrolled in adult learning to experience what doing a GCSE was like as I grew up in a different country. I did mine by zoom with the teacher one to one. She doesn't even technically have to look in the camera its really about confirming her english speaking abilities.

Surprise update - dd has done her exam!

Dh and I were away overnight recently, dd stayed at home with her older sister. Last night we were travelling home and she sent me a casual text to say she had done her English speech. I am obviously delighted but utterly confused why she has gone from saying she 'physically can't do it' to doing it seemingly quite easily. She's certainly put me through the mill with worry, then suddenly it's resolved!

Super

Great to hear, well done to your DS! If she is able to tell you what helped her to be able to do it then let us know in case it helps anyone else. But understand if you choose to downplay it so won’t ask explicitly as otherwise you risk her thinking in future that she couldn’t do anything similar.