Son misbehaving at school

[bubble2000]

Receiving alot of detentions etc its heartbreaking

How do we discipline at home to ensure he stops before he's thrown out? He's 14

Yes exactly that's what I have told him - if teachers spends all time on behaviour there is less possibility for learning

We have removed phone and xbox / laptop for the week he is on the report card and will reassess after that

So good to hear everyone's feedback and experience

I am in the exact same boat with my year 8 son.

he gets easily distracted / disruptive etc gets many detentions bad notes home, I get called weekly. I've spoke to year head. I've taken screens away, nothing has really changed!!

he hates school so it's all very stressful

he has lots of friends and gets on with them all.

im trying not to get so stressed as Its reduced me to tears at times.

I also could have written this post about my year 8 child. It’s heartbreaking and our first experience of such behaviours. Our eldest showed none of this.

Literally can echo all you say and have a meeting with school. We are getting ours assessed for Dyslexia and I suspect ADHD too.

it’s sad because I’m forever thinking what the hell is coming next. 😕

A secondary school teacher I know said her year 8's are the most disruptive- im wonderong if lockdown has anything to do with it

Do you get a record of detentions? We can check online and see the reason for detentions, etc. How I'd discipline would depend on what he was doing.

If these are ongoing issues, I'd ask HOY to send you a note home or an email whenever he has a detention. And arrange a check-in meeting with HOY in a month's time to see if your DC's behaviour is improving or not. You need to show school that you care and are involved. The more information you have, the better you can support your DC.

Are there any high sugar snacks and fizzy drinks that could be contributing? Would increased physical exercise help? Just trying to think outside the box.

im regularly in touch with my sons teachers / tutors / HOY

nothjng has changed or improved despite all of our very best efforts.

Not the point of the thread, I know, but I hate the casual sexism implied here.... not all engineers are men, particularly at a multinational firm.

Often at that age it is just emotional immaturity in a developing teen. Year 7s and 8s are often the worse but they grow out of it. There is a lot of social and peer pressure, they are trying to figure out who they are and they are impulsive and have poor judgment. They want to impress and fit in but don’t know how. Add to that the end of school is still years away and many don’t really care about the possible consequences as to them school is just school.

Consequences and sanctions just serve to treat the symptoms. They are necessarily and useful but the core problem will not correct until the root of it is identified.

There could be many different reasons for this behaviour but, from what you've said, it seems to me that your son prioritises being the class clown. If that's true then he is valuing how others view him and his 'position' with his peers above his education and development. The only way to address that is to root out why: is it insecurity? Is it identity-based and that without being class clown he doesn't know how he fits? Is it overconfidence in his own abilities? Is it that he doesn't recognise what the impact of underperforming will be? Etc.

@EweCee - I think it’s more likely that the boy in question was sexist in that he would more likely listen to advice/sanction etc when it’s coming from a man (especially a man at work) than a woman or his parents. It does piss me off but I think there are some men that think like this.