Yr12 Son, ADHD, no revision, other issues? Help!

[Yr12ADHD]

Hi there, I'm at a loss to know how best to help my son in Year 12. He's in exam week this week and has done no revision at all at home in preparation though tells me he's done plenty of revision in free periods at school. I don't know the truth.
The reason for my post is that despite doing no work, he's told me tonight that he really wants to do well. That he has a complete block about revision because nothing goes in so it feels completely pointless. He's also reported that today in the exam he could read the question 5 times and still not know what it was asking. It was like he could read it in order but the meaning was jumbled. He also said he couldn't write the word 'because', that he kept missing out the 'c' and when he tried to write it again he'd start with the 'c' he'd just missed out! I include that detail because he's never given me anything that precise to work with and I wondered if anyone recognises what he means?
So, I have a child who wants to succeed, who was quite a lot above average in KS2 SATs, passed his 11+ etc but who probably only has his basic passes at GCSE because of the grades being teacher assessed last year and who is now heading into Year 13 with no real study skills and a massive mental block.
I think he needs some specialist help with revision techniques and ways of working from someone who truly gets ADHD. Anyone know where I'd find such a person? I also wonder if he needs other assessments given the specifics he's reported today.
There's a long back story here which I won't go into but if anyone has any ideas how I can help my boy who really cares but who doesn't have the tools to overcome his difficulties, I'd be really grateful.

Thanks in advance to anyone who can help

[Nappyvalley15]

Sounds like a difficult situation, OP.

Does he take medication for his ADHD?

Also his school might be able to refer him to an educational psychologist for help/learning strategies.

Also try additide magazine for advice on adhd. Very American but still some useful tips.

[smoothceiling]

Get him to go and speak to his senco and describe this to him/her. Tell him to ask to be screened for dyslexia. This often goes hand in hand with ADHD.
The screener will not diagnose but it will pick up tendencies and then he can go to an EP if necessary but this is unlikely to be funded.
Also get him to think about what time he takes his meds .
He needs to reassess the way he is revising. If the screener picks up tendencies then set him up with a dyslexia trained tutor if you can .

[Yr12ADHD]

Thank you @Nappyvalley15 it is really tricky. If he was telling me he couldn't give a toss then I would let it lie and not put pressure on him. School have been very open to dialogue but short on actual help. It's as though they don't quite know how to help him either but an Ed Psych might be an idea.

Lots of people just thing he's totally lazy and I can see why. And maybe I'm kidding myself but my gut tells me he needs to find a way to be able to at least be comfortable to attempt some revision rather than just assuming it's pointless. I feel like I need the advice of someone with ADHD who's overcome the problems or similar and who he would listen to. But finding someone who is accessible and fits that bill is tricky!

[Yr12ADHD]

I didn't answer the meds question. He takes it reluctantly and sporadically. He took one today.

@smoothceiling this might just show my ignorance about dyslexia but he was a brilliant reader and decoder - free reader really young. But, it was spotted in Year 3 that his comprehension was very weak given how advanced his reading age was. And now that I say that, that kind of matches what he's told me today. He could read it all fluently but the meaning was scrambled

[smoothceiling]

That's interesting that his reading was so much better than his comprehension. But it does sound like he has what they call a spiky profile which can often indicate an issue. I would definitely get him to talk to the senco. It sounds like he could have issues with his working memory if his reading is good but he is getting meanings jumbled. He may end up qualifying for extra time for the exams.

What subjects is he doing at a level?

[IdisagreeMrHochhauser]

Could be an executive functioning issue. I'm overloaded at the moment and so finding it really hard to process new information. Stress definitely exacerbates that.

I have a condition called visual stress. It's a neurological issue similar to dyslexia which makes reading text difficult especially black on white. But again, when I'm stressed and overwhelmed, just reading at all is almost impossible.

[Yr12ADHD]

@IdisagreeMrHochhauser that's really interesting, I've never heard of visual stress before. He has a diagnosis of ADHD which he got about 18 months ago and the only other thing I recall from his assessment is that he really struggled in the writing part of it. His writing was really slow but I think that was about his ability to get ideas down, not a physical thing.

@smoothceiling he's doing a double BTEC and one A Level. Doing great in the BTEC with his coursework but will have exams for that next year too which is a worry.

[Didiplanthis]

My dd has a visual processing disorder... can read the words but has no idea what they say... 100x worse when under pressure. She also finds her brain 'stops' when writing by hand but is ok on a WP.. its a combination of executive function and processing issues. A good Ed psych should be able to untangle it. Also remember, it's not a disaster if exams don't go to plan at the 'right' time... they can be re sat. Children with ADHD are on average 5 years behind with their emotional/social and organisational ability so he may be in a far better place to manage exams at 22/23...don't panic...be really pleased he has managed to tell you what is going on. Praise and reassure him..the biggest disability I have from having ADHD is the crippling lack of self belief that I am ever good enough having spent my childhood being told I wasn't as undiagnosed.

[Fruitloopcowabunga]

We found that 1:1 tuition/coaching on exam technique was a huge help (this was for GCSE English but could apply to other subjects)> DS needed help decoding questions and understanding what was being asked, and then techniques to plan the answer before even attempting to write anything. There were a lot of different coloured highlighters in use! Might be worth asking school if they can recommend a tutor in this subject?

[Yr12ADHD]

Grrrrr was writing a lengthy reply and page crashed!
@Didiplanthis thank you so much for your comment. I know that his self-esteem is an issue and I know that I am probably not helping half the time because I get frustrated at him shutting down and not bothering to try to revise. His GCSEs were a disaster for his mental health and so I have really tried to learn lessons from that. I was aware there was a maturity lag but didn't realise it was 5 years so that's interesting too.

@Fruitloopcowabunga he has had tutors before but I know he needs someone who understands ADHD. Absolutely no point if they don't. He needs someone that can demonstrate to him that they totally get the problem and that they know how to overcome it. Revision timetables don't work for him. Just totally turn him off. We've had loads of input from school. In one ear and out the other!

I'll keep looking, has to be someone out there!

[Yr12ADHD]

I've just found this organisation. Will follow up. Posting here in case it helps anyone else who reads the thread Link

[houselikeashed]

OP I can commiserate with you. I hhave a y12 DD. She has ASD, with ADHD tendencies. Also doing exams this week. She said she cried in her first exam (her favourite and best subject). She said she couldn't focus on the questions, and the rest breaks were not how she was expecting them. So she put her head down and cried.
She also has done no revision.
It's tough.

[Nappyvalley15]

Hi OP

Is there a reason why he only takes his medication sporadically? If you can find medication that works then that could really help him focus. It can take a few goes though.

The right medication and the help of an Educational Psychologist to develop learning and revision strategies might be a way forward.

If he is already in the system for medication it might be worth trying to get that right. I know they don't necessarily work for everyone though.

In the state system EP help is free and through the school but there may be a long wait time.

[Yr12ADHD]

Hi @houselikeashed commiserations to you too. Sending solidarity your way. Just so tough for them when they want to do well and it's very hard to explain to other family members that they're not just 'bone idle', that there's a real block there caused by a neurodivergence.

@Nappyvalley15 it's very difficult with medication. He's on his second sort. He won't take it at weekends ever, only in the week and only on days when he feels like it. We've talked about it a lot. The problem is that I've never seen it make a difference because by the time he's done a day at school, come home and chilled and eaten, it's out of his system. He thinks it makes a marginal difference. I think he'd be more motivated to try it if he really thought it was helping him. We have a meds review soon so I can bring this up again.

I won't wait for a funded Ed Psych. I've been round the system so many times with my younger child (completely different and unconnected diagnosis) that I know it's just not worth it.

Thanks everyone for your continued input. Really helps to have an outlet!

[ittakes2]

I have ADHD and so does my daughter.
Part of having ADHD means you have low dopamine in your brain which is the chemical for motivation - that's what the ADHD drugs do they help with the motivation side of things. With ADHD you also have issues with executive function so planning.
I second getting an ADHD coach to help.
Can I also just explain to you what its like to have ADHD. In class a NT child will take photos of what the teacher is saying and enter them in order into a photo album in their brain so its easy to flick back to information. But a kid with ADHD has numerous photo albums open at the same time - for example one for the teacher talking, one for what they are thinking might happen later that day, another for anxieties, another for whatever. In short they are taking photos for all these albums at the same time flicking back and forth...eventually they start missing information going into their albums. This is why we forget things - we have information overload and things drop out or don't enter our brains.
Its a bit like driving a car to a familiar place - if I asked you to tell me about every minute of the car journey you could not. You hands, feet and mind were driving safely but they were really on autopilot and you were likely thinking about what just happened or thinking about the day ahead. Our ADHD brains are on autopilot for most of the day - we are not paying attention to everything.
BUT ADHD can be a super power - we are very good at solving problems because we have so many albums opening in our brain thinking a variety of things. The trick for your son is working out how to trigger the dopamine levels in his brain to increase when he wants them to. Its called hyperfocus and its when all the photo albums in our brain are focusing on the one thing at the same time.

[crazycrofter]

This might not be of any use to you but my year 11 ds has ADHD. Before year 11 he’d never done any revision and I don’t think he knew how to. He also struggles to think/plan ahead, he’s very much in the moment, so he couldn’t even contemplate revision until the exam was the next day (and the presence of an exam/test often came as a surprise to him!). And he’s useless at organisation.

He likes to be independent and to have money of his own but was too young for a job, so I incentivised him by paying him by the hour for revision - starting in Feb. We also downloaded all his courses on Seneca.

He started revising for money. Because he was being paid, he was conscientious about only charging me time he was actually concentrating. He did it all on Seneca on his phone and used the timer on there. He would do 20 mins focused work on the bus to school and maybe 30 mins on the bus home. Seneca has stuff to read, videos and quizzes. After a while he found it was going in (I think he focuses better on a screen anyway) and he was getting good marks in the quizzes, so I think he found a bit of intrinsic motivation.

He went through all his subjects one at a time between Feb and May, then did a quick refresher before each exam. He thought they went well and he knew his stuff (although he hasn’t had results yet).

Seneca is brilliant because it’s all organised for you and you get a bit of a dopamine hit when you get a good score. And no writing is required! And the timing/paying worked as instead of sitting for hours and gazing out the window, he did short focused bursts of work which suits how his mind works.