2 DDs in 2 Separate Boarding schools

[ShaIlIOrShallINot]

I hope some one here can assure my that this is fine. DD1 is currently boarding full time in Year 10 and loves it. This school is very academic but then DD1 is also academic so it works really well. We applied for the same school for DD2, together with other schools and she got in as well.
To be honest we were slightly shocked when DD2 got into this school because she isn’t as academic as her older sister but she has an open mind when it comes to learning and she will give anything a try. DD1 thinks she will be fine when she gets there but now the head at her prep has got us doubting out choice. A little background here,
both kids where at state till year 6. Then prep for year 7 and 8 so we pretty much did the application process on our own. This works well for us as a family.
The head at DD2’s prep thinks we should look at another less academic school, also full boarding. I honestly don’t mind this new school but it’s the logistics that I am struggling to imagine. Even though DD1 is full boarding we are very much involved and pop around often.

My question, is anyone dealing 2 DCs boarding in 2 separate schools? In terms of distance, we’re talking an hour and a half each, opposite direction.

The first school is presumably aware of her academic record and capability and believes she'll be fine. As does her sister who is surely aware not everyone in class is as smart as her and knows whether they're shamed / bullied etc. So I'd trust them.

If you see them outside of school holidays I wouldn't put three hours between them

Thank you! this is my thinking too however for a minute I was concerned that DD2 will end up in a place that will make a her miserable.

Can you tell us the names of the schools OP?

Well if It makes her miserable then you can look to move her. No need to borrow trouble.

People with 1 boy and 1 girl do it all the time, so should be OK.

However I'd me more concerned with you comparing schools thinking A was better than B.

Could you check with the first school that DD2 really met their standard and they didn't lower it because she was a sibling? Would that put your mind at ease.

Its not so much about one school being better than the other. One IS more academic, that's demonstrable. Maybe we have always imagined them together that is why but as you rightly pointed out, people with 1 boy and 1 girl do it all the time, so should be OK.

Thank you for you input

I'd rather get it right to start with rather to go through the disruption of moving her down the line.

So why did you enter her for that particular school? And how are you going to explain withdrawing her now?

Having come from a private school (part) but not boarding background I think your younger DD will be fine at the same school as her older sibling and if there are any difficulties you can just move her. The whole boarding experience I'd guess will be better shared with her sister than at a different boarding school.

This. She got in and her sister thinks she will be fine. She'll probably be fine.

I definitely wouldn't start looking for other options at this stage based on the very late advice from a head who hasn't known your DD that long. I also think it would be rough on your daughter who presumably wants to go to this school and got a place there, to tell her that she's not going after all because she's not academic enough.

sigh...

Thank you. Makes perfect sense and this was our initial thought process.

Thank you. Reading all these replies makes it clearer. The school didn't lower their requirements for her but I am sure some kind of sibling advantage applied so should be fine. When your DC is going to be boarding you want to make sure you get it right and I think they head's comment made us doubt our choice for a second. Thank you again

A friend had similar situation with her DS’s. Was very surprised the younger one got into the very very academic school her older son went to. Younger one went there and is absolutely fine.
Your younger DD wouldn’t have been offered a place if they didn’t think she could cope. The very academic schools can fill their places easily so won’t have offered a place just to make up numbers. There is a fairly broad range of abilities at even the ‘top’ schools.
If they want to go to the same school if let them. But I do know lots of siblings at different ones.

I think it would be beneficial to keep them in the same school so they don't drift apart as siblings. They'll be a source of support to each other throughout life if they have a well established relationship

If you have a highly academic older DD, your perception of the ability range at an academic school might be a bit skewed.

The school would not have offered her a place if they did not assess her as able to thrive there, so I would say be very proud of both your DDs for their achievements and support them both in going to the same school.

I'm a cynic but it sounds to me like the prep head is regretting writing your DD such a good reference and is worried Dd2s academic abilities will reflect badly on the prep school. She should have said all this before the applications, it's not professional. Send DD2 and move her if there's a problem. Perhaps ask DD1 to keep a look out for issues too.