School move?

[Eli10]

Just wanted to get other views on this as I'm unsure what to do really. Dd is in year 7 at a state secondary with an excellent reputation. It is 3.5 miles away, not too terrible, but going with the flow of traffic during the rush hour so is not a particularly quick and easy journey. This is one aspect of it she dislikes, together with the fact that they are very strict (think uniform etc) and also when she has been ill at school on a couple of occasions they don't take it at all seriously.
It seems like they automatically don't believe the child is unwell unless they are vomiting or have a temperature I presume?? She had a stomach ache a few weeks ago that left her doubled over in pain and she was told to go back to class, she was kicked out of the office and then the toilets.
Just as reference, she is not a sickly child doesn't often get ill - she didn't have one day off throughout the whole of the juniors, so I can't see why they would dismiss her like this.
She doesn't like the school and would like to move. I'm not sure whether we need to persevere and give her time to adapt, or just cut our losses and look for somewhere new in year 8?
Are the above reasons enough to warrant a change in schools??
Thanks for reading.

[TizerorFizz]

Are you saying you have nearer decent school(a) with places? This is what will really matter.

Most schools like DC to adhere to uniform in y7. Setting the tone so to speak. What was wrong with DD at school? Was she ill and then off school? It might be that she’s trying to avoid certain classes and if she’s unhappy, it might be something that flares up. Did you go snd collect her and what did the school say about not taking her seriously? I assume you spoke to them.

You and she must surely have known about the traffic. It’s probably less than before WFH days! Your DD doesn’t like the school but is there anywhere else? She’s tried it and presumably doesn’t have many friends. So yes, try and move. However I would make it clear that there’s no more swapping and changing.

[Eli10]

Obviously was aware of a certain amount of traffic, I think the problem is a) she was a bit too used to only having a 5 min walk to her primary school previously and b) to top it off the bus is a bit rubbish - sometimes not turning up, terminating early etc etc. The problem with the strictness of the uniform is some of it is made up as they go along, for instance her PE bag which is a plain navy cloth tote bag apparently isn't uniform, but on uniform list there's nothing about what bag you need to use for PE? Things like that.
When she was unwell I didn't collect her as they never called me. She told me afterwards. I would've preferred to be informed of the situation then I could've made the decision about whether she should've been picked up.
There are a number of schools nearer but they don't have as good results or reputations, that's the problem. Could we just be jumping from one bad situation to something worse.

[TizerorFizz]

It seems those schools are bypassed by the parents who want better leaving the locals in the schools with poor reputations. I’m assuming you bypassed them too. I would take a closer look. Are they RI or worse? Do they have any DC with great results? What extra activities can DC do and are DC happy there? Would your DD find friends? It seems she wasn’t mature enough regarding embracing the rules of her school so maybe a less forthright school might help? Or you could stick by your decision and talk to her school about the issues you raise.

[redskyatnight]

Some of that is just change from primary school - the journey is what it is (and presumably you knew how far the school was when you picked it); most schools are quite strict in Year 7, including seemingly adding rules as they go along; and it's pretty common for the school medical person to tell a child to go away and come back in 30 minutes if they still feel bad (and equally not to call a parent - most DC would probably call the parent themselves if they felt really ill). And they won't have a clue how often she was sick in junior school.

So I wouldn't say those reasons were ones to change schools. The fact that your DC is unhappy and asking to move is. If you have a closer school available, I would have a long serious look at it - and not just at results and reputation (which is another word for gossip IMO) - I suspect it might be worth a "less good" school for the time saved not phaffing with the bus and your DC potentially feeling better about it.

[cansu]

I wouldn't move for those reasons which all sound more like most secondary schools. It is the difference between primary where you are more coddled and secondary where you get on with it. I think things would be similar in other schools. She just needs to get used to the change and the growing up. If school called every parent when a kid turned up saying they had stomach ache there would a queue out of the door.

[Hellocatshome]

I dont think those reasons would make me move school. Sounds like an adjusting to secondary school issue rather than an issue with the actual school.

[fruitypancake]

Has she got nice friends that she likes being around?

[Eli10]

Thanks for all the replies. It's given me something to think about. She does have a selection of friends in different classes but not a best friend. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't come home every day crying or refusing to go in, I just thought she'd be happier at secondary than she is really, but maybe she needs to just get used to it. I did a similar journey to school at her age and it didn't really bother me at all tbh.

[redskyatnight]

I did a similar journey to school at her age and it didn't really bother me at all tbh.

Your daughter is not you, though, and she's now had 2 years of a post Covid world where people tend to travel less in general and have spent more time with their families and not just doing "stuff" (or that may be irrelevant, she might have hated it anyway - I hated doing a similar journey when I was at school).
And even if it didn't bother her, it would still be nicer not to do it, I'm sure :)

[Eli10]

Yes that is true. I did what I thought was best at the time, but in hindsight maybe I should've looked at options that would've made day to day life a bit easier. Thanks for your input, it's good to hear other people's views on it.