I am thinking of letting DS miss his umpteenth secondary school test tomorrow am I crazy?

[citylover]

DS1 is in year 6.

I live in an innner london borough where the secondary schools are very variable. All the four good local ones we have applied for are very oversubscribed and there is a very slim chance he will be allocated one of those, it's a complete lottery. For his first choice they are actually (from this year) operating a lottery system within their inner catchment area as opposed to a catchment area alone - we live 5 minutes away!!

In a panic and to try to cover all eventualities I put down two rather random grammar schools on the outskirts of London.

DS is very bright but to be honest I don't think he is suited to the grammar school environment, he would be better suited to a local comprehensive school.

And as I was forced to go to a fee paying school on a scholarship and hated it I am very aware that however good a school is you won't thrive if you hate it! However my situation was slightly different in that my other option was a really good state grammar school where 70% of my classmates went to. I was the only one from my school to go to my secondary school.

When he sat the test at the first grammar school he hated the school. The second one tomorrow is not quite as traditional as the first but it is still highly selective and his chances of getting in there also slim. I know one boy from his nursery who got in and if my DS was offered at that school then he could travel with him. It's about a 20 minute train ride plus a bus at this end.

He has sat so many tests for each different schools - he has sat 5 to date plus the banding tests at school. The selection tomorrow is 5 hours fgs they have asked them to bring a packed lunch.

I haven't had him tutored but he is now used to the format of the 11+.

I am feeling inclined to say that he doesn't need to sit the test and just hope for the best (which is all you can do anyway with the current system) because really we would like a local school.

However I am so worried that he will be offered a place at one of the really bad schools in the borough and they are bad by any measure believe me despite their spin. We are talking gangland and really low A-C scores at GCSE. But by not going tomorrow our odds of this won't really increase much.

It is alleged our LEA operates social engineering whereby they offer places at the less successful schools to people in the more affluent successful parts of the boroughand vice versa.

What a mess!!

At least as we rent we do have the option of moving but
am very very reluctant to do that as I know people around here - have lived here for 15 of my 20 years in London and I really love this area. I am also very close to my work. And DS2 is happy in primary school.

I am 99% sure you live not far away from me, citylover, all this sounds depressingly familiar. Especially the bit about social engineering and place offers.
Are you in L or G and are the random grammar schools in B I wonder?
Where we live the secondary schools are dire - we are offically bottom of the London league table as of yesterday.
I think I am better placed than you in that we gave up on living somewhere nice a while back and moved to a part of the borough within catchment area of the neighbouring borough's grammars.
Tbh I would still send him to sit the test. Has he visited the school in question and did he like it any better than the other one? I ask this because although they are all good, my local grammars do vary widely in style and atmosphere, with one being quite refreshingly Bohemian and lively, and others...well...not. Much more trad and "honours board" ish.
If your local schools are as crap as you say, and I can well believe it, I would keep as many options open as you can now and fingers crossed for the lottery result.

Has he had a chance to see the school yet (is it one of the Sutton ones?).

Tbh I think that he needs to be part of this decision. If he really doesn't want to do it then I would not push him as he'll probably just flunk the papers. But tbh I would want him to be able to make an informed decision.

Ds1 is far from that stage yet, but when the time comes he will be shown the default school (which actually there is absolutely no way that I would ever let him go to, but he needn't know that) as well as the others where selection etc may be required.

If he hasn't seen the school, then the decision is down to you really. You wnt a good comp, but you're not guarenteed to get it. Even if he passes the test you can still apply for the comp and have the grammar as a back-up (though not sure that you'll get the grammar if it is 2nd place). If he doesn't take the test or takes and doesn't pass then you're left hoping for a good comp. Even if you move then there is no certainty of getting into a good comp as you will have missed the admission deadline?

Good point ladymuck
I think our default "choice" would scare the bejasus out of us all
32% 5 or more GCSEs A-C anyone

18% . The only musical intruments offered are guitar and drums, and even then less than a dozen pupils take them in the entire school.

Thanks for this both.

I am in S (north of the borough) and the grammar school is in K. We did set out for the open evening which was one night after work but there was a problem with traffic and there wasn't a hope in hell of getting there in time. So we turned back.

I am going to talk to him again about it today when I pick him up.

The grammars were choices 5 & 6 but apparently the schools are not told what your preference they are.

He is also down for a fantastic one in L which is 3 miles away but this is the most oversubscribed in the country.

TBH I knew this situation was coming but there has been so much disruption over the past three years (split from ex, moved twice) the one thing I wanted to keep stable/familiar for DCs was their primary school/friends.

Plus I didn't want to move then and be without the limited support I have in this area.

Ex's input is at best lukewarm. He seems very detached from it all.

Oh blimey
In fairness, our local one was in special measures and heroic efforts are being made to turn it round
But you still have police permanently stationed there, arrangements in place to stop gang fights breaking out at home time etc

oh, I know the school in L all right citylover. It is a wonderful place. Friends' children went there and so did some people in my year at primary school.
If the school in K is SO, I can understand your misgivings to be honest. It really is only a place for the very academically inclined IME. It's a high bar to set.
Erk, I am not sure what I'd do if that's the school in question.

Ours isn't in special measures. It is considered to be doing well with the pupils that it gets (I think that is has a relatively good "added value" score). We get the police too but that is now standard for all sec schools locally since Ken has let kids go free on buses. Actually the 2 nearest primaries (one prep, one RC) are both very good. But kids get shipped in to this one.

The grammars won't be told your preference, but I thought that if you put them 5th and 6th then you get considered behind everyone who put them first? But I haven't look at the state secondary school process at all, as it seems to change each year and Ds1 is only in Year 2. The only reason I've thought about it all is because my church met in the noted default school for a while which got my attention!

I looked at the link and it does have a very good AV score indeed, something my borough can't manage at all (children of all abilities poorly served it seems )
Ds is going into Yr5 next year and we are already mulling over which open days to attend next Autumn (plus friends in Yr 6 at school are going through the same grind as citylover's ds and so is a colleague's dd)

No it's not SO its DGG which I hope would be a bit more 'real'.

I have found this process so draining and have tried not to pass this on to DS. Although he can grasp the situation he does not of course have the experience to deal with it.

It's a time when you realise how insignificant you are as individuals.

And of course it brings back alot of bad memories for me as I was given no choice whatsoever just told that it was a great honour for me to go there even though I told my parents in no uncertain terms that I did not want to go.

I hear DGS is a fantastic school, not as "driven" for want of a better word as SO.
That's not really helping you decide, I'm sorry.
Best of luck with it all anyway

Well, I confess that I did let ds1 opt out of sitting a grammar school test on Monday when he said "I can always fail it deliberately". But then, although I'm not a million miles from LadyMuck, the local Comp isn't doing too badly and I'm actually moving him to a Prep school anyway (thereby delaying everything until he is 13 - such a cop-out).

In your shoes, I think I might make him sit the test.

Initials of Prep?

CH - it must be near you, actually, as it's not that far from lovely Haling Manor!!!!

Yep - know it well! When do you start? Is he going into Yr7 or are you doing Yr6? I'll be very interested to know how you find it as I don't know anyone who has stayed on yet (though the son of the head of preprep, who was ds1's teacher last year, is staying on and will be in Yr7 next year). The PrePrep is great though.

How funny! I'm sending him there for Y7 in September. I did wonder how many stayed on (didn't think it would be many) but it's the only option if I want him to stay in a small school.

So come September I may bump into you without knowing it!

Well have spoken at length to DS and have decided between us that he won't go and sit the five hours of tests tomorrow.

His heart just isn't in it and he would probably sabotage the paper if I force him. The liklihood of him actually being offered a place is so small. I was just feeling desperate when we did the 'preferences' and don't want to do him down as I keep being told his is so bright.

Just hope that's the right decision. My instinct is that it is.

I so hate having little control over something so important. The allocation to the local comp is so random.

If he were lucky enough to get in to the local comp and his friends (some whose parents have lived in London all their lives vs me who has lived here since 1987) then I will feel bad.

Such an unfair system. No-one really wins.

Some of the less impressive schools he could be allocated to are (mostly renamed) GA, K, and W and PA. In my nightmares.

In the south of the boro.

Elenya - out of the 3 Yr 6 classes I think that one is already set aside for those boys staying on (so they have escaped the cramming over Christmas and have enjoyed a wider curriculum over the last 2 terms), and doubtless there will be a couple more joining them once the results are all in. But obviously a reasonable sized contingent joins in Yr 7 (I think that last years head boy was a Yr 7 joiner). I suspect that we're unlikely to speak though unless by chance at a concert or something - Senior school parents are rarely seen in the same hours as Lower School or Preprep!

It is so tough, citylover, isn't it? Of course you want the best for him but there is no point in forcing him to sit 5 hours of tests if his heart isn't in it. The whole thing is such a lottery - I know what you mean about feeling desperate when you had to fill in the form.

Gosh, LadyMuck, you make it sound like ds1 will never be out of the place! That might be a shock for him after his cushy ride at Primary!

Just looked at the league tables, citylover, and I see what you mean.

I think Senior school boys rarely have their mothers in tow! But yes, the boys are kept fairly busy. They seem to enjoy it though. I don't know any boys who are unhappy there. Of course it is impossible to please all the parents - one tinks ther eis too much homework, another too little, on thinks too much port, etc etc.

in defence of haling manor. nine years ago, i did a teaching practice there. and it had some excellent teachers. good mangement strusture in the school. teachers really on the ball. good discipline in classrooms. well constructed lessons. clean buildings. friendly kids.
however, i would nt send ds there by choice. but

i would let you rson sit the exam. if he doesnt then the likelihood of getting i n is zero. if he does, then its 1%,. what else is he doing with his time?
its like buying a lottery ticket, but better odds