Considering move to Exeter and Exeter School

[Bateleur]

Hi,

We are thinking quite seriously about leaving London and moving down to Exeter for a better quality of life for our family. (Or so we hope!)

We are currently in the typical SW London rat race, with two young kids in fast-paced, high performing prep and pre-prep schools. Whilst we are for the most part very happy, as we have wonderful friends and have embraced everything our community offers (sports clubs etc), we crave a more outdoor lifestyle, with close connections to green spaces and the coast. We are very active and find ourselves driving out to Surrey, Hampshire, Sussex most weekends to get our outdoor fix!

We also worry about the wealth and materialism/keeping up with the Jones vibe in our part of SW London and Surrey, and all the pressure/obsession with the 11 plus process. And so we are looking for a more down to earth, liberal and balanced environment for our kids, whilst giving them the opportunity to have an outstanding education.

We have holidayed in South Hams for many years and so know South Devon relatively well (although not Exeter specifically) and so are naturally drawn to the area and all it has to offer.

We are also very impressed by what we have read up about Exeter school and think it would potentially be a really good fit for our kids. We are yet to visit, but plan to do so this term.

So in the mean time would love to hear from anyone who has made a similar move and/or has children at Exeter School. Also; any advice around great villages to live. At the moment we are drawn to the area from Topsham down to Exmouth with good access to the estuary and beaches etc.

Thank you!

No advice about Exeter school sorry, but I lived in Exeter for 10 years and it was wonderful. Topsham is a really lovely place, I would definitely live there if I could. We used to visit Exmouth beach, Dawlish, Budleigh Salterton regularly it was great for our young children.

X

I have taught at Exeter School for a couple of terms a few years ago. When my DC were at school we considered it but could never have afforded the fees so they went to the local grammar school which costs nothing but gets comparable results. There is an entrance exam for Exeter School but I have no idea how it compares with the grammar schools.

Exeter School has great facilities but there is an element of keeping up with the Jones', albeit nowhere near the level you mention. It is quite boy-heavy as lots of girls go to Maynard which is the private girls' school. We wanted co-ed for our DDs and despite all the protestations on here, both have studied STEM subjects at university because girls in a mixed school can do well in Physics at A level.

When considering where to live, I would look at transport into Exeter because the problem with places down the Exe estuary on the East side is getting into Exeter in the morning. If I leave my house at 8.30 on a Saturday morning, I can be parked in the middle of Exeter by 9. If I leave my house at 8.30 on a weekday morning, I wouldn't necessarily be there by 9.30. Junction 30 of the M5 is a nightmare and the A376/A3052 backs up. My commute of 8 miles to Exeter School took anything from 25 minutes if I left home at 7.15 to well over an hour if I left after 7.30. I work in the other direction now; it's 16 miles and takes 28 to 30 minutes. Topsham, Exton, Lympstone and Exmouth have stations. The train isn't massively convenient for Exeter School as you'd have to get off at Polsloe Bridge and walk along that road or go to Exeter Central and walk up. The 57 bus does a similar route to the train but does stop by the school. Some parents set up minibuses or lift shares, so it would be worth asking what there is now.

Depending on what you want: Exmouth - nice parts but some really downmarket bits. The town centre isn't great. Lympstone is nice but has really narrow lanes and gets rammed. The village primary school is pretty good there. Exton and Ebford are ok. Exton has a station but that's about it. All those places are in East Devon. Topsham comes under Exeter City Council's jurisdiction. It is a nice place to eat and shop but parking can be a nightmare and it is quite overpriced. There is lots of building work going on round Topsham so if something has a postcode of EX3, check very carefully where it is.

If you decide to bite the bullet and move away from the estuary, Woodbury is nice but still quite convenient and has a bus to Exeter. Budleigh Salterton is nice but it's a town of 2 halves, in terms of wealth or not and there are a LOT of retired people. East Budleigh and Otterton are lovely postcard-type villages. Sidmouth is a nice place, again popular with retirees but there is a regular bus service into Exeter. The town centre of Sidmouth is much nicer than Exmouth. Inland, Ottery St Mary is a nice town and places on the Waterloo tramline are also good eg Whimple. Cranbrook is a new town with mixed reviews.

Happy to help by PM.

Oh wow Malbecfan! Thank you so much for taking the time to provide such a detailed reply. It is extremely helpful and I'm most grateful!

What it highlights to me is what looks fantastic on paper to us, is probably very different in reality.

I think we need to actually spend alot more time in the area leading up to any move and also rent once there rather than buy.

I suspect we are drawn to 'coastal' living but in reality might be better living somewhere more central or in the country, with the benefit of the coast on our doorstep. The traffic sounds like a complete nightmare!

Thanks too for all the info about the school too. Both my children are boys and at all boy schools, so we would welcome the co-ed environment, even if not fully balanced.

I will arrange to see the school and other in the area soon, and go from there.

Thanks again!

Hello! I have three at Exeter School and we made a very similar move for all the same reasons a few years ago (albeit from North London). It’s is a very well trodden path and more than half of our Exeter friends are families who have done the exact same thing.

We love Exeter School. We have 2 girls and a boy there and it is great for all of them. There are slightly more boys than girls, but we don’t mind that and it doesn’t feel like a “boys’ school”. Both heads (junior and senior schools) are women - senior school head has recently arrived from St Paul’s Girls in Sao Paolo Brazil where she was head - so it feels more modern than perhaps it did a few years ago. If you’re at typical London private schools, then I think you’ll find it slightly less academic, but it’s still fairly academic (from my experience moving from state primary at 7 for each child, to do well the kids need to be at a level where they’d be comfortable in the year above at at a state school - so not genius level and most kids wouldn’t need extra tutoring to get in, but above average). The most academic school locally is Colyton Grammar - lots of friends have kids there and really love it (and it’s free!) but they do still need to provide the add on opportunities that ours get at school and all (I know of more than 10 families there) tutored hard for more than a year to get in.

In terms of keeping up with the Jones’, I know what the previous poster means to an extent (as in it’s a private school, so parents are driving nice cars and quite a few kids are going on skiing holidays etc), BUT it is nowhere near what London is like! Around 2/3rds or maybe just under of the mums are working, usually full time often doctors / lawyers (that ratio is true of all the school years my kids are in) and there are no nannies at the school gate. There are plenty of kids / families who are doing camping holidays in Cornwall with both parents working hard / sacrificing to send kids there. So far (eldest still only a tween), there’s been no boasting / comparisons among the kids.

personally, after renting, we chose to buy in Exeter. Houses aren’t super cheap but we fell into the stereotype of swapping a 2 bed flat for a 5 bed house. We like that we can walk into the city, school run is short (walkable) and we can be on the beach or Dartmoor in 30 minutes drive (this happens every weekend!). I need to commute to London a couple of days every week, so close to the main line was essential. Other friends have very happily bought bigger houses with big gardens / a pool etc in much more remote countryside and they’ve definitely got more bang for their buck, so you just need to decide what to prioritise. As well as coast, the villages between Exeter and Tiverton (Thorverton, Silverton, Brampford Speke) seem popular, as is Chagford on Dartmoor.

Thank you both posters for your detailed contributions they are very helpful. My DSs are 6 and 9 and we are looking to move this academic year. They are at a SW London private school, do you think the entrance exam is hard, I would say they are average academically.

Is the school sporty as my boys are very in to their rugby, cricket, running and gymnastics.

@Warby1 yes there are a number of sporting opportunities at Exeter School. The entrance exam is not a walk in the park. I know some kids who passed it that didn't get into Colyton Grammar (mentioned in @legallyblond 's post), but I suspect it is different, rather than "easier". Have you checked the website?

Exeter School does have a junior department and the vast majority move up to the seniors. Maybe that is something to consider.

You stated you were looking for a more liberal environment than SE London. I doubt Devon is really going to be your scene. Most Londoners hate it here and 45% who moved here since COVID have gone back to wherever they came from, generally nursing a loss.
Nobody gives a monkeys what car you drive, or what you earn, but you will be expected to contribute. If you want to sit in a big house and grow Leylandi hedges, you will not find yourself making many friends. You may have a big house with a pool - but nobody to share it with, other than the type of people you are trying to move away from who have also all moved to Exeter.
You are doubtless welcome to live in Exeter like any other Londoner, but it is not really Devon at all. It's ludicrously overpriced for a town crawling with the homeless but makes overpaid professionals feel like they made the big move. Then, in time, they move back to London which has an awful lot more going on than Exeter.
Think long and hard. Bon chance. If you can embrace rural living in a smaller community, move down. Otherwise...not much going on.
PS Most private schools here are not hot houses, they are schools that produce well rounded kids. Some people value that over the obsession with league tables and GCSE results that no employer will ever ask to see. Depends what you want.

I wouldn't worry about the entrance exam as long as your kids are at a school that's reasonably academic. DS passed the 13+ entry from a good prep school despite being having weak visual processing skills. However, it is a school where most/many kids come through the junior school or join at 11, and he never really made friends as the friendship circles seemed very fixed; I never met other parents. We ended up leaving after a year, although that was mainly driven by our (very distant) location and the length of the commute. On the days he couldn't get the bus, it was 100 mile round trip for me and in Y10 it would have been 4x weekly with after school studio sessions or activities.

You've already been told about the traffic and commuting issues. I like Topsham but Exeter doesn't thrill me as a city, and while we considered relocating, we eventually decided against, and moved DS closer to home.

My niece was at this school and had very ‘generous’ GCSE grades awarded by school during covid, very high predicted a levels that got a great offer for her at Uni - but her A level results fell well under par and she couldn’t get on the course she wanted. They were listed in The Times as one of the schools that really inflated exam results during covid.