Anyone else stuck in waiting list limbo?

[AmeliaEarhart]

… And haven’t gone the appeals process? We were offered our third choice school back in March 1st. DH and I are happy enough; it’s not perfect but has enough going for it that we’d be okay with DS going there (walking distance, good facilities, great SEN support) but DS is completely against the idea. He has ASD and can be extremely rigid so we’ll be in for a tough time changing his mind. It doesn’t help that only one other child from his class at primary is going there.

So he’s on the waiting list for choices 1 and 2. Number 19 for school 1 and 9 for school 2. Neither is straight forward as both schools have multiple waiting lists (1st choice because it’s an academy and faith school with different admissions paths, and second choice because it has a banded intake). Everyone keeps assuring us that, being in central London, they’ll be lots of movement before September and DS might still be offered a place at either school. We didn’t consider appealing as our reasons for preferring schools 1 and 2 (other than DS’s insistence that he’s not setting foot in school 3) are that they have better results, which doesn’t seem like a strong argument!

Is anyone else in a similar situation? How are you feeling about it? Are you prepared to hang on in there until September, hoping until the bitter end for a place at your first choice, or preparing your child (and yourself) to settle for what you’ve got?

@waiting2022 looking at your older posts I can see you mention that the grammar school is in North London so therefore a super selective. As brutal as it sounds I’d be asking myself why she didn’t make it through on 1st March. If she was tutored then you need to be sure she’s up for the pressurised environment. I say this as a former pupil of a girls grammar school in North London. I sailed through primary school a confident child who was used to being one of the top in my class. Only to have all of that disappear at secondary school. It wasn’t until I got to university when I was in a more mixed group again that I realised I was actually pretty smart. My advice would be to think about it very carefully! Good luck!

@waiting2022 I just read the post above mine and if it's possibly latymer, I would move her. In fact, any grammar in N London wouldn't even let her in from the waiting list if she wasn't good enough. Latymer is much less pressured than many a comp in that area. It's very chilled and she will fit in so quickly! She will find lots of like minded kids and they all travel so get to know each other on busses etc. She will love it. If it's latymer I'd move without hesitation. Somewhere like Henrietta Barnett? Probably same to be honest. They just don't get a space if they aren't good enough, even from waiting list.

@waiting2022 What’s the school like that she’s currently at?
I think moving an anxious 11 year old is a mistake, she’s obviously a bright girl let her continue to be one of the best in her class rather than middle of the road at a competitive grammar.

Have you made a decision yet @waiting2022? Please do come back and let us know.

We are leaning towards not accepting. I think a bright child will do well anywhere and not sure a move now is worth the upheaval and stress it would cause my DD.

I think you know your child best. If she's not desperate to move and you're not unhappy with the school it is potentially a big change. The people I know who moved after the start of term it was because the child really wanted to.

We got an offer the same day as you and my son started today at the new school. We had a similar dilemma but in the end we thought that long term the new school would be a better fit (as it specialises in the subjects my son likes). But I am not fully confident we have done the right thing, time will tell! I hope whatever decision you make your daughter settles.

@waiting2022 i agree, you know your child best and you have to do what’s best for her. FWIW I wouldn’t move my DS now if we got that call, all through the summer holidays I would have gladly accepted but not now he’s finding his feet and making friends. Your DD is a bright girl and with supportive parents putting her needs first she’ll do amazingly well at her current school I’m sure.