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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Proms (year 11)

25 replies

babybel12 · 17/03/2022 18:39

What are the norms for proms, year 11; (the actual proms as opposed to after- prom party) and provision of alcohol? Surely it's a bit much to allow and provide alcohol at such an event? How many of you would object to alcohol being tolerated (and provided!) at such an event?

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noblegiraffe · 17/03/2022 18:41

No alcohol allowed, students searched if suspected to have any.

I can't imagine a school would be providing alcohol to underage pupils??

RedskyThisNight · 17/03/2022 18:42

There is no alcohol available at DD's Year 11 prom. I'd be extremely surprised if a school organised event would agree to alcohol for under 18s. If it's being organised outside of school, I guess that's a bit diferent.

Original poster
babybel12 · 17/03/2022 18:42

Unfortunately it isn't being organised by the school.....by the parents Angry

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Original poster
babybel12 · 17/03/2022 18:52

Just wondering how many of you would allow your 16 year go?? I'm concerned about the message this sends to them as it's parent organised

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LadyMacduff · 17/03/2022 18:54

School ones are chaperoned by staff. Students who have clearly loaded up on alcohol are barred and parents asked to collect. Any hip flask type activity is monitored and confiscated. Absolutely no alcohol is sold or served.

Some of them will always manage to sneak it in in clutch bags, and you always get one or two who overdo it but in my experience, they end up being well run.

I'd be nervous of a parent run one, and as a staff member I would never attend even if invited.

LadyLazarus40 · 17/03/2022 18:55

The proms my children have attended have always had a glass or 2 or champagne or beer at Pre Prom and then a lot of alcohol at the after party which has always been at someone’s house. Year 13 are allowed alcohol at actual prom if over 18z

Original poster
babybel12 · 17/03/2022 18:57

Thanks everyone for your replies!! Good to hear what others think/have experienced

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LadyLazarus40 · 17/03/2022 18:57

^ no alcohol allowed at yr 11 prom and not allowed to bring alcohol I. To yr 13 prom

user1471443411 · 17/03/2022 18:59

Where is it being held? Proms in my area are generally held in hotel function rooms, they are a meal and then dancing and alcohol wouldn't be allowed. I think it must be a private hall booking or otherwise venues would lose their licence. In theory, I wouldn't object to a small amount of supervised alcohol being allowed eg punch like in America, or a couple of ciders.

Africa2go · 17/03/2022 19:00

Is it in a school hall or something, because obviously if it's in a hotel or similar (that's what my DC had, organised by students themselves) they're not allowed to serve alcohol.

elliejjtiny · 17/03/2022 19:23

I remember when I went to 6th form prom there were a few boys selling alcohol from the boot of their car. No alcohol was served to students and even the staff were only allowed one drink the young sociology teacher was seen buying drinks from the car boot as well.

Original poster
babybel12 · 17/03/2022 21:11

This will be in a private venue...and the parents organising it have made no secret of the fact there will be alcohol allowed. I'm not impressed tbh!!

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Hellohah · 17/03/2022 21:36

DS had prom at school. No alcohol.

We hosted the after party and there was alcohol.

RedskyThisNight · 18/03/2022 12:16

@babybel12

This will be in a private venue...and the parents organising it have made no secret of the fact there will be alcohol allowed. I'm not impressed tbh!!
That sounds more like a private party than a school sanctioned activity then. And it is not unusual for Year 11 parties to feature alcohol.
3WildOnes · 18/03/2022 12:44

If the parents are organising it just sounds like an end of year party rather than a prom. I would expect alcohol at parties in year 11.

Comefromaway · 18/03/2022 13:06

That’s not a prom, it’s a private party.

My child would not be allowed to attend.

Original poster
babybel12 · 18/03/2022 13:56

I agree it's nothing more than a private party...but it's being marketed as a proms, and being marketed as being something that is for all the kids in the year. That's what I can't stand. Private parties can have all the alcohol in the world as far as I'm concerned but they should not make that an "official" proms and market it in a way that all the kids are expected to attend.

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Original poster
babybel12 · 18/03/2022 13:58

And while there may indeed be alcohol at year 11 parties I wouldn't expect the parents to sanction it or presume it should be part and parcel of the event??

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RedskyThisNight · 18/03/2022 14:16

@babybel12

And while there may indeed be alcohol at year 11 parties I wouldn't expect the parents to sanction it or presume it should be part and parcel of the event??
Parents sanction it because being open about it means that you have more of a clue what is going on and can restrict what is available. Otherwise it's likely to be just smuggled in.

Your choice whether to let your child go or not and at least you can make an informed choice. No one should be expected to attend the prom whether school organised or not.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2022 14:19

Parents sanction it because being open about it means that you have more of a clue what is going on and can restrict what is available. Otherwise it's likely to be just smuggled in.

I agree. I doubt that there are many 16 year olds who have never tasted alcohol.

MissAmbrosia · 18/03/2022 16:34

Where I live 16 yos can legally buy beer, wine etc. I find it gives (usually) a more sensible attitude to it, rather than it being forbidden.

RampantIvy · 18/03/2022 16:38

Where is that @MissAmbrosia?

MissAmbrosia · 18/03/2022 19:47

Belgium

Ljmumun · 20/03/2022 23:21

From experience one 19yr old and a 14.yr old if you sanction it in moderation from 14 or 15 then they don't go mad with it. Infact the 14 yr old has declined any offer of Christmas fizz or half a glass of wine occasionally. The 18 year old was allowed.and did have the odd beer or glass of wine from year 11. He now drinks in moderation and knows his limits. In reality it there and sactioning it allows better control. saying no leads to kids overdoing it and being very unwell in my experience.

Original poster
babybel12 · 01/04/2022 21:36

Yes I quite get that except I know (from experience of this class!) that the alcohol won't be in moderation. It will be massive!!!! I'm not not into discussing about whether alcohol is OK at that age because that's a personal choice. All I was concerned with is that it's a so called formal occasion organised by parents and referred to as a proms and is essentially breaking the law. And I don't think parents should be conveying that sort of message to minors. That's all

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