Grammar place - friends a bit hissy

[EyeBallisticSquid]

DD's been offered a place at a super-selective grammar. Because she has autism, I put my politics and principles to one side, and went for the place that I felt would give her the best chance of coping, and of finding a like-minded social tribe - it has a disproportionate number of of kids with HF-ASC. Only one of my friends has congratulated her and we've had some snidey/hissy comments. I'm taken aback and wondering if this is common? I'll dust myself off and perk up tomorrow, obvs - but today I feel a bit low. Meh. Any wise words?

Honestly just ignore it.

There's always someone to put a downer on things. The only people you need to worry about in this is your family.

Just don't talk about it. To anyone. They will either be attempting to " gather evidence " you should not have the place over them, or trying to make themselves feel better about their result by making you miserable about hours.

You won't see them again a few weeks from now. Many who busted a gut to get their kids in somewhere will often end up regretting it once they see the next 4 years of bus pass expenses or traffic jams looming.ahead.

Its sadly just how it is.

Be happy for your dd. Look.firward to her starting etc

Thanks Whatwouldscullydo, you are right. I will ignore it. Deep down I always knew they were acquaintances rather than friends. Friends would show an ounce of sympathy for my DDs autism. Thanks to all for your comments. All taken on board. Retiring this post now. Thanks, all x

Congratulations to you and your dd.

Ignore these 'friends' there are so many jealous misery guts out there, don't waste your time with them. No-one is entitled to anything, your dd gut the place by being exceptionally smart, hard working and focused.

If you were already being pitied by your 'friends' because you autistic dd has her unique challenges, I can understand why you kept your grammar school application private, it's nobody's business and would have made you feel exposed and not empowered. By the looks of things they would have probably discouraged you or your dd so it was best kept close to your chest, well done!

I have a friend whose lovely boy managed to pass the 11+ a couple of years ago and one of my friend's neighbours has been bitching and gossiping about her and her ds ever since just because the neighbour's own ds didn't manage to pass it. Some people have very small minds.

Just be very positive about everyone else's choice of school and you'll see which friends remain with you and your dd in the next few months. Onwards and up.

Congratulations. Sorry I'm late and have missed you.

Advice: Ignore your 'friends'.

My autistic dd did very well at a selective independent school and is still reaping the benefits as she approaches her forties.

OP - congratulations on your daughter's school place.

I agree with some of the posters above who found your initial post irritating. You say you've put your politics and principles aside to do what's best for your child. Should the rest of us not so what's best for our children? Should we ban selective schools, except where they suit your child? Shouldn't all children have the chance to attend one if they pass the tests? Shouldn't your politics and principles align with what's best for your child?

Just ignore them and be grateful your DD has a spot in what will hopefully be a good fit for her.

Hi, you did right by your daughter, that's the key thing.

I did similar with my autistic son and he is thriving. I have to say, I didn't really care what other parents thought! Though I never kept it a secret.

You sound like you really don’t like any of these people-your comments about them are fairly loaded.

You also seemingly didn’t tell them that DD was no planning to take the 11+/had done it/had put the grammar first on the list? They were probably surprised that you have apparently very deliberately kept this quiet!

Are you actually even friends with them?!

This certainly isn’t how I behave with my friends who were very happy for us when my children passed the 11+.