Habs Girls or STAHS for secondary?

[LasHappyDaz]

How are they different? Which one is more nurturing? Which one is more competitive? What type of girl would fit either school? in advance.

There is hardly any school more “competitive” than Habs girls 😉

Would you be able to say more about that @7plus11plus?

I've been watching the We are Habs podcast and thought ex Habs pupils come cross very well rounded. The focus seems on trying many different things. I know less about STAHS.

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I don’t know much about STAHS, only know one close friend DD chose Habs over STAHS. We are currently holding Habs 7+ offer and not deciding yet. (Distance concern)

My feeling is Habs is a “pushy” school. You have to be the right kid to fit in. Even when we were touring Habs boys (we also have a DS) the boys there told us they are “not like the girls school”. Although my friends DD really loves her school and has made a lot of friends there.

I don't know STAHS at all but have indirect knowledge of Habs though having friends with children at both the boys and girls schools. Those podcasts are lovely but they are essentially marketing materials for the school so obviously they've presented their very best sides, not to say it's misleading per se, the kids in the videos seem to me fairly typical Habs grads in that they're super-successful, confident, polished... hardly surprising as the schools are obviously highly competitive for entry in the first place and they deliberately select a certain type of child that they think will thrive there - they're after bright, confident, outgoing, ambitious kids, and then grouping lots of those all together in one place creates a very distinct ethos and culture, particularly IMO in the girls school although the boys is not dissimilar. Success (in academics and extra curriculars) is very much expected and pushed for and the kids do tend to be pretty competitive with one another yes (they've often all come from being the brightest/most talented at their prep or primary school and then suddenly are not the big fish in the pond any more which can really spur on that competitiveness in a naturally ambitious child). It's a sort of cycle where success breed success and the kids drive one another on because no-one wants to be the one left behind, but that can be quite difficult for the kids that inevitably end up being more middle/bottom of the pack in a high achieving school like Habs. Plus the very fact that the schools have such a 'rep' in the local area means that as soon as someone outside the school finds out a kid is a 'Habs girl' they do tend to be expected to fit a certain mould which again can a source of real pride and identity or something that's a bit tricky to navigate depending on the child and their personality....

My own personal opinion is that Habs is an absolutely brilliant school for a certain type who really benefits from that type of atmosphere and means they fulfil their potential and achieve way more than they would at a more relaxed or mixed sort of school, but a different type of child that tended to be more anxious or introverted or socially inept (and mine very definitely are the latter), and that perhaps was pushed by parental pressure or a desire for the prestige of Habs rather than it being the best place for them as an individual, would have the potential to absolutely crash and burn - that's not a criticism of Habs and it's not that it's not a 'nurturing' school per se (it's not at all a nasty or toxic environment, in its way its extremely supportive and the kids that do well absolutely love it there), just a fact of life that all kids are different and so there's no single 'best' school universally. We didn't even consider it for ours as they needed, not a more 'nurturing' school as such, more just somewhere they would fit in better and that had more of a mix of personality types...

Thank you @maxelly, that's so helpful. DD is very competitive, very academic and quite sporty and musical (mostly highly academic though). Not too sure about her social skills. What type of girl is happy at Habs in regard to social skills? DD loves to join groups where the focus is on the activity. She is too bored to be chatting with friends on Skype or on a playdate for hours, she'd rather do things if that makes sense.

@maxelly
Thank you so much for your detailed knowledge about Habs. DD is a highly competitive yet tough and resilient child, very sporty. I think Habs will suit her. She is very bored at her current north london prep. But again she’s only 7. We also have other more “relax” choices. It’s a hard decision!

Hmm social wise the 'type' (I don't mean to come across as they're all identikit robots, obviously they're all individuals) is probably bubbly, extroverted, confident sorts. The ones that are 'popular' at school, not necessarily queen bee bossy leader of the clique, as that sort of thing would be squashed pretty quickly at Habs, but more the ones that aren't shy at all, love to chat to anyone/everyone and will fit in with any group? Often they are very sporty and/or just really good all-rounders (the disgusting type that plays 3 different sports to county level, gets distinction in grade 8 flute, volunteers with the homeless at weekends while effortlessly gaining 100 level 9 GCSES and also just being a beautiful kind generous person, hideous, you get me ). To fit in at Habs, they have to be bright and able to keep up academically but not perhaps be the type that obsesses about academics or is 'nerdy' (hate that phrase but you get my drift) and wants to go deep into specific interests to the exclusion of all else . My kids weren't exactly shy/anxious but certainly they preferred one on one/small group or structured type of interactions and quite enjoyed their own company and preferred quiet/reading/computer time built into their days, they were probably academically strong enough for Habs but certainly not sporty and could struggle with friendships at times, I think they'd have been overwhelmed at a Habs-like school (the Habs girls I know are LOUD lol even as adults, you know when they're in a room for sure, lovely but not very 'us' ).

For me if I was thinking of sending a girl in particular to Habs (and as I say we ruled it out early so maybe I'm not the best to comment), we'd have waited until 11 so we had a better idea of their personality and preferences and they were mature enough to 'choose' for themselves, at 4 or even 7 I really think they're still such babies, Habs themselves (and other similar schools) are really good at early identification of their 'type' and rarely get it wrong, so I guess if they make the offer at that age they know what they're doing (and if the child strongly wants to go then I would give that plenty of weight), but I would hate my DD to feel 'trapped' or like a failure if after the junior school the school really wasn't working for her and we needed to move her. Whereas if you chose a different option for prep and then put her in for year 7 entry at 11 (which admittedly is hideously competitive) she'd have the choice then? For others types of girls it's nice if they have the continuity and familiarity of a school that 'runs through' juniors to seniors but if yours is a true 'Habs girl' she'll have no problems making friends in Year 7 at all. Good luck whatever you choose!