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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Sydenham High School: honest views please

27 replies

thethirdcoming · 29/01/2022 13:40

Looking for advice: my DD has been offered a place for Y7.

Based on everything I have seen (tours, talking to former pupils and other informal feedback) it seems really nice, very pastoral etc. Has improved its academic reputation a lot recently and the culture seems to be a good fit for her.

For context my DD is bright (but not absurdly so), leans very much towards humanities/arts, Above average but not stellar at maths/STEM. She is adamant that she doesn't want to be educated with boys and is fairly shy and doesn't do well in large mixed groups, finds them intimidating. My sense is that she would do pretty well with a single sex school like this with a lot of emphasis on pastoral care.

My question is, is it worth the cost really? There are other state single sex schools in the area available which she has a good chance of getting into (clearly much bigger and probably more limited resources but not bad). I can just about afford it but it will be a stretch and may mean the difference between a bigger house or not. I'm fully prepared to do this if it will make a real difference but I don't want to pay for an independent school just for the sake of it IYSWIM.

Any advice welcome.

OP posts:
Original poster
thethirdcoming · 29/01/2022 16:34

Bump. Any views?

OP posts:
Wendlty · 29/01/2022 17:27

Well done to your DD for the offer. My DD also got an offer with an academic scholarship.
Maybe your DD can try the taster mornings(There are few dates on the offer letter) and have a good feel for the school and see how she gets on with the other girls?
Also since the deadline for acceptance comes after state schools outcome, maybe you can make a decision on the allocated state school v/s Sydenham.

Original poster
thethirdcoming · 30/01/2022 10:55

@Wendlty

Thank you and congrats to your DD too! I will sign up for one of the taster sessions. I'm not really in any doubt that I like the school: both DD and I have a great feeling about it. The question is really whether its worth the cost. I'm a lone parent and while I am lucky enough to have a decent salary it will be a lot of pressure on me.

OP posts:
Luna9 · 30/01/2022 20:04

It is a good school and I know people with daughters there who are happy. However it is a big financial commitment and you should think twice if it is going to be a stretch. Fees increase every year and there are other costs like trips, uniforms, etc.

Your daughter may also feel less/different if she is surrounded by other pupils that can afford latest fashion, techology and holidays overseas every school break.

Also, small girls schools could be tricky in terms of friendships.

Luna9 · 30/01/2022 20:24

Also, what do you mean by a real difference? Better jobs? Better University places? I wouldn’t think so.

I think when you pay for independent most of the time is for a better learning experience: smaller classes, less disruption, better extra curricular activities, in general a good learning atmosphere.

It depends a lot on your daughter if she wants to do well or not, whether she is ambitious and persistent.

You do not want to put pressure on your daughter that because you are making all those sacrifices to send her private she needs to a achieve what is beyond her capabilities.

Stopsnowing · 30/01/2022 21:28

What are your state options?

Original poster
thethirdcoming · 30/01/2022 21:44

There's a local girls comp which is fine and for which we're in catchment: by all accounts on an improving trend though historically below national average exam results and very big. Most of her peers will go there and had she not been offered a place at Sydenham High I would have been satisfied with this. But I feel fairly sure she would do better at Sydenham High: I think she'd really benefit from the pastoral care and the more intimate size. Most of the other state options for which we are in catchment are underwhelming. There's one local massively sought-after state secondary (Kingsdale) which she almost certainly won't get into.

OP posts:
Cosmos123 · 30/01/2022 22:04

If money is really no option select Sydenham High.
Otherwise be sensible to chose the other girl's school and use the money to fund extra curricular activities,
Holidays and tutors. We work out much cheaper and she will do fine.

Cosmos123 · 30/01/2022 22:05

*will

Cosmos123 · 30/01/2022 22:11

Your daughter will grow and get more independent.
The vulnerability of a year 6 will soon disappear and she not likely to need this pastoral care.

I think the parents worry more about pastoral care but the kids usually grow up without the need for it.

Besides state schools also have pastoral care should it be required.

blyn72 · 30/01/2022 22:21

This interests me because I went to Sydenham High many, many years ago. I had a free place. It was highly academic, I'm sure it still is. However I am somewhat out of touch so will just watch and read this thread.

Stopsnowing · 30/01/2022 22:22

Effectively your realistic option is Sydenham girls? If so, it is ok but not outstanding.

Luredbyapomegranate · 30/01/2022 22:22

If your state choice is a school that’s under average, and huge (and she’s shy) then I’d bite the bullet and pay if you can. She should be able to transfer to a good state at 16, and knowing you!ve done all you can is likely to give you more peace than a bigger house.

No chance you could get her into one of the Bromley grammars?

Original poster
thethirdcoming · 31/01/2022 09:17

@Stopsnowing

Correct, the state Sydenham girls As you say it’s fine but think that’s about the best that can be said about it. I think she would be fine there but it doesn’t feel like a school that would really inspire a child to be their absolute best self.

OP posts:
Original poster
thethirdcoming · 31/01/2022 09:22

@Luredbyapomegranate

Thanks. No we definitely couldn’t get into a Bromley grammar.

My strong instinct at the moment is to bite the bullet and cough up. It feels like somewhere she would be really happy. But it’s always hard to know if the difference is really worth the (astronomical) cost. Thanks for the views.

OP posts:
minisnowballs · 31/01/2022 10:01

No school is perfect, but I hope my daughters are being inspired to be their absolute best selves by the 'fine' and 'not outstanding' Sydenham comprehensive girls school. The older one debates in the team that won the national Debatemate championships - it has done wonders for her confidence. The younger one is in the national youth choir and national children's orchestra and is inspired and supported by the music teachers she has at the school, and also loves her history club, debating and latin classes. Both are predicted fantastic results (as long as they work), and the older teens I know who have been through the school have variously had offers from oxbridge and just graduated in medicine. So much of secondary school is about support at home. and we're generally happy with what the school offers (no school is perfect, especially at the tail end of a pandemic), and the way our daughters in Year 10 and 8 have developed.

That aside, I do know Syd high. Lots of my friends' children are happy there and I think the small size is nice. The last drama production my dd watched her friend in there was very good, and I think they offer different sport and a wider selection of musical instrument lessons than the state option. The leavers' destinations were not really any different from the state school (less oxbridge, but a smaller school of course). Good luck with your choice.

Original poster
thethirdcoming · 31/01/2022 12:12

@minisnowballs

I hear you and I didn't mean to suggest that Sydenham School is not a good school. I do feel fairly confident that she would do fine there, which is why its such a difficult decision.

OP posts:
minisnowballs · 31/01/2022 12:31

@thethirdcoming I completely understand, and it's a big decision! Most comprehensives are what you make of them (probably private schools are too) - with you taking such an interest I'm sure your child will thrive wherever they are.

gogohm · 31/01/2022 12:36

Whether it's worth the cost is subjective. A clever motivated child does well everywhere. Being the poor kid in a fee paying school is not easy. I know kids who did great in independent schools and those who hated it. My dd2 was boarding for 6th form and it worked out great for her (state until then) the state school system was better for her when she was younger as it's more diverse

generaljake · 31/01/2022 12:51

For what it's worth, my daughter is at Sydenham Girls. I am not sure whether she is being inspired to be her 'best self' (which sounds slightly exhausting but that probably says a lot more about me than her.)

She is learning to mix with lots of people, she's realising that academic achievement is heavily dependent on her own efforts, she is hopefully seeing that this is not the only definition of success.

I know choice of secondary school is an anxious decision but I do agree with others that there are many factors influencing how people's lives turn out, of which school is just one.

I also know people who've sent their kids to Sydenham High - they have been disappointed by the academic results but I think there was a slight sense that they thought having paid for the education, high achievement would naturally follow. You are obviously not thinking like that but again, for what it's worth, I think they would also have called it 'fine.'

One thing I would say is that when there is another option, when you encounter problems at school (which are inevitable) then it can make you question your decision. I guess what I mean is that if your instinct is that SH would be 'better,' perhaps it's worth giving it a go from the start, as it will remain a nagging doubt.

minisnowballs · 31/01/2022 14:00

Ha generaljake. DD2 was definitely not being her 'best self' this morning (she was exceptionally grumpy) - but neither am I on a monday am.

vcfromhk · 26/08/2022 08:49

Hi, my daughter also got through Sydenham high and also has other option as Kingsdale foundation. I'm in the same spot and not sure what to do.

AnnaPurna88 · 21/03/2023 16:38

Hi, I've found it so hard to find out anything about how the academic scholarship works and am really keen to arm myself with the facts before talking this through with my husband so I wonder if I could ask you please...
Do you happen to know how much the academic scholarship is?
Is it always the same amount?
And how much is it in terms of £ or % of fees, please?
And do they hand out the same amount of academic scholarships each year? and do you know how many there are?
Any info VERY gratefully received, thank you very much!

BadgerFace · 27/03/2023 18:36

The scholarships are only 5% or 10% so not as good as in my day when we had up to 40%!

There are enrichment programs specific to the scholars which sound great. I’m not sure how many are given a year but if you email the admissions office I am sure they will tell you.

BusyMama11 · 28/03/2023 15:40

It says on the website that scholarships can be up to 20% and you can apply for all of them so I guess, in theory, you could rack up a decent amount of financial support! Though it doesn't say how many are offered in total for any of the scholarships offered - I suppose not too many or it would lose its prestige somewhat?! Agree with BadgerFace that the Admissions team should be able to shed more light.