Year 8 - autism support

[Biscuitsgalore18]

Hello,

My 12 year old year 8 has dyslexia and autism.
She is at an independent school so has small class sizes, she has 1-1 once a week where she looks at managing her emotions.
She is stuggling with friendships at school, they all seem to think she is a bit 'weird' they think she cries too much (she does!! At least a 4 times a week when she gets overwhelmed).
She is very diligent and wants to do well, so will become highly stressed around any tests.
Support she ready has in place:
-1-1 for emotions
-only does one language, extra maths and english support in available slot
-small class sizes
-sits exams/tests in room on her own (with teacher)
-allowed to fidget/rock in class

Some extra things school have suggested:
-not doing homework for some lessons to cut down her sense of feeling overwhelmed
-dropping the langauge and having chill out time in learning support department

Thing is i am worried about her drifting further from friendships as differences become apparent. But she is crying a lot/having panic attacks at school. This seems to happen around any tests and during break games, says the girls are really touchy (linking arms etc) and it makes her feel uncomfortable.

What support do other teens with autism have at school which helps?

Any advice much appreciated.

Thank you

Do the other girls know about her autism? I wonder whether they would be more tolerant and helpful to her if they had a better understanding of the things she finds difficult.

You may get more responses if you ask MNHQ to move your thread to the SN boards.

Have you considered applying for an EHCP?
Has DD had sensory OT and SALT assessments?
Do the school have a counsellor?

Other things that may help:
A wobble cushion
A time out card so DD can leave the room when overwhelmed
Avoiding the hustle and bustle by moving lessons 5 mins early may help DD not be quite so overwhelmed.
Think about placement in classroom - back/front/side/on own/near window/near door.
Fidget toys
Ear defenders or noise cancelling headphones.
Prior warning of content in lesson/pre-teaching if helpful/copy of notes
Quiet room at lunch/break
Social skills support
Use of laptop if writing increases stress
More 1:1 (although without an EHCP independent schools often charge extra for this)

@lanthanum that's a good point. They don't know she has autism. Maybe its time for her to tell them, so they understand her and hopefully will stop judging her for crying.

@Imitatingdory thank you. Yes the educational psychologist suggested a time out card too but its never been implemented, so I will speak to the school. Leaving class 5 mins early I think will help too.

If she were up for it, then a sensitively done PSE session on autism, highlighting some of things that affect her particularly, might be helpful. It's something that can only be done if she's happy to be open about it, though.

It does sound as if much of her problem is the social side - perhaps too many people at once, or unwanted physical contact - and if the others know to avoid that, it will help. They may well have seen her fidgeting/rocking as well as the tears; having it explained may make her seem less "weird".

Tbh getting anti-anxiety medication was the key to sorting dd's schooling out. It's gone from unmanageable to tolerable for her.

I would second anxiety meds even at a very low dose and only on school days. It does help them. It sounds like she has a great set up tbh. However I would look into getting an EHCP just to make sure this provision is future proof for her.

In terms out time out cards, leaving early etc, you do need to balance her wanting to look 'normal' and her needs. My DD is in Y9, has DLD not autism but it's quite similar in terms of responses to being overwhelmed. She gets very overwhelmed by lots of instructions as her receptive language is effected. Time out card did help, but she had some raised eyebrows from the other kids. We ended up switching it to a toilet pass as it looked more normal and she didn't have the kids questioning her. The senco was very understanding and although normally given to kids with Crohn's etc, she was given one anyway.
We also ended up switching her from having interventions during lessons which made her miss them and become overwhelmed with missed topics, to them being scattered in tutor time. So now she has 4x 1:1 30mins English and maths sessions in tutor and joins her year group for assembly the 5th day. We've decided to just do speech and lang on the weekends as it was too much at school.
It has helped tremendously and after a rocky Y8 she has a great group of friends and is much happier.