Y10 moving schools - Pros and cons (advice from high school staff really appreciated!)

[JoyOrbison]

Hi

I' try to make this brief but if I miss anything important and you feel you xan offer goid advice I will try to add info...

Dc Y10 in selective grammar - got in without any tuition or pushing from us, happy to go, alternative was dire, dire comp with significant issues.

Dc not very confident, this has worsened in social side and grades. Dc grades are nose diving, they have said they are very unhappy, always on periphary of friendship groups, I xan count on one hand number of times they have met up with 'friends' out of school, arranged if dc pushes anything, but now doesn't bother as no one takes them up on it, yet events meet ups arranged and dc not included. Dc now worried really obvious they are being left out, so doesn't want to ask people to do things as it gets knocked back, all feeds on to each other but dc grades dropping so the very very bright pupils aren't interested in hanging out withnthem.

Prrv cahms involvement, school have offered minimal support when camhs had to be involved / while in waiting oust but that support dwindled off after a few weeks. It took a year to get cahms support, they do not check in with dc t and they have not been in contact Re dc plummeting grades, to be honest I don't think they are bothered and have written dc off as they won't contribute to their reputation as an outstanding school.

I have prev moved a different dc so have handled a move (completely unrelated), dc is aware of us looking into this and exploring options.

Current school dies 3 year gcse so will poss have covered ample ground if a new school does 2 year gcse,

Would need to check same exa. Boards

Am I crazy for considering this? Are there truly obvious issues I am missing?

Thanks

I would consider his happiness as the priority. But, having a DS with a similar lack of friends, will he make more if he moves?

That said, once DS moved to 6th form college it has been so different. He has friends. He meets up with friends. It’s amazing.

It will be very very hard to move mid-year in Y10. Think the chances of another school being able to match GCSE options with the same exam boards and modules would be slim and for your DC to catch up with any different modules in multiple subjects would be very hard.

Not impossible and worth sounding out any schools that you are interested in.

Honestly? I'd look to build friendship opportunities outside of school, but leave him where he is. I imagine that for a GS, many classmates live quite distant, and it's hard for them to get together outside of school.
What is going on in your home area that he could get involved in? Scouts, cadets, environmental volunteers, running club, basketball, hockey, rugby, etc etc. Maybe even a very PT job, if it's a place where lots of other young people work (e.g. cafe, mcds, etc).
Y10 have missed quite a bit of school, have missed lots of formal assessment opportunities- keeping his school the same will allow the strategies his school is putting in place for mitigation from the pandemic to kick in. If he goes elsewhere, different parts of the curriculum could have been missed, different topics targeted for catch-up sessions etc, which means he may find that come his exams there are whole topics he's never been taught.

I do understand how it feels to see your child struggle- my youngest really struggles socially, and I know how it feels when they tell you no-one has spoken to them all lunchtime, and they stood by themselves

I just think that it's possibly going to do more harm than good moving him at present. He'll be able to go elsewhere once he has his GCSEs.

It’s a risky decision because of the impact on his GCSEs, so you’ve got to weight up which is the bigger risk - him moving to a new school and therefore not doing well in GCSEs, or his unhappiness in current school. Although from what you’ve said he’s so unhappy in current school it’s impacting his grades so you might not have anything to lose?

I think you’d have to be willing to pay for tutoring and work with him to catch him up, ideally do it now so he can start in Jan and he’d have to be willing to work hard. You’d also have to accept he might not get the options he originally picked.

You also need to bear in mind that a lot of schools may just flatly refuse a mid Y10 move so it might be a non starter anyway.

It's not just whether they offer the right subjects with the right boards, but whether they have taught the same units/topics and whether they can fit your DCs options into their timetable.

I can only see it having a major impact on his GCSEs.

Agree with PP, can you sort out some activities to help make friends outside of school?

Thanks everyone for replies

I need to chat to possible alternative schools Re exam boards, options, units, and weigh up what it is likely dc will have missed!/ not catch up on.

Re things out of school, starting to be a vicious circle, tries, ends up on edges of groups, comes away without any progress.

I need a school to say whether it is doable or not to then know where to focus my efforts and dc.

The trouble is no school does the same boards across all the subjects so the chances of finding a school doing exactly the same combination is unlikely. We moved one of ours in year 10 but it's a few years ago & only the sciences were 3 years then, it was when they took the modules early as well, so they had to catch up with some exams (it was a different board). Other than that they had to change their options slightly due to classes being too full, but it is different now that they do 3 year GCSE courses.

OP as others say, it is more than simply does the possible new school do the same exam boards. There is also the issue of what order they have done the Eng lit texts, what topics they have chosen for history, what order they have done MFL topics - you get the picture I am sure.

If you do move, your DC may end up taking fewer GCSEs. This is not a disaster as such, especially if they are happier overall.

I would think a bit though about why this keeps happening - at school they are marginalised, at extra curricular as well. I am not blaming your DC at all but if I were you, I would also be looking at multiple strategies to try to stop this vicious circle, as you describe it, from continuing in a new school. If you can stop it and make this a positive move for your DC that would be great.

My DD was extremely unhappy at her academic school we were delighted she got into. I wasn’t aware of at the time of such severe bullying that was happening. Feel awful now. I thought dd was just overreacting and silly girls drama was taking place. She had it in her head she wanted to go to a particular school (not so academic and selfishly where I had dreamed of her going!). We agreed reluctantly in the December of year 10 to visit the school, primarily to appease her. The head said joining a term into year 10 can be disastrous as joining friendship groups at that point can be extremely hard, and that she can have a place for 6th form. She was intent on joining and reluctantly , I agreed. The GCSE options didn’t match, all different boards, they didn’t do Latin which she was excellent at. It all sounded pretty horrendous for me academically and also the chance of her maybe not finding friends. All I can say, is it was the best decision of ours to let her go. Yes, the school wasn’t as ‘prestigious’ as her original one, however she made friends that hopefully will be for a long time. She smiled every day going in, I had never experienced my DD to actually enjoy school! So there are risks, but looking back when my kids did the 11+, I embarrassingly put such focus on the league tables and how proud I was that they got into said schools. Looking back, I so wish I had paid more intention to the general vibe of the school, and also unfortunately realised earlier that the silly girl drama (that was never even picked up by staff) was more severe than petty arguments. Anyway, I would do what you feel is best for your DC. I often wondered if she stayed , would she have done better in her gcse/ a levels. Maybe? But I would much prefer a happy child with slightly lower grades than a miserable child with straight A’s

I wouldn't move a happy child in year 10 but I would definitely consider it in your shoes. The gcses etc might require a bit of wrangling (and even giving up a couple of subjects) but your DC is unlikely to get stellar marks at the moment anyway given their deep unhappiness and "nosediving" grades.

The other things I would ask myself though is whether you think the social problems are just bad luck with your child's cohort (which they very well might be) or if there are deeper social skill issues at play. If it is the second, a move might not do anything.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the replies, they are all a huge help. Working at moment so will reread this evening.

I think you need to identify why his grades are plummeting. You say he struggles socially in and out of school so unless you identify the problem, it will likely be repeated in a new school.

Things to establish are:

Is there bullying?
Can ds identify what causes his peers to reject him socially?
Does ds need an ASD assessment?
Is he struggling with the pressure school are putting on?
What is his learning environment like?

He sounds similar to my ds who ended up at an underperforming comp. His school has tonnes of kids with social difficulties and therefore has lots of support available. My ds has ASD and his school helped him find friends and let him sit exams in a separate room (he finds smells, lights, noises unbearable when he is trying to concentrate). My ds finds school easy so he reads up about stuff at the weekend. He also doesn't listen to the teachers explanation of Maths to try and make lessons a bit less easy

However, when the environment isn't right for him, he literally falls apart in the spot. He is also on sertraline to enable him to cope with his anxiety.

Hi, good questions,

Dc anxious, under camhs, brittle politeness, anxiousness to point would rather walk home than catch a bus as bus driver couldn't hear them say where they wanted to go and they felt everyone was looking at them, they don't have the gregarious nature of more confident peers, extremely caring and others might find that a bit to twee, for want of a better word.

I think the nature of the school means they are working with 9 / 9* pupils who are either naturally extremely bright or are being tutored heavily to get most out of their time at school.

We don't push dc in any way like this, we just were pleased they got in without tuition as gave access to a better learning environment, much better behaviour etc, but dc I think is aware they don't measure up to peer achievements, and their peers aren't interested in someone who isn't as driven and high achieving as them.

afewtoomanychoices it's lively to hear things worked out well for your dc. I need to speak to possible other school to see how gsce options would compare and possibly be facilitated.

The current school prides itself on achievements and I don't think holistic or pastoral care is a priority. They are used to dealing with students that feel overwhelmed due to the study and expectations from home, but for such as dc where they are really feeling lost, as there are no high grades at risk I don't think the care is there.