Year 7 what's app group

[MarysEasyCooking]

Does your Y7 ds or dd have a form WA group? We all know that WA is 16+ but all the kids are using it to stay in touch and not being on WA means you're left out. We don't allow TT or any of the other social media apps but WA is very tricky to deny.

Ds goes to a good secondary with generally very good behaviour and happy kids but OMG, the WA group .

Swearing, rudeness, and some borderline explicit gifs and videos being shared.

Do most parents keep an eye on their dc communications? We do spot checks every few day, which ds knows about and he has been very good not to get drawn into the spamming and rudeness but answers or ask the occasional homework and after school club question.

DD has a class one and a whole year one. I keep half an eye on both - the class one is absolutely fine, lots of homework, pe kit, school questions and a bit of chat.

The whole year 7 one isn't great, but DD barely looks at it as it seems to be mainly girls from other classes and it moves so fast (and is mostly completely incomprehensible) that she can't be bothered. I might suggest she comes off it actually as I have heard plenty of stories about these things imploding.

Yes - tutor group WhatsApp, so 30 kids all in same year

I keep an eye, but they all seem incredibly sensible... not even swearing.

WhatsApp is officially 13+ iirc. The one I'm less keen on is SnapChat - mainly because I can't keep an eye on that.

My DD Y7 is on several WhatsApp groups. I don't allow Instagram or other social media but I think WA is useful for making arrangements etc. I do check some.messages on it from time to time.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow

Yes - tutor group WhatsApp, so 30 kids all in same year

I keep an eye, but they all seem incredibly sensible... not even swearing.

WhatsApp is officially 13+ iirc. The one I'm less keen on is SnapChat - mainly because I can't keep an eye on that.

WhatsApp used to have a minimum age of 13 but it was increased to 16 a few years ago!

My yr 7 uses it. We also check her phone regularly.
I would probably ignore any basic swearing. Explicit stuff would be a different matter.
I actually removed her from one chat group because it was getting a bit much and was all a bit inappropriate and weird.
She knows and understands my limits and would feel very uncomfortable with that kind of stuff herself.
She goes to an all girls school though and I think that does change the dynamic of what gets posted.

No. Year 8 DS is not allowed WhatsApp, and never has been. There have been far, far too many incidents of really foul language, sexual comments and general nastiness for me to change my mind.

Yes - it's just a messaging app like anything else - it's sad to keep your children away from chatting to their friends if it's too much they can mute or remove themselves but it's all part of learning how to self regulate phone use / being on / replying lots etc

I would keep open communication with your pre teen about any kind of messaging - in person social media etc and help them
To reguLatw what they connect it and with your own way to support your child

@knackeredmumoftwo

Yes - it's just a messaging app like anything else - it's sad to keep your children away from chatting to their friends if it's too much they can mute or remove themselves but it's all part of learning how to self regulate phone use / being on / replying lots etc

I would keep open communication with your pre teen about any kind of messaging - in person social media etc and help them
To reguLatw what they connect it and with your own way to support your child

My feeling is that if you are in a group chat and someone posts unkind/abusive/bitching/whatever comments, unless you stand up and tell them you think it’s unacceptable you are complicit. Doing that is hard enough as an adult, never mind an 11 year old, so I’m taking that out of the equation for my DS. He finds social situations hard enough, without having to navigate things like this when he gets home from school.

I have a DD - we've had to manage our way though some grim stuff in years 7/8 but now she's older she's had to learn how to deal with it - I get it totally why you would choose to not allow it but at the same time if the group are meeting at X on Saturday then I felt bad if she didn't know or was included in the meet up - it's a minefield.

I just think open conversations about it makes them feel about it all can help them to learn to stand up to bullying or take themselves off from it if they need to

I mean WhatsApp isn’t really any different to sending a text message? And I think if everything goes through the group it’s a shame for one person to be left out. Obviously inappropriate messages can be an issue, but that can happen on any medium. And better to allow it and support, than ban things and they do it behind your back.

Wow, some naive comments on here. It's not like sms as you have groups. You share your phone number on there. Anyone who knows your phone number can add you to any group they like. If you're in a group, they will all learn your phone number. That's how it works. Convenient for adults, dangerous for children without respect for someone's privacy. We don't let our children use it as it's not for under 16s. Yes they ask, we say no.

Certainly not naive and sms used to (may still) allow groups. You can also control if / how your number is displayed in privacy settings on WhatsApp. My dc are older than op’s and I confidently feel we have navigated this stuff successfully.

All the Yr7 I know have it. Most Yr6 have it. It's how they organise their lives. Can't imagine them not having it. Big groups tend to be a nightmare tho. My DD came off most.
Several parents check them too in case they go out of hand.
But they need to learn all these lessons

IME year7 with no WApp would miss out on a lot of stuff.

Mine don't have it. I've seen many kids get in trouble with school for comments. My kids manage fine without it and certainly does not affect them negatively. If they want to message their friends they do it privately.

My DC have numerous small group WAps. One for organising walking to school & back, one for meet ups, several with friends from extra curricular clubs / sports clubs.
They were on some big groups but came off them as those were the ones that got stupid / kids with no parent monitoring them posting inappropriate stuff.
The issues always came from the same kids who have no parents checking and who are allowed the most freedom to hang out at night / stay up past midnight mid week / game all night etc

If you want to see swearing, bitchiness and general abuse the parents' WhatsApp groups are by far the worse IME