Charterhouse vs Downe House vs Haileybury for Sixth Form 2022

[mumsie168]

Hi all, would much appreciate local color and opinion on Charterhouse vs Downe House vs Haileybury for DD for Sixth Form 2022.

DH and I realize the above schools are different, but most of what we know of them is based on school information, videos and not as much from locals/those who have already have children in the schools.

would much appreciate any mum/dad who can share your unbiased thoughts/experience as to academic, pastoral care, safety for girls, what is school "culture", how is school regarded anecdotally in UK.

much thanks in advance!

• * [Edited by MNHQ to remove personal info] **

Does your DC want to do A levels or the IB?

@TheOccupier DC prefers IB as also looking towards US unis but is open to A levels if the overall school choice warrants it.

Your DD needs to be sparky and able to hold her own if she is looking at Charterhouse.

@Franklin12 thank you for the reply, yep DD not a wallflower but could you kindly elaborate a bit more on the 'sparky' bit, why so re CH, is that the academic or the social side? Heard CH not as flash as Wellington so curious on that one.

So we had offers from both Wellington and CH in the days of Anthony Seldon. Seldon made Wellington a go to school but everyone knew he wouldn’t be there forever so we choose CH. I have seen girls from the Far East who get quite overwhelmed with the British ways at CH.The academic side is great and I am sure that your DD would be fine but she would need to be able to hold her own socially. A lot of the girls I saw kept themselves to themselves or kept to other girls from Asia which was IMHO a great shame. DS left last year.

@Franklin12 Ah got it. Yes quite agree part of expanding DD's education footprint is to hopefully learn from a diversified set of friends (albeit those all mums/dads of any culture would like :) That said, coming from someone very familiar with American ways, may I ignorantly ask what 'British ways at CH' for example might those girls from the Far East you believe could have found overwhelming? thank you for colloquial samples would be quite helpful.

@theoccupier thanks for earlier post, any opinions you can share of these schools would be much appreciated as well.

If you like the IB Hockerill in Bishops Stortford is worth a look, it is a top performing state boarding school near Haileybury. Don’t be put off that its state, academically far superior to all the independents including Haileybury and most parents around here would sell a kidney to get their kids in there. A real mix of local and international students.

On the general question of joining in and mixing: I have seen what can happen with Asian girls at another school. I suspect the three mentioned won’t be any different. Please don’t think I am being rude but it’s mostly a question of who wants to join in and who prefers not to.

I have seen girls who are very pressurised to succeed. More than British ones quite often. Their parents are paying a lot of money for the British school and the girls don’t want to be a “failure”. This might be not getting into Oxbridge or not getting A* at Further Maths. What can happen is that the girls work very very hard to avoid displeasing their parents. They can be reluctant to join in with other activities and find like minded girls from their own country. Of course it’s easier to speak to them and they understand each other and the culture they come from. It’s totally understandable. I have found these girls to be in the majority, and will be friends with each other, but making friends with others isn’t their priority.

Other DC from Asia take a different view and enjoy a wider social life. They might talk about fashion, music etc and bs open to embracing the UK and it’s ways! My DDs have long lasting school friendships from the latter group but girls in the former group simply did not want to mix.

I therefore don’t think anyone does anything wrong. I know where my DDs went to school, everyone was welcoming and friendly. They wanted new girls to be happy. However if the new girls wanted to work all hours and sit in their rooms, it’s difficult to see what more can be done. It’s mostly down to personality.

I have no doubt that these schools will be welcoming but your DD would be best advised to speak English as much as possible and make sure she has a balance between work and socialising. Also be prepared to be friends with a variety of girls. Then she will thrive.

Tiz. You put it much better than I did. My DS had a girl in his year who was under pressure to succeed and get A* at everything. Parents weren’t interested in anything else. The only time I spoke to them was when they wanted DS to help their daughter with Maths which was his thing. They asked me very directly and rather abruptly. When I suggested something a bit more relaxed they weren’t interested.

I think the question is what "enjoying a wider social life" means more specifically. Are you talking about taking part in sports and activities, or (which I suspect from the vague answers), getting drunk, sneaking out to parties, smoking, taking drugs? How "cool and sociable" do you need to be to fit in at CH?

@Franklin12 cant do much about the stereotypical tiger mums, hopefully their kids are still the better for it. Did your DS find partying to be a big social thing in CH?

Socialising means different things to different people. For some it is partying and drinking, for some it is chatting to friends in a room.

It is hard for older students to join a new school in a new country whatever the background. It is just hard to join already established friendship groups. You will always find people who have more in common stick together, it is human nature. It happens with local students too. It takes a lot to "launch" yourself when you are in a new environment 24/7, probably homesick as well.

The Asian girls are not a homogeneous block, they are probably from different countries and cultures and speak different languages. So they are mixing and socialising, and I am sure most have other interests. They have Western music, TV shows and movies in Asia too, as well as the Asian ones . The reason why they don't mix with the locals could be because they don't want to or don't know how to break into their social circle, or they are just happy with their own circles. I don't know if the schools do anything to encourage the students to get to know each other. Left to their own teenagers are not the most considerate bunch (or any nationality).

The education system in Asia is just different to the one here, so the tiger parents by UK standard are just normal over there. Although I think the London/South East 11+ is just as brutal if not more.

From what I have seen, most schools have activities for the new 6th form students to get to know existing ones. Of course new 6th formers are not all international either. In fact one issue can be that new international 6th formers are wary of those already at the school from their country. There can almost be a social divide snd yet they are the same nationality. The existing girls not necessarily agreeing that the new ones speak their own language and don’t make an effort to make friends. They have tried and have made friends. They try and explain how joining in with school activities can be a good thing. I’m not talking about parties, drugs and alcohol. I’m talking about activities at boarding schools where pupils get to know each other and where most pupils are perfectly decent human beings.

We never met any parent from an Asian country. The girls went to guardians. The parents didn’t come for speech day or anything else. These girls were very much on their own. Some were “tiger” parents no doubt but I would say not all. Some girls were more relaxed about school. I would say the school trumpeted their A level results though.

Thank you all for your comments. Id agree with @wydlondon and @TizerorFizz, diversity amongst Asians is such as diversity amongst Europeans, barring inherent cultural differences, it really will boil down to the girls. Cant imagine being back to being a teen myself, with social media nowadays a significant presence.

@mumsie168
Yes. You are correct. It’s down to the girls. We are using the shorthand term “Asian” but of course language tends to determine friendships. However everyone speaks English and therefore can find friends. I hope your DD thrives wherever she goes.,

For what it’s worth, Downe House is very different to Haileybury. I really don’t know Charterhouse. It might come down to whether you want all girls or not.

the above discussion is very informative. Do you have any idea the percentage of Asian sixth former ? Thanks