Abingdon vs MCS or somewhere else?

[SeniorSchoolShuffle]

DS is reasonably bright and we are thinking of the Abingdon or MCS for senior school. His combined CAT score is 127 in year 5. He has high functioning ASD but doesn't need any additional help beyond a caring staff that can help with pastoral care.

I would ask how other ASD boys have faired at the school, and how they intend to support your ds.

ime, many asd kids do not cope with a large secondary schools, and end up moving from school to school.
both MCS and AB are good schools.

His current prep is 300 so not small. MCS and Abingdon Senior both seem roughly the same size. I'm not sure where else in the area would be smaller for senior school?

Up front: MCS and Ab are both great schools.

We have a similar ds and ruled out MCS & Abingdon. He is at a selective prep but not the top of the pile there, standardised scores range 110-130 depending on the day (!!) . He also has no special extra 1:1 or similar but benefits from teachers knowing him and strong pastoral care.
Our son is sensitive and quite anxious so the highly pressured academic environment where A* is the expected goal for everyone in every subject may not be good for his mental well-being. Your ds may be different though.
MCS - visited, met SENCO etc. Our prep said he could get in but would struggle with the pressure and size of the school. Might get disheartened. We agreed.
Abingdon - when we visited we felt the admissions team were trying to put us off (not the case anywhere else we have been). Great school for most bright ds’, especially if sporty , but we felt it was far too big for ds. With bus journey would have been v long day as well.

What are your other options? I would research
St edwards (results less good than the above schools BUT as good as many grammars and so much value added, SENCO is new and her dept is expanding at the moment, pastoral care strong). Much smaller (700)
D’overbroecks - highly supportive , tiny (200)
Bloxham - supportive, results very good (they gave me copies when I asked), facilities good, 450 pupils
Cokethorpe - less familiar to me but I know a colleague with dc there, one with ASD who speaks highly of the support

Depending where you are you could think about pangbourne, shiplake, bradfield college (don’t know that one), Leighton park

DS1 registered for st edwards and bloxham at the moment.

Good luck!

@ChocolateHoneycomb How big is the prep your son is currently at if you don't mind me asking? Abingdon have a shocking reputation for SEN. It appears to be sink or swim. We know someone with an autistic son at the senior school and he's had no support from anyone and zero contact from the SENCO even to check he's ok. That said it sits in a nice spot of academic but not too pushy. I don't know if DS would cope with the pressure at MCS. He's reasonably independent. I don't check his homework even now and he manages to get almost all of it in and done to a decent standard.

St. edwards seemed like most a boarding school? I'd be worried about the social side. I've heard good things about DO and it's on the list. Cokethorpe I didn't rate. It's just not academic enough. They seem to take all the DC who get kicked out of everywhere else and the academics just aren't robust enough.

Are you def not up for boarding? Radley can be a nurturing and very inclusive school. very £££ though.

My ASD dd weekly boarded, and full boarded during lockdown. Obvs not at Radley .

How would ds cope moving around sites at DO? If you reckon he'd be ok, then I would def look into there.
What about OLA? They seem to handle 'quirky' dc pretty well there?? Not as well known for academics, but I think the main thing should be eating a school were he can feel settled. If the school isn't right, then he won't do well. iynwim.

@SeniorSchoolShuffle prep has just under 200.
We definitely got the feel at Abingdon that they really don’t want anyone with ‘problems’ and who might not keep up with the crowd.

St edwards (teddies) is primarily boarding, you can do day and the day pupils are well integrated. 15% day I think they said, another 30% live within 45mins drive of the school but chose to board. These days about 1/2-2/3 go home at weekends. The positive side of boarding set up is that dc with ASD usually like the structure, they support with homework and if you weekly board or similar it reduces travel stress. The range of options there is fantastic.

Visit d’overbroecks. Know two people with dc there, both moved there when hot house schools didn’t workout. I thought we would really like it and were disappointed. The fees are high for no real facilities, limited range of choices, lots of moving locations to use other schools/colleges/university premises. Very supportive though and the smallness is appealing, not sure how realistic for the ‘real world’ in terms of size. Sixth form is basically separate, 50% international and 2/3 boarding. Downside of another change at 16 for us is huge.

I really wouldn't consider boarding for DS. His cousins board one of which has ASD and it has been a nightmare. DS is loathe to talk about his emotions or anything difficult. I can't imagine trying to unpick what's happening at boarding school. I think living inside shared room would also be very stressful for him. He currently has a huge room all to himself and having his stuff around him is important to him. Also, I'd miss him!

His cousin was placed in a boarding school with broad curriculum and little pressure and she's really underperformed. DS will float to the level around him and DH reckons we try a more academic school and if it doesn't work we step down as you can always go down but not up in terms of academic results. Last year DS was in the most able and 'stretch' math set doing really well. This year the teacher gave them a choice of doing whichever set sheet they wanted so easy, medium, hard and DS chose easy every single time. I had to point this out to the teacher to get it sorted. He was working way below what he was capable of.

I'm just not sure and feel like he's still so young. I don't want him to feel pressure but nor do I want him to sit on his bum.

Reviving this as I'm in a school conundrum and considering a lot of schools on the list above- minefield, stressful and can't find something 'right'. Loved the ethos at d'overbroecks but as someone said it is so small and no facilities and then all change at 6th!

You need to see the 7-11 site at D’overbroecks as base camp-they launch from here to different places but the classrooms are a good size and Oxford is on the doorstep all matches are away, play times spent anywhere in school building or playground which is small but do you ever see MCS pupils playing in their grounds? Pupils don’t care about this! The recent ISI is excellent across the board & the majority move to Sixth Form so yes different campus but with friends- 25% of Sixth Form is from 7-11.
If you don’t want boarding then it’s your best day option.
My friend has just started teaching there so has explained how it all works. She absolutely loves it.