Distance for weekly boarding

[Fudgeball123]

We are looking for a year 9+ school for DD.

We are what Mumsnet users seem to call non posh rural. How far is sensible to sign up for weekly boarding?

We have the choice of weekly boarding (according to google maps):
school #1 42 miles (1hr 10 mins)
or
school #2 49 miles (1hr 20 mins)

Our current prep school is 35 mins and the children have a return bus from 50m from our house so its absolutely fab. When I do have to drive to the prep school (2-3 times per week to accommodate after school activities) I don't mind driving the 35 mins.
School #1 is single sex and hence no good for DC2. It feels like a long drive but better than School #2 which takes more like 1.5 hours and is 1 hour from the prep school. We will have 3 years with DC2 still at the prep school but DC1 at the senior school. School#1 is the opposite direction to School#2 but School#2 is a 'better' school.

How far can people cope with driving for 5 years of weekly boarding? Or am I better choosing the co-ed school so we only have 1 school to drive to although its further away and total we would have to do the commute for 8 years??

My feeling is I will thank myself for choosing School#1? I am quite a 'hands on' parent and like watching sports matches etc.

I don’t know what is doable, suspect depends on your other life commitments. We are both working full time as doctors and constantly exhausted and juggling schedules.
We are also considering weekly boarding for DS1. Limited it to 1hour max, closer the better. I don’t think it realistic he will get into our first choice as he is very a poor performer at ‘tests’, 2nd choice is 40mins, 3rd is 45-50mins. First choice could be day but that day is 8am-9pm 5 days a week then 8-after sports Saturday so every evening for 5 years would require one of us to go and collect for 9pm…could possibly cycle in the summer in good weather but totally unrealistic in winter/dark really.
I don’t really fancy the weekend driving (time/distance x4 with collection and drop off) but want ds to be able to come home for downtime.

Some people at ds’ prep do 1-1.5hr journeys to/from school every day…mums don’t work in those particular cases, although all that driving is a job in itself!

Thanks for your considered response ChocolateHoneycomb. Its a good point. I am self employed but mostly do 9-5 and DH is ill health retired. So I do most of the running about and organising stuff.
Boarding week at school #1 would be basically full boarding but we could pick her up when we like (so maybe wednesday after sports match, return her Thursday morning, pick up saturday after sports match and return her Monday morning).
School#2 would be similar except weekly boarding is pick up Friday night (but have to meet any sports match commitment saturday afternoon) and then drop off Monday morning.
The alternative is a day school which has a much shorter day (8.30-4 with after school activities ending about 5.30pm if you want to join them) and commuting by train. Total travel time 1hr.

There are a couple of very small day / boarding schools which are a little closer but they are v. small and not academic so we are not considering them.

I have a weekly boarder and school is 35 mins away. It does feel like a lot of driving. Drop off Monday morning or Sunday evening, pick up Friday evening, back on Saturday morning for matches (but if it’s an away match then she stays Friday nights).

I would honestly go for the closer school BUT having two children weekly boarding in two different schools would be a total nightmare.

How much do they like boarding? If they really love it, I'd go with #school2 and do some weekends in to cut down the commute.

If they don't really love boarding, TBH, I'd move closer to the day school.

My DS begged and begged to board at his prep school. We live < 5 minute walk from the gates. I'd be looking for that level of loving boarding.

@2reefsin30knots Did you let him board?

OP

Do you think both schools would suit your DD equally well? If not, I would pick the school that suits her more and make the driving work.

To be honest I would probably go for school 1, and maybe staying some weekends/some midweeks, especially as she gets older - assuming she enjoys the boarding! If I am totally honest about half the kids I know who started as weekly converted to full (or much closer to full) within two years.

Is there any public transport or shared transport service anywhere near you? I used to work in boarding and with weekly boarders we would sometimes pack three or four girls into a taxi if they lived near each other. Or take older girls to the train station and their parents would meet them at their local station. The school may have a system you don't know about.

If she is coming home twice a week and you have to do the round trip it is quite a long way. I would say worth it for a great school and if she loves boarding, but a big commitment. Much easier if she comes home less or if she can do (part of) the journey herself.

The Friday pick up for school 2 but being back in for sports on Saturday would put me off. My one hang up on recommending school 1 over school 2 however is what do you mean by "better" school? Facilities? Academic? Pastoral care?

I wouldn't pick your DD's school based on your DS either. Although it might seem sensible now, it's not clear whether your DS will suit the same school at 13, or will even want to board.

When you have DC boarding, the drive back with them can be quite nice though. A bit of time together where you can hear about their week and just talk.

@CakesOfVersailles yes, we let him in once, twice a week max! I promise he has a lovely home- we don't beat him or feed him gruel or anything!!