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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

To move year 7 child

25 replies

relentlessly · 16/10/2021 19:02

My year 7 child got into an outstanding school ( in the next town) and at the time I was thrilled as was he. I was only thinking about the quality of education and how good it was. He local school is ofsted good but not got a great reputation from those that be spoken to. Lots of talk of bullying.

Now the reality has kicked in and I am driving my kid 15min-20min each way, I am so envious of the kids who can walk to our local school. I know my kid would love to cycle or walk everyday by himself.

In terms of the the school he goes to everything is fine and my son has made lots of friends and says he doesn't want to move.

I just didn't give the commute any weighting when applying at all. I didn't realise what a big factor it would be in the wellbeing of my son and family. In terms of all the bad reviews about it , I don't think I should have listened to that as much. The local school doesn't have great grades for gcse compared to current school. Would I be mad to move him based just on travel or is the travel my son is doing pretty standard?

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 16/10/2021 19:04

I’m afraid I think you need to put up with it. It’s a great school, he’s happy and settled.

Is there a bus?

LIZS · 16/10/2021 19:04

It is not that far, is there any public transport he could use in time?

BananaPB · 16/10/2021 19:08

How long to bike 15-20 minutes?

PotteringAlong · 16/10/2021 19:08

You would be mad. It’s not even that far!

cheeseismydownfall · 16/10/2021 19:09

For 15/20 mins (so 45mins or less round trip?)

You would be utterly mad.

Original poster
relentlessly · 16/10/2021 19:10

Thanks I just feel so anxious today I need some reassurance!!

There is a train 5mins and then about 10min walk . Bit nervous about putting him on a train.

Google maps says it's a 30min cycle.

OP posts:
Incognito22333 · 16/10/2021 19:13

It is not far for secondary. He needs to find a friend to catch the train with.

EduCated · 16/10/2021 19:36

Five minute train and 10 minute walk sounds very, very reasonable. Could you use the upcoming half term to have a couple of practice goes - start by doing it together and talking him through how the journey works, and then the next time get him to lead and talk you through doing it.

Are there other children who travel on the train?

MerryMarigold · 16/10/2021 19:40

Is there anyone else who goes that you could share lifts with?

It's monumentally unfair to move him because you didn't think about the commute 🤯.

AshyBlueBear · 16/10/2021 19:41

Get him on the train! My son does a 35 minute bus ride. Initially he was really anxious (has always been an anxious child) but it’s been a massive boost to his self confidence. He told me last week he was really glad he had learnt to ride the bus alone as he feels a lot less scared to go to places on his own now. Year 7 is fine to go on a 5 minutes train journey.

Original poster
relentlessly · 16/10/2021 19:43

Yes there are other children from our town commuting on the trains. I think that's a good idea- practising the journey with him.
We are happy for now to drive him- I'm just thinking of what to do in the future when he wants his independence and not for mummy to be dropping and picking him up!

OP posts:
EduCated · 16/10/2021 19:45

Then the train is a very obvious answer. There’s no reason your average 11yo shouldn’t be able to manage it. Still gives the option for an occasional lift on days when he’s lots to carry, or whatever.

PotteringAlong · 16/10/2021 19:48

Let him get the train! Honestly, I cannot believe you are willing to cause him such a massive upheaval for such a non-issue!

Original poster
relentlessly · 16/10/2021 19:51

Thank you for putting it in perspective. I have no one to speak to as DH thinks I'm bonkers seeing as I was the one adamant that my child should go to a great school and now I'm sitting here overthinking the travel.

OP posts:
MrsKeats · 16/10/2021 21:13

That's not a big commute for a great school. I did similar for 9 years. Was totally worth it.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 16/10/2021 21:51

Honestly that's a really short commute.

DD does 90 minutes each way for hers - 2 trains and a short walk either end - and finds it totally manageable. Even stays late 3 days a week for extra curricular clubs.

Do a couple of practice goes on the train with him, put a tracker like FindMyPhone or Life360 on his phone so you can keep an eye and you will be fine.

(Tell him not to turn his phone off on the journey so you don't think he's been kidnapped when the app shows them in some random location, they don't answer and you end up calling the police... BTDT)

Echobelly · 16/10/2021 21:56

Seriously? Moving him from somewhere he's settled and has expressed no desire to leave because of a short lift or having to take the train? Let him take the train - it's probably even walkable. My secondary was 15-20 minute drive and about a 50 min walk which I did most days by Y10.

unknownstory · 16/10/2021 22:28

Just get him on the train. That would be the norm for Yr7... buses trains bikes trams etc Not mummy

Cattitudes · 17/10/2021 08:06

Just practice over the half term, say it is great that he is happy and settled at school now it is time to crack the journey. He will see others in their uniform and can just follow the crowd. If you wanted to do it more slowly you could show him the route then start him just coming home by himself so he doesn't have to rush and get to school on time then after the first week get him going both ways.

onemouseplace · 17/10/2021 08:18

DD has a similar train commute and it’s one of the shorter ones among her friends! She’s been doing it on her own since the second week of Y7 - I did go with her and come back with her the first week but she was fine after that.

And it’s not even that much hassle for you to pick him up/take him if the train gets cancelled.

ZenNudist · 17/10/2021 18:58

I'm glad to hear of others doing a commute to school. I am trying to decide between two academically equal schools where the better one with amazing facilities is a 16 min drive but takes about 45 mins one way on a private bus service that goes right past our house.

Tenfifteen · 17/10/2021 19:29

Shock it doesn’t sound like a good idea on lots of counts!

EllieNBeeb · 17/10/2021 20:17

Yeah, uh, there's zero reason to move him aside from you're too lazy to commute him. He does f want to move. It's a better school in every way. Teach him to use the public bus if you dont want to drive him.

puffyisgood · 17/10/2021 21:02

I'm a big fan of going to your local school, but this train/walk commute doesn't to me sound at all arduous. Plenty of kids who are going to their nearest school will have worse.

RaoulDufysCat · 18/10/2021 11:01

The train will be totally fine. DD did a much longer journey from day 1 of secondary school.

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