Year 11 GCSEs completely demotivated son

[LadyTrishT]

My son will be doing his GCSEs in 2022. He has always struggled with confidence. He was predicted level 7 for all his subjects when he started secondary school, but he has never managed to achieve the required levels, no matter how much work he puts in. As a result every report that comes out he looks like he is failing.

Last year we tried to start measuring him against what he would need for 6th form, I.e level 5s and 6s so that he could see he wasn’t actually that far away. But it doesn’t seem to have worked. He’s now convinced that he’s going to fail all his GCSEs and I’m at a loss of what to do. To be honest the school are pretty useless and don’t seem to be interested in helping him achieve his potential.

I know it’s been a hard few years. My son really didn’t enjoy lockdown teaching and you can see that evidenced in his progress.

How can I help him turn his negative mindset into a positive? I’m worried that he’s on the verge of giving up completely.

I am so sorry for you and your DS. This practice of some schools (is it a multi academy trust, OP?) of giving children GCSE predicted grades in Year 7 is a rather dangerous one as often leads to disengagement over the years when the ‘made up’ grade is unobtainable (and it is made up-no one can predict this accurately) and I abhor this personally.

One way to help your DS might be to start having conversations about his future and ask him what he would like to do. This could lead to A Levels but also different, yet equally valid qualifications too that might take the pressure off him.

If he then looks at the grades he needs for those qualifications, he might start to realise that he isn’t ‘failing’ by not getting 7s etc and that he can pass his GCSEs just fine without focusing on that figure. He needs to cut himself some slack over the past 2 years as well.

Finally, reassure him that in February, the exam boards should be publishing information such as topic lists for what will be in the exams and he can target some of his revision more accurately then.

And of course, other interests such as family life, friendships and leisure time should also start being a positive focus for your DS and his mental health.

Hope it all turns out ok, OP.

I have a great deal of sympathy here because in the time of the number grades, I was predicted all A* in Year 7. This gave me a lot of anxiety because full marks was considered the minimum expectation…

(This isn’t a stealth boast, I didn’t get all A* by any means.)

Talk to his head of year or head of house. Alternatively he could speak to the teachers on the A-levels he wants to do and see if they think that is if feasible.

That's a lovely post Chloe abs very useful as DD will be taking one GCSE this year (Y10).

I find that things outside of school help to build up their confidence as well. Does he do anything like Explorers or Cadets? These are both very good as they socialise but also seem to learn lots of things that aren't associated with the education they receive at school.

Completely shit to give predicted grades at 11 but anyway, can you spend any time with him at all helping him at home? One to one may make him see he is doing okay.

GCSE success comes down to a couple of thing, one is understanding the content so for History it would be knowing the dates and what happens when, for English lit its knowing the book/play and what order stuff happens in etc. Another is applying that knowledge so that you can write about it and knowing what the mark scheme wants.

The good news for your son is that the internet is at his fingertips. There are a massive number of teachers putting stuff on YouTube to help revise and understand GCSE stuff, you just need to know which exam boards the school is using ie AQA, OCR, Educas so that he looks at the right stuff. There are also students talking about how they approached revision and find out what works well for him.

I think telling him that GCSEs are not the end of the world, you don't "fail" and then fall into a dark pit. There are other options than A levels, look at other colleges not just his sixth form. Ds1 attended an outstanding sixth form and their entry is 5 x grade 4. Not all places want grade 6s.

Thanks for your comments everyone! I’d already started implementing a lot of your suggestions, so at least I know I’m on the right track :)

I completely agree with you about year 7 predicted grades. I did bring this up with the school at the start , that I thought they were too high, and that I thought it would lead to problems. They said they would never lower someone’s predicted grades, only increase them. Tempted to find my original correspondence and tell the “I told you so”