Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

First day at Secondary school....missable or really important?

46 replies

Richard1974 · 10/10/2021 17:24

Next year my sister is due to go away for a big holiday with us, but is thinking of cancelling as her son is due to start secondary school, and isn't keen on him missing his first day.

How important would you say this is? Would it disrupt him much by missing that first day?

OP posts:

Wooddie · 10/10/2021 17:27

She is right. The first day is very important.

noblegiraffe · 10/10/2021 17:28

I would say it’s massively important.

It’s a huge transition and one which children can find very stressful so the idea of making it more difficult by him missing the bits where he is likely to get to know his form, find his way around and possibly have his photo/fingerprint taken would be really unfair on him.

CovidPassQuestion · 10/10/2021 17:28

You seriously have to ask?

Absolutely he shouldn't miss the first day.

Quartz2208 · 10/10/2021 17:28

Does she know what school he is going to for certain and the definite first day? It could very well be Monday 5th for quite a few.

Then could she change and come back a day earlier - given the time frame and COVID changes are easier.

Then it depends a lot on the child and what provision has been done in the lead up to starting as well.

It is an important day though so if you are away for it I would try to change it.

Thebookswereherfriends · 10/10/2021 17:29

He definitely shouldn’t miss that first day!

Clymene · 10/10/2021 17:29

Why would you think that a holiday is more important than one of the key moments in his life.

I can guarantee you that he will remember it for much longer than you'll remember a random holiday.

If you want your family to go on holiday, don't book them during term time.

CharleyMarley · 10/10/2021 17:29

Absolutely cannot miss the first day of secondary school

JennyWren · 10/10/2021 17:30

For both my secondary age children, the first day was all about orientation: where everything is, what is expected of them, what they can expect. It was really important at their school and I wouldn’t have wanted them to miss it - and they wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for themselves. I’m sorry if that isn’t the ideal answer for you, but I’m afraid that I would think your sister’s instinct to change the holiday plan is the best for your nephew.

BlusteryLake · 10/10/2021 17:33

Your sister is right. First day at secondary is much more important than family holiday.

Szyz2020 · 10/10/2021 17:34

Absolutely he shouldn’t miss it. I say that as someone who used to work in a secondary school and saw this happen every year to one or two children. They missed orientation, assembly where they were welcomed to the school and into their houses. They missed paperwork, getting set up with books and folders. They missed introductions to school policies and processes, to their teachers. They missed the shared excitement and nerves of the first day in a new school.

Sure they all adapted soon enough but they never got the experience for themselves, they didn’t know where to go or what to do when they arrived - which is annoying for everyone else frankly - and they had to be accommodated in terms of being given their stuff late instead of everyone getting in with lessons. Everyone else turns up, hears the stuff about expectations and aspirations, etc. Why should one kid miss out and disrupt things for everyone else because their family didn’t plan their holidays properly?!

Geamhradh · 10/10/2021 17:35

Essential.

Starlightstarbright1 · 10/10/2021 17:39

Yes very important. No way would i consider holiday 1st day. We usually go away ladt week of the school holidays but did it a week earlier so he could enjoybthe excitement with his mates

RichardMarxisinnocent · 10/10/2021 17:41

@Clymene

Why would you think that a holiday is more important than one of the key moments in his life.

I can guarantee you that he will remember it for much longer than you'll remember a random holiday.

If you want your family to go on holiday, don't book them during term time.

While a completely agree that the first day at secondary can't be missed for the various reasons already given by others, I have to disagree with the comment that he'll remember it for far longer than he will remember a random holiday. I have no recollection at all of anything which happened on my first day at secondary school, but I do have a few short but lovely memories of a couple of holidays abroad when I was 8 and 9.

Cattitudes · 10/10/2021 17:50

Definitely should try to be there for the first day, also schools might question whether he is going to attend at all. Although they wouldn't automatically give his place away, not attending the first day would be a flag to investigate. I think I would only consider it if my child was fairly confident, was starting with a solid friendship group in his class and he had a chance to do some transition events over the summer. Even then only for a family wedding not just a holiday. I would hope family would put the needs of the child first and plan around it. Obviously every year children are ill and miss it but I wouldn't plan it that way. Your sister is definitely not being unreasonable to want him to be there on the first day.

rrhuth · 10/10/2021 17:52

I'm extremely laid back about missing the odd day but not the very first day!

I wouldn't want to miss any of the first fortnight if poss, it is a real shame if they get ill in that first bit.

Wigeon · 10/10/2021 17:56

I absolutely wouldn’t take my DC on a holiday which meant missing the first day of school. Agree with PPs re that being all about meeting your form tutor, meeting your new form, being shown around etc. Most DC are pretty nervous about going to a much bigger school where they have to move around every lesson/meet tonnes of new people.

DD missed I think day 2-3 (or 3-4) because she started throwing up, and that was bad enough, when she definitely couldn’t attend while puking!

CaurnieBred · 10/10/2021 18:03

I missed my first week of high school in 1981 through being taken on holiday and still regret it

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 10/10/2021 18:07

It is very important for the child to be there. And a pain in the arse for staff if he isnt.

DeireadhFomhair · 10/10/2021 18:10

Absolutely essential to be there.
I hope you're supporting your sister in her decision & not telling her to just skip it cos it's not important.

Clymene · 10/10/2021 18:12

It depends how unusual holidays are @RichardMarxisinnocent. I went on annual holidays abroad as a child and I remember bits and pieces of some of them but none of them had the same impact as moving to a new school at 11.

toomuchlaundry · 10/10/2021 18:17

Is this a serious post?

InTheLabyrinth · 10/10/2021 18:18

There are very often inset days at the start of September. Is she sure the two events overlap?
But, yes, missing the first day of secondary wouldn't be advised. In recent years they have only had the new Y7 and Y12s in to give them a chance to get used to it, and find their way around. I wouldn't miss it.

Notonthestairs · 10/10/2021 18:18

Here Yr 7's and new sixth formers get the school to themselves for the first day to give them a clear run at getting to know layout, how the canteen works etc. I assume it also gives teachers chance to introduce themselves and for pupils to get to know their form etc.
Definitely wouldn't miss it.

Kite22 · 10/10/2021 18:19

Massively important. Not to be missed.

But, how does she know when his first day will be?

Iggly · 10/10/2021 18:19

Do you have children OP?

Absolutely no way would I want my child to miss the start of secondary school.

Flip

1 2