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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Travelling to school in the dark

55 replies

JigglyPuff123 · 30/09/2021 20:00

DC started y7 and has been travelling independently to school. Gets a bus at 7.45 or 7 depending on activities to school, and gets home either 4.30 or 5.30. Ten-minute walk to bus stop along lit but not hugely busy london roads. Am I being mad to let DC walk this by themself? I don’t really have a choice as I have a younger DC at home and I can’t be doing 20-min round trips daily on foot. It’s been fine so far but I’ve just realised this will all be in darkness relatively soon.
Does anyone have any great tips to make DCs feel safer travelling to school in the dark in winter?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 30/09/2021 20:57

@Clickbait21

Personally no. I don't think anyone should be walking alone in the dark unless absolutely necessary no matter their age. Really doesn't sound safe to me at all.
Does that mean you never walk anywhere alone before 7am and after 5pm in winter? To the shop, home from work or to the post box etc?
SummersOverSeasideTown · 30/09/2021 21:00

better safe than sorry

But the reality is no matter what you do you are not safe. There has to be a balance between living and existing.

The greatest danger to UK children is a road accident yet we are disproportionately scared of kidnap.

bumblingbovine49 · 30/09/2021 21:05

@Clickbait21

Personally no. I don't think anyone should be walking alone in the dark unless absolutely necessary no matter their age. Really doesn't sound safe to me at all.
Really? no adult should ever be walking on their own in the dark between before 7.30am or after 4pm from November to January Hmm

I do however think it would be nice if someone could walk the opens year 7 child to the bus stop when it is a 7am start . The 7.45am.start will probably be light most of the time anyway

I imagine it isn't possible to meet the bus in the evening and but going with them at least for the 7am starts to see them on the bus might be nice

The times they arrive at 4.30pm will mostly be light as well ( or at least only just getting dark as they get home anyway )

Houseofvelour · 30/09/2021 21:09

@Hellocatshome

I always wonder why people find the dark so scary. You are in London so I imagine there are plenty of streetlights so its not dark dark. There will still be people around.
Go on the BBC news page and there you will see articles of Sarah Everard who was abducted in London, where there were street lights with people around. Just because there are streetlights and people does not mean it will be safe.

OP, I personally wouldn't let my dd walk 10 mins in the dark by herself to stand alone at a bus stop.

Fluffypastelslippers · 30/09/2021 21:30

I wouldn’t be able to meet at bus stop most nights as I’m ferrying other DC to and from clubs. It’s not really the 4.30/5.30 evenings that bother me though as there will be a decent amount of people about. It’s the 7.45 and the 7a

So why can't you do the morning if that's what bothers you?

Hellocatshome · 30/09/2021 21:33

Go on the BBC news page and there you will see articles of Sarah Everard who was abducted in London, where there were street lights with people around.
Just because there are streetlights and people does not mean it will be safe.

That awful crime was completely unrelated to it being dark. He could have committed his false arrest in broad daylight just as easily.

Spuperi · 30/09/2021 21:36

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Fluffypastelslippers · 30/09/2021 21:37

@Hellocatshome

You seem determined that the dark doesn't mean it's more dangerous, and yes, people have been abducted in broad daylight. However; from a safety point of view darkness makes you less visible to anyone who may be able to help you if someone does approach you. I'm not saying a kid is going to be taken because it's dark but they are in a more vulnerable position even to a peer bullying them than they would be in daylight. Nobody can help you if they can't see you.

Fluffypastelslippers · 30/09/2021 21:38

@Spuperi

Scottish children would miss weeks of school every year if they didn't go out in the dark.
I'm in Scotland and this is true, however mine don't go out alone at 7am in the dark when they are in 1st year.
TheChip · 30/09/2021 21:43

If you're really concerned about the morning journey, then just deal with the fact you will have have be up and ready a bit earlier before the school run. At least until you and your dc both feel comfortable enough for them to be on their own.

Otherwise, make sure their phone is always charged. Talk on the phone to them until they get to the bus stop if you must. My ds likes to do this with me when going places he isn't too comfortable.

chococats · 30/09/2021 21:43

Judging by the cars around our local secondary in the mornings and afternoons A LOT of kids get dropped off/collected by parents!

Hellocatshome · 30/09/2021 21:43

You seem determined that the dark doesn't mean it's more dangerous

There is the dark and there is streets with street lights that you walk day in day out on a bus route. 7am isn't deserted in any city I know. Of course I would advise sticking to main roads, no back alleys and no cutting through parks etc but the level of increased danger because it is dark is not proportionate to the increased level of fear felt by some people.

smogsville · 30/09/2021 22:55

OP, what are you worried about? A traffic related incident (in which case others have suggested visibility stickers etc) or something sinister to do with abduction?

Also, is there a partner/ husband who could help manage the mornings with the younger ones?

My children are both still primary so no personal experience of this yet.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 30/09/2021 23:58

It's only properly dark for a short time towards the end of term. Streets are lit, bus stops are lit, buses are lit, because it's so early, there are plenty of people around and there will be all the other schoolkids (and school staff) travelling by public transport at the same time. Where I work, there's usually a cluster waiting outside the gates by about 7.10am, just as the majority of staff are going in and the numbers increase steadily until they can go into the canteen for breakfast - the wait outside is valuable mobile phone and chatting/socialising time for them.

I think aged 11-12, they're also a bit past the point of 'if a man comes up and asks you if you want to come and see his puppies, you must tell your Mummy or a policeman'.

Just by virtue of living in similar areas, kids tend to form groups to travel together. I was properly antisocial at school, but I was never short of somebody to walk with, clubs, early starts or not, from the first day of Year 7 to the day I left - and that still holds as true for school kids now as it did then.

The only people I have encountered IRL who maintained that 'people' (they meant women) shouldn't be out after dark unless it's a dire emergency - which meant not working fulltime, not shopping after work, not seeing friends or having GP appointments/anything else because it was before 8am or after 3.30pm - were either abusive or in abusive relationships.

JassyRadlett · 01/10/2021 00:02

@Clickbait21

Personally no. I don't think anyone should be walking alone in the dark unless absolutely necessary no matter their age. Really doesn't sound safe to me at all.
Does that mean no Londoners can go to work between November and March?
RedskyThisNight · 01/10/2021 09:05

But if you walk your DC to the bus stop at 7am, you'll be walking back home alone by yourself?

If you're concerned about her not being safe, I think the same arguments apply to yourself.

Just go through a few "what if" scenarios with her. Or, I guess, tell them they can't do their pre-school activities in the winter.

Fluffypastelslippers · 01/10/2021 09:23

@RedskyThisNight

But if you walk your DC to the bus stop at 7am, you'll be walking back home alone by yourself?

If you're concerned about her not being safe, I think the same arguments apply to yourself.

Just go through a few "what if" scenarios with her. Or, I guess, tell them they can't do their pre-school activities in the winter.

There is a bit of a difference between a grown adult and a child's safety and it's there every single time we step out of the door, not just when it's dark.

RedskyThisNight · 01/10/2021 09:51

There is a bit of a difference between a grown adult and a child's safety and it's there every single time we step out of the door, not just when it's dark.

But this is about additional risk caused by it being dark as OP's DD is currently walking to the bus stop without there being any issues. Is this really greater for a child than an adult?
Several posters on here have suggested that no one should go out alone in the dark, full stop.

irregularegular · 01/10/2021 09:57

My kids were travelling to and from school in the dark in yr 7. Walk to village station. Then walk from station to school through centre of city (Reading). The village bit was often in the dark, the city bit probably only if they stayed a bit later after school, and they were supposed to do that part with others. Parts of Reading are not that nice! I had no qualms about the village part at all. Very safe. I did it myself every day too. Not very far. When they were in the lower years I would pick them up from school if they were staying into the evening. Or as they got a bit older remind them to walk with someone and maybe avoid the worst parts. I think it very much depends on exactly where you are.

SprayedWithDettol · 01/10/2021 09:59

They will be fine. From the age of 11 I walked over a mile to the train, 2 trains and a mile walk the other end (and reverse in the evening). This was in west London and well before mobile phones.

DameAlyson · 01/10/2021 09:59

No wonder there's such an epidemic of anxiety among young people, if they're being taught that a ten minute walk to a bus stop is such a dangerous activity.

Lordoftheties · 01/10/2021 10:04

London parent here. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to take DC to the bus stop or pick them up. They very often walk in the dark alone and did so from year 7. Their friends all do likewise.

MarshaBradyo · 01/10/2021 10:07

@Clickbait21

Personally no. I don't think anyone should be walking alone in the dark unless absolutely necessary no matter their age. Really doesn't sound safe to me at all.
How do people get home from work in winter?
lanthanum · 01/10/2021 10:15

Lighting-up time ends at 7:06 on the last day before half-term, then the clocks go back and it will be fine for a good while then. December it ranges from 7.13-7.35. So 7.45 should be okay, and there are relatively few days when 7am will be dark.

dreamingofbeaches2022 · 01/10/2021 10:16

@Lordoftheties

London parent here. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind to take DC to the bus stop or pick them up. They very often walk in the dark alone and did so from year 7. Their friends all do likewise.
Exactly this.
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