Has anyone got their child into grammer school one year earlier

[nametaken]

My colleague who lives in Hereford last year got her daughter into grammer school even though she was aged 10 not 11.

She is a very bright girl and wasn't being anywhere near challenged enough in her primary school and I think this might suit my DS.

Has anyone else heard of this happening. I can't copy what my colleague did because she doesn't live in the same area.

One other question - Are any of you really secretive towards the other parents about applying for a grammer school place for your child. I'll be applying for a place for my ds but so far I've kept really really quite about it because a) I don't want anyone to think I'm bragging about ds abilities and b) I don't want any competition for places LOL. It sounds horrible but nobody round here ever ever talks about it so it makes it quite a lonely business this applying for a place at grammer school. You lot are the only people I can talk too.

Thanks for listening

There are disadvantages to being in the year ahead of your age group, not least that of being a year younger at university (or, even worse, on a gap year somewhere) and not having the maturity to cope or avoid doing really stupid things. There are some nice aspects to being in Year 6 at primary school, too - the chance for a big part in a play, exercising a little more responsibility in preparation for the greater independence at secondary school etc. So I wouldn't do it.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean about the secrecy. Are you in a grammar school area, or applying from outside?

I'm applying from outside which makes things even worse. Although DC is very mature and could cope a year earlier what you say about doing year 6 in primary school is valid - the last thing I want to do with my kids is to force them to grow up quicker - I just don't know what to do regarding ds not being challenged enough. I suppose I could get him some extra hard private tuition for an hour a week.

Children should be allowed to be children though.

If they're not being challenged enough, they find other things to do with their time. I wouldn't worry unless the other things he's doing with his time are causing problems. If he's picking up political skills through observing his classmates, that'll stand him in good stead.

I definitely wouldn't go for extra hard private tuition - it would be more to the point to help him become more independent. Does he have hobbies he could be encouraged to build on, in his own way?

Are you a long way outside the area (are we talking about a long journey to school, or just a short walk over the border)? If there's a journey involved, maturity is rather more of an issue. There can be advantages to applying from outside the area - our default option was a rather better school than would have been the case had we been in the area. And, while the secrecy feels bad, I imagine being part of a large group of obsessive worriers who discuss nothing else would be rather worse.

We were offered acceleration based on ability at age 9-10, however we declined as felt that emotiomally and socially ds1 needed to remain with his peer group
this has worked well and despite being an exceptional student, he remains quite well challenged within the curriculum in most subjects

I don't know about applying a year earlier, but do know what you mean about the secrecy. My DD is at a grammar school and when we were going through the process of making our choices for secondary school, we played our cards very close to our chest. Most of the children at my DC's primary go on to a Catholic secondary school, and there is very much a foregone conclusion that this is where everyone's DC will go. At our school, if you're one of the few applying for grammar, you become almost an 'outsider' and are 'out of the loop' so to speak. Someone we knew well at the school who had been through it before told us what it was like, and this is why we chose to be very guarded about our choice. People asked us all the time where we would be sending DD and we just said the Catholic comp, as firstly, we felt it was none of anyone else's business, and secondly, we didn't want to experience the competition and the 'dog eat dog' thing that goes on when people are wanting to get places. We found that people were quite underhand and would blatantly lie to each other, and we ended up doing it too. It sounds ridiculous but we're glad we played our cards very close to our chests, as in our experience, if other parents knew you were going for grammar you become very much an opponent - enemy almost. It wasn't nice.

When DD got her place and everything was secured and we felt that we didn't have to be secretive any more, some of the reactions we got were quite hostile. It's almost as if some people think that you think you're better than them just because you want your DC to go to a grammar school. Someone even gave me a sneering look and said "I'd rather that my DC be top of the comp than bottom of the grammar." To which I replied "who says my DD is going to be bottom of the grammar?"

I would actually advise anyone not to let others in on what you are doing.

True enough, MummyPenguin, but my cover is now blown . So I, like the wise woman with potions for all female ills, am sought out in secret by the desperate...

Do you know anyone at your DS's school with an older sibling at a grammar school, nametaken? (We have nothing to hide and can talk freely.)

Which year is your DS in? I have one in Year 5, one in Year 4, and one in Year 8.

I've got a yr 9 ds1
we are lucky around here
No secrecy, most do the 11+, but owing to the excellence of the co ed college, many who pass the 11+ opt for the college and not the grammars - all 3 schools share 6th form anyway.

But we're far away from the very competitive southern style of grammars. T'was indeed why we left Hants and came here in the first place!

My DD is in year 7. I have two DS's in years 4 and 3.

No, I don't really know of anyone that I could talk to with an older sibling who's been through it before.

This might not be relevant but I started grammar school a year early - I moved from a different country (english-speaking) to England when I was 11 having done the common entrance (equivalent of 11 plus) into an area of the UK that finished primary at aged 12. I struggled for a couple of weeks at primary school before my Mum got fed up with it and pushed for me to do the 12 plus early which I did and passed. So I started at a Grammar school a month later than the other girls who were all 12.

To be honest, there wasn't any problem with my age - there was another girl in my year four days older than me so I wasn't alone. I did my GCSEs a year early, ditto my A-levels and went to uni at 17 years. One year doesn't really make a difference at that age IME.

BTW - I'm 32 now so that was 20 years ago

Hope that helps

MummyPenguin, our experience is very similar. We have to pretend that if DD works really hard and is very lucky, she just might be successful in getting to one of the local grammars. And meanwhile of course we would we love to accompany other mums while they traipse around the local comp (in year 5), while secretely thinking there is no way in the world she will end up there.

It seems to be different if you say you are sending your child to a private school - nobody resents that.

Are you sure you mean Hereford? There aren't any grammar schools in Hereford, just comps and private... do you mean Hertford maybe?

But anyway, I'd only consider moving a child up a year if they were emotionally and socially mature enough to blend in with older children. And the top year of primary can be a fantastic opportunity to be a big fish in a small sea, with all the responsibilities that can go with it, which are good training for secondary school.

Is your DS keen to move early?

She comes from Ledbury, I thought that was Hereford but having never been to Grammer School I could be wrong.

Lots of good advice thanks everyone - can I just ask for a bit more advice. Being secretive in one thing but the thing is, how do I get my DS not to tell - I mean kids are asking where everyone's gonna go and am I supposed to encourage him to tell a barefaced lie - oh the whole things distasteful - I think I will just be honest and bugger anyone else who doesn't like it - I can't ask him to lie can I? Because if I do he'll want to know why and then I'll look like the biggest hypocrit ever.

Ledbury is in Herefordshire - the grammar might be in Worcester, which is not too far away.

Don't ask DS to lie. Our experience is that the children don't care very much - they know who is bright - and boys care less than girls. It is only the parents that make a fuss.

Ledbury is in Herefordshire, not far from Hereford city, and there are no grammar schools in Herefordshire at all so it can't be local. Maybe he's gone to a different county - Gloucestershire has some. Or maybe he's gone to a private school?

Anyway, I agree that asking your son to lie is too much. I bet you're not the only family applying to the grammar, whatever other parents might say! As he's bright it shouldn't come as a big surprise to anyone that you're applying there.

No, I wouldn't ask your DS to lie. However, I would advise him to take a little care over whom he tells and how much he says. DS1 managed to get his teacher and classmates' backs up in Year 4 by calling for streaming (yes, that got him absolutely no votes in the school council election...), so that experience put him off talking too openly about grammar school applications. Then there's the problem of how you approach the possibility of failure - if nobody knows you applied in the first place it reduces the embarrassment a little. I'd also be aware that if some teachers (or parents of your child's friends) get wind of the idea, they will pitch in with their view on the matter and try to influence your child.

I didn't lie either - if asked whether DS1 was applying to the local comp, I said yes, which was the truth as I did put it down on the form, but if asked whether it was his first choice I admitted it wasn't. I honestly didn't have a clue what his chances were of getting into a grammar school.

Have you actually looked at the grammar school and the other options yet? I'd thought, before DS1 reached Year 6, that I'd prefer any grammar school to any comprehensive, but found when I actually went round the schools that my views changed (there was one grammar school I looked at that I strongly disliked). I'd certainly take a proper look before committing yourself to any expenditure.

Nametaken: I believe that you live in Evesham, which is in Worcestershire. Worcs has no state Grammar schools, which could be why "nobody round here ever ever talks about it". Are you talking about applying to private schools or perhaps the Warwickshire Grammars?

Ledbury (only has one primary and one comp) is near the border with Gloucestershire - 30 mins from Gloucester where there are several good grammars. Having lived in this area, I am not aware of anyone else sending to grammar across the border, so it is probably just as well to keep it quiet, or they'll all be doing it...

I would be very wary of send a chils to secondary school early - I didn't even know it was possible! It's not just the work - it's the social side and the out of school side - he'll be an even younger under age drinker, for example! And then he'll be a year younger at university - I can't see any advantage at all in that. Or am I missing something?

I'm born in April (so lateish in the school year anyway) and I skipped a year of school when I was 8 - went from year 3 to year 5 - and remained a year ahead for the rest of my education, including university. I didn't go to a grammar school, but I did get into one - actually taking the exams and so on while still 9 - so it's definitely possible, though I think there was some special assessment I had to have done before I was allowed to sit the 11-plus (and which my incompetent school mucked up, or failed to implement, causing a degree of chaos) - so worth checking on that? In case the private sector is likely to be an option, I'm pretty sure that you're not allowed to take common entrance at 13 - or at least it's extremely unusual, bright boys who are running young typically do an extra year at prep school first. I think skipping even a single year comletely is quite a major decision - personally I don't regret it, anything that made my school experience a year shorter has got to be a plus! - but then that sort of makes the point I think - it was very much the best of a bad job. And to be absolutely honest, academically, I felt stretched and interested for maybe the first term after the jump and then went back to being unspeakably bored again - it's a pretty crude sort of tool really. The danger of course is that you end up compounding one kind of 'weirdness' (of being much brighter than others) with another (of also being rather less mature, or indeed just physically smaller - particuarly difficult for boys at puberty I think). What does he think about the idea? and if he is very bored, does he have any thoughts of what kind of thing he'd like to be doing to help? (he might actually want some extra tuition, or have a hobby he'd like to follow up more seriously).