Boarding schools

[DadsNet3]

The CH propaganda machine says to ignore past criticisms of the school (bullying, sex abuse by masters, etc). OK. But a lot more is known about the effect of boarding these days and there is no modern theory of child development that recommends sending a young child away from home to be brought up by complete strangers. No other western European nation does it except as a last resort (peripatetic parents for instance). Look at the results. Boris Johnson, Jacob-Rees Mogg, David Cameron, George Osborne - and of course not forgetting Steve Hilton.

Another post in which we knock the choices of other parents looking to do what they see as the best for their children. Is this necessary?

Rees Mogg and Johnson are products of boarding schools of a different age. I’m only a bit younger than both but also boarded. I can’t and don’t disagree that certain schools of that era encouraged and fostered elitism, mine did. But from my understanding, boarding today is a very different kettle of fish than the schools of that time.

I had four absolutely miserable years boarding. It was completely the wrong school for me. Conversely, my more outgoing & sporty sister had what she considers some of the best years of her life at her sporty boarding school. Like any type of school, it’s absolutely about finding the right fit for a particular child.

Some gumpf circulates on these posts on Mumsnet from pro boarding people when it comes to boarding - polish, instilled confidence etc. Like any type of school, they don’t turn out products and plenty of shy, gawky, socially unconfident people emerge from boarding schools at 18. I have a real ? about ‘added value’ comments, I don’t think personally remembering a couple of words of Latin, knowing how to correctly eat soup or having friends who’s parents were wealthy has added a great deal to my life. Neither has my accent always helped me. But it hasn’t damaged me for life either.

Each of us is trying to do the best for their child, You wouldn’t send your DC to a boarding school clearly and neither would I. But quite clearly it does work well for some parents and their DC. Who are any of us to point fingers and tell others they are doing the wrong thing by their children? Do you not think too that the various people you’ve listed would have been absolute CFs whatever type of schooling they’d attended?

It’s not right for my kids but it can be amazing for the right child. I have 5 good friends who all boarded from 13 and absolutely loved it!

OP - so do you think moving your DC around various army schools is a better option?? My mother would disagree with you there . She was dragged all around the world, never staying in one school for longer than a year.
That really damaged her education and she wished she had boarded instead.

1. Military parents

1. Night working/awkward shift workers when childminders usually only work 7 - 7 (ish)

1. SEN boarding teaching life skills

1. Ex Pats

1. Abusive households and foster carer that can't cope (our boarding school has full scholarships for children who really would not be better off at home)

1. Children with servearly disabled parents or siblings so they aren't getting the attention they need to thrive at home (again, full scholarships)

I'm sure there's more but these are just some non-elitest examples of when boarding might be the best fit for an individual child in individual circumstances.

What / where is CH?

Some kids enjoy it. Some don’t. We’re all different. Primary school - I guess it is a harder decision as kids are less independent; but I think a number or kids will be fine at secondary school age. Even at the older primary age eg year 5-8 - some kids will like it.

Dd chose to board, competed for her place etc. Only 6th form but she loved it.

What / where is CH?

I'm guessing it's Christ's Hospital.

Did Osborne board? I don't think so. He went to St Paul’s. Not sure about Osborne but I agree I would not want another Johnson and definitely not another Reesie popping up - especially Rees-Mogg he is something. I would not only blame it on a school though, it has to be something else, something is wrong in the system when people like these are in power.

It's possible to board at St Paul's Boys'.

But he didn't - he was a day boy

If CH is the school I think it is then for some pupils it is a far better option than staying at home and going to a day school.

I boarded and loved it. I started young, too. I wouldn't rule out sending my children if they wanted to, but as a previous poster said, finding the right school for the child is key. I have 3 siblings who also all enjoyed it, although 2 of them started older.

Interestingly, when we were younger 2 of my siblings always said they would never board their children. One of them would now, if she could afford it, but the other homeschools her children.

I absolutely agree that for some kids it's a terrible choice, but for some it's great. And the list provided above of reasons why people might send their children is very fair. But many people send their children simply for greater extra curricular opportunities, independence etc. You don't have to agree, but you also don't have to send your kids to boarding school...

It’s not boarding that created Johnson.
He is the product of his parents. Far more influential than any school. Give me the child before he is seven and all that.

Frequent moves, absent father, lots of au pairs, genetics all play a far greater role in his personality failings than Eton.

I met plenty of Etonians at Oxford. One of them was Jacob Rees-Mogg. He was basically indistinguishable then from how he is now. Another is one of the most thoughtful and principled people I've ever met, who has spent his life working away in the public sector trying to make the world a better place (though I guess JRM might claim the same ). The others were somewhere in between those extremes, some were great, some were twats. A bit similar to the way that some of the kids who went to my (state) school were great and some were twats. To suggest that boarding school (or even one particular boarding school) turns out identikit people is absurd.