Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Year 7 and mobile phone

35 replies

Rhapus123 · 07/07/2021 15:48

Out of interest, is anyone planning to not send their 11 year old with a mobile phone for year 7 in September. I've been interested in the pros and cons but now have to actually make a decision.
My daughter sort of wants one to not be left out but she knows she could end up spending too much time on one/be distracted. The school are lax in that, I quote "if you can get away with texting without being caught then it's ok". Our next nearest school has a strict no mobile in school hours policy which I think is wise.
My daughter currently is allowed to use my phone to WhatsApp two friends. Her bus ride is under 10 mins and I am at home with her younger siblings.

OP posts:
Rhapus123 · 07/07/2021 15:49

p.s. The quote was from a pupil not staff!

OP posts:
clarrylove · 07/07/2021 15:58

Mine would have struggled without one. They are allowed to use them in school under certain circumstances, such as: Kahoot classroom quizzes, taking photos of work on the board, taking photos of work in school to be carried on at home (they don't get a text book any more), to access their online timetable, to receive messages about sudden room changes, to get info on their extra curricular clubs which may be moved or cancelled at short notice, to access Google classroom, to contact parents if they forget equipment, to contact parents on the way back from school trips to update on ETA, to access the app for online homework etc etc.

MaxwellsChocolate · 07/07/2021 16:01

My child uses hers during lessons to do actual work, they all do. They can share if a child doesn’t have one or it’s out of charge but most kids have a working smart phone with a power bank at high school. Plus she’s on the phone to her friends loads after school and we don’t have a landline.

pocketcalculatoroperator · 07/07/2021 16:33

What @clarrylove said. Mine didn't actually use it much for social purposes (he's not really into messaging or social media) but he uses it constantly for work - everything is via an app, he emails teachers, gets messages, uses it for Kahoit quizzes in the classroom etc. And it's useful for me to be able to see where he is on the school site if I'm picking him up, or for him to message me when he's on the way back from a trip or sports fixture. Couldn't have been without it, really.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 07/07/2021 19:31

DD's school don't allow them in class, but all their homework is set on an app (ShowMyHomework), they have a class WhatsApp and they need to access their school email a lot.

It was an essential for us as she has a long journey to school with multiple trains and a lot of after school clubs and classes (tracking apps are very handy), but I didn't anticipate how much a non-phone school would rely on tech for students.

Rhapus123 · 07/07/2021 20:41

Thanks. Some good points to check at the welcome meeting tomorrow. Her older friends had pay as you go for year 7 and have upgraded in year 8 so perhaps their school doesn't expect you to have a smart phone.
Totally get it's completely different if you have a long journey to school or lots of clubs. We only live 5mins away. My concern was affording 4 more mobiles as each of my children reach secondary school age but I have seen it is much cheaper than I had expected to add a phone to my plan.

OP posts:
EvilPea · 07/07/2021 20:43

They need a fairly new one for the show my homework app to work, they can login on the website but it’s not as good as having the app with alerts.

Oblomov21 · 07/07/2021 20:45

They need one. Please make sure dd has one.

cookiecreampie · 07/07/2021 20:47

My DS is in year 7 and I think a phone is essential. They're not allowed them in class and they have to be switched off but he texts me once he gets to school and to let me know if he's going to the park with friends after school. All of his friends have phones and they message each other after school and arrange meeting up. I think she'd be left out if she didn't have one and if she's not bothered about having one now, she will be soon.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 07/07/2021 20:49

I wouldn't want my child to be the only one without a mobile phone. So even though I think it's ridiculous that 11 year olds these days 'need' mobile phones, I would probably go along with it but implement parental control measures and strict usage rules.

pocketcalculatoroperator · 07/07/2021 21:23

They don't need to cost the earth. We bought new phones outright for about £130-150 (for birthday) and then pay £8 a month for calls and data, which is ample. I'd say your DD needs a newish smartphone so that the apps work, but pay no attention if she suddenly says she 'needs' an iPhone Wink.

OnTheBrink1 · 07/07/2021 21:44

Please do get her a cheapish smartphone. Put restrictions on and no safari if needed but do give her what’s app. I know it’s so hard to let go and move on to the next phase, it’s scary, bloody scary. However pretty much every other child will have a smart phone. A group whats app will be formed. All the other year 7’s will be getting to know each other over what’s app and planning meet ups, discussing homework, chatting about school and what to bring and just generally bonding over what’s app.
It’s a huge step. Absolutely huge going up to y7. There are many changes and the way secondary schools treat children is so so different to how primary will have treated her. They are made to feel like mini adults rather than kids.
From a Mum of a girl who is just finishing y7 😭

Joanie1972 · 07/07/2021 22:01

WhatsApp say under 16s should not be using it. I would hold off as long as possible. Maybe get her an old-fashioned dumb phone if absolutely essential. Lots of parents seem heavily invested in their kids having smartphones but I think the harms massively outweigh the benefits.

OnTheBrink1 · 07/07/2021 22:03

@Joanie1972

WhatsApp say under 16s should not be using it. I would hold off as long as possible. Maybe get her an old-fashioned dumb phone if absolutely essential. Lots of parents seem heavily invested in their kids having smartphones but I think the harms massively outweigh the benefits.
Do you currently have a secondary school child?
Rhapus123 · 08/07/2021 00:02

My husband had always intended to get her a phone so that she was not left out socially; I'm just interested in people's experiences who have recently gone through the process.

@Joanie1972 I had not realised WhatsApp had changed it's age to 16 from 13 in 2018, It's such a handy way to share group messages but without worrying about updating a social media profile. As said earlier My DD currently uses my phone to WhatsApp two friends with the understanding I can check through any time. Mainly pictures of their pets and arranging to go for a walk together!

@Talkwhilstyouwalk Definitely strict usage rules. She's admitted she knows she'll need them when gets her own phone.

OP posts:
Zodlebud · 08/07/2021 06:37

My DD got my old iPhone after I upgraded at the end of my contract and a new SIM with calls and data plan is £6 a month. Sure some kids get given brand new iPhones etc but it’s really not necessary. I would ensure it’s a smart phone though as my DDs school use tech a lot. Just things like taking photos or videos of work and then uploading it to Google classroom.

Oblomov21 · 08/07/2021 12:35

Ds2 is in year 7 now, and given the hard year they've had, and last year, year 6 aswell, WhatsApp has been great for building friendships. We've had no trouble whatsoever. he is very sensible and if anyone says anything nasty, (which there has been very very little), he just leaves the group.

Trust your dd. It will be fine.

Gettingjabbywithit · 08/07/2021 13:02

My DC is about to go into y7. I think I'll be getting them a brick phone. I know it means they miss out on WhatsApp, but I've heard about so much drama and bullying from WhatsApp from friends of slightly older kids. The school teacher at the induction also advised us to get a brick phone, and on the open day for the other school we looked at they also advised a brick phone. I think the longer you can hold off, the better, tbh.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 08/07/2021 14:03

I'd rather have WhatsApp than SnapChat - at least the messages don't disappear!

If you are having to buy a phone then get a smart one not a brick as the likelihood is you'll be having to get a smart one a month later when you find that your child is the only one in the class that isn't able to see the apps or be on the class groups.

DD has a group for her class, a group for the kids on her train, a group for a school drama club etc. If she wasn't in those, she just wouldn't get the messages and nobody is going to send a text as well as a Whatsapp each time.

I pay DD's contract and have parental controls set up so I preapprove any apps, have all the passwords and can look at her phone at any time if I want to check message content and ensure she is safe. That is the deal for having one. Although the class WhatsApp can get a teeny bit silly, there have been no comments that have worried me (surprisingly for 30 odd 11-12 year olds).

Gettingjabbywithit · 08/07/2021 14:21

What phone do you use @OhCrumbsWhereNow and what parental control app would you recommend? Thanks for any advice.

OhCrumbsWhereNow · 08/07/2021 14:38

DD got my old iPhone 8 when my 2 year contract ended last summer and she has a Sim-only contract which gives her a data allowance plus free calls/texts. I would be wary with having the latest model (although a lot of kids do) as I see that as a security risk.

I use Life 360 as a tracking app as it's more sensitive than the Find My Device, and we use the Apple parental controls. DH and I can approve or reject new apps, set time limits so the internet can't be accessed after certain times or amounts of time.

It's pretty flexible in terms of how strict or liberal you want to be.

I probably check through her phone about once a week - ensure privacy controls are on all social media and nobody strange is messaging her, check the WhatsApp messages and her internet history.

A lot depends on the child as to how much you need to limit things - DD isn't really interested in 'likes' or comments on social media (yet), and has a relatively healthy relationship with tech (does a lot of graphic design but not much gaming) and has no interest at all in the dodgier things that are available - she can't bear kissing in films so she's not heading for porn sites or anything like that, and being severely dyslexic she's not spending her time on forums either.

If I had a child who didn't have a lot of non-tech hobbies, and who had a more addictive kind of personality and was glued to games or social media I would probably be far stricter.

Longdistance · 08/07/2021 14:56

I’m getting my dd one, she’s turns 12 in September. She will be walking to my work or catching a bus to our home town. The bus isn’t a school bus, it’s a public bus. My fil will show her the ropes first, so she can get a taster.
As I’ll be owning the handset, it’ll come to me in the evenings at bedtime.

Landslidelife · 08/07/2021 14:57

Mine all have an account with smarty (less than £5 a month each).
Mine definitely need it for the app for homework, sometimes use it in school, plus communicating with friends becomes more important or they can become left out.

BiBabbles · 08/07/2021 15:09

With my currently Y7 DD who has a cheap argos phone, the benefits have been:
-- she has her bus ticket on her phone (to me this is more neutral, but she says it's much better than the paper one she used to have).
-- she can access homework via the Teams app though as I've blocked the internet browser on her phone she has to use a computer with me if there is a link
-- she's used Duo and texting to talk to her friends
-- she loves the drawing and 'paint' apps, she finds it really soothing and stims with it when she needs to chill out.
-- I sometimes get random sweet texts.

The cons have been
-- the expense, though some places do family discounts. I have 5 of us for about £34 a month, but we're a family that uses very little data.
-- as her school doesn't use mobiles during lessons unless at home, she always has it on do not disturb so when she misplaces it, it's a whole thing until I remind them to double call it.
-- She does get distracted with with the drawing apps and music on it, though I've a tight lock on screen time so she only gets an hour a day for that unless her father or I add in extra time. I think this has helped. Her Y9 sister is more distracted with it, I swear that child can teleport to her room to go dancing with it the second my back is turned.

After using a few apps (and a few bumps with DS1), we use Google Family Link for screen time and controlling/monitoring apps. All of the kids, and even their father, leaves their phone downstairs at bedtime, always have. I think creating routines and expectations around them is really important (though sometimes very hard to stick to).

she can't bear kissing in films so she's not heading for porn sites or anything like that

My DS1 used to leave the room when there was kissing on TV, and once ran out of the room when his sister asked about where babies came from and yeah, at 13, he had an error that he asked my help on which ended up being caused by his phone having too many Deviant Art windows open and we had to have a bit of a chat on that. The next
6 months were a roller coaster of internet related drama - mostly around violent graphic novels - which is why the younger ones have internet browsers blocked on their phone (as did he, at his own request, until he was 15 as he found it all too easy and tempting).

I'm not saying your DD will have anything similar, but my boy taught me that showing a disinclination doesn't stop the internet rabbit hole of curiosity so anything along the lines of how uninterested a child is makes my brain scramble. I wish I'd blocked the browser sooner rather than thinking that being in the same room with a child who had at most shown annoyance for that type of content had been enough.

hedgehogger1 · 08/07/2021 16:47

Secondary school teacher here, and also parent of a year 6. We don't allow phones in lessons until sixth form, but I think kids without them would struggle socially. I'm planning to get my Dd a second hand one and put her on giffgaff, I will also be installing some hidden parental controls/monitoring on it so I can control access as they are basically the route of all bullying and fall outs

Swipe left for the next trending thread