CoEd v Single Sex Schools?

[MrPickles73]

We are looking for an independent school for our children at 13+. We have a boy and a girl. Both DH and I went to single sex schools and we thought we would send DD to a girls school and DS to a coed school.

DD was at a single sex all through school but we had to move her to a coed prep. We thought the all girls school would be perfect for her but she seems happier at the coed prep. It seems the children mix better and its more friendly. She's quite sensitive to friendship issues whereas her brother is made of teflon.

I'm aware of the higher uptake of girls in all girls school for STEM subjects and the higher uptake of some of the humanities for boys in all boys schools. We don't have any all boys schools near us and I think he'll be better off coed. Obviously logistics will be easier if they can both go to the same school..

What are peoples ideas on coed v all girls? If you went for coed why and also if you went for all girls why? This is a biggie to help better target our school search.
Any negative experience of girls in coed schools? Or all girls schools? Or positive stories? Any new research? How about for teenagers?

Many thanks for your help.

I'm aware of the higher uptake of girls in all girls school for STEM subjects
Debatable if this is true. I did some research into this for my PGCE and the research for this statement dates back a long way (1950s) where most academic girls went to all girls grammar schools.
I went to an all girls school and my daughter went to co-ed. The standard of teaching was much better at my dds school to be honest and there was no gender stereotyping for subjects taken at GCSE at all.

Thanks for that catndogslife is there any new research that would be helpful?

95% of kids go to coed, most do just fine (and I'm sure some single sex schools don't have good outcomes). Go for the school that's right for each of your dc and fits into your lives eg transport.

I have no experience of independent schools.

In our area only the grammar schools are single sex, the secondaries are all co-ed.

My son went to the boy's grammar school (started 2003) and did OK. I think, in retrospect, I should have chosen the co-ed grammar for him (there is a boys grammar, girls grammar and one coed grammar in my town).

My daughter is going to the girl's grammar in September. I did consider the coed grammar, but the girl's grammar gets consistently better results at GCSE than the coed one.

My daughter has also been badly bulled by boys at her primary, they've gone as far as writing over her test sheets, ripping them up, pushing her over and worse.

I'm under no illusion that bullying occurs at schools and girls 'may' be worse than boys, but I think she'll feel happier away from them for a while.

I went to a coed and my own experience isn't great, I didn't talk even when I knew an answer because the boys were more confident. Also I became far more interested in the boys in class than the subjects.

In general GCSE and A level entries for girls in STEM subjects are increasing irrespective of the type of school.
We didn't have any grammar options and only one state girls school available in our city.
My advice is to look for the best school overall in terms of teaching, pastoral support, pupil behaviour etc and that these factors are far more important than whether or not the school is single sex or co-ed.

We chose independent over grammar, and one of the biggest reasons was because we wanted coed not SS. For us, it really wasn't about percentages doing particular subjects or academic achievement etc - those things might be affected at a statistical level, but there's no way I'd make an individual decision on that basis when there are so many other factors that come into play. Essentially, I just didn't want my boys in an all male environment. I want them to grow up alongside girls on a day to day basis, to see a mixed sex environment as the absolute norm, and to see girls achieving in just the same way as boys, in terms of academics, sport, music and everything else. I want to minimise any sense of girls as 'other', in any context, and I want to reduce any expectation that a single gender environment is necessary or beneficial. I went to an all girls school, and, socially, I hated it. I've never really enjoyed being in an all female environment, either at school, or at work, or socially. I would always, always rather spend time in a mixed group of people.

Don't get me wrong, there is definitely still a degree of separation between the boys and the girls at school - lots of the sport is still SS, and the younger kids in particular tend to hang out with their own gender - but just the fact that they're in a mixed classroom, day in day out, is really important to me.

Incidentally, I do agree that whether the school is good is more important. If I'd had to choose between a good SS school and a not very good coed, I'd have reluctantly gone for the SS.

Hi @MrPickles73, I work with schools and our daughter is now in her fourth and Masters year at Cambridge. I was at a single sex school and my partner was at a co-ed school in our time, aeons ago.

We went through something similar as yourselves in our girl's Year 5 and Year 6. Originally, we both wanted a co-ed school. But, at that time, I had started work in schools and I was amazed at the difference between boys and girls, pretty much from the middle of Year 7. Sadly, all the 'wisdom' and all the stereotypes applied and so we did a U-turn and started looking at girls' schools.

It really is the case that most girls are better off in a girls' school and most boys in a co-ed school. Do feel free to PM me for a more candid dialogue.

as @catndogslife said, focus on finding the best school for your child which also matches your family's requirements.
A lot of the so-called benefit of single sex education actually come from uncontrolled studies in the first place. Most of the "benefits" coming from the actual family environment being focused on education with aspirations, the inherent ability of the child...
Exclude England/some commonwealth countries and some Muslim countries, the largest part of world is educating their children the coeducational way, many countries having made the choice of scraping their traditional single sex education, in the 19th or 20th century, and not showing any signs of getting back to it.
Lots of these countries have many many girls taking STEM subjects, it's just the way the world's goes. All the pupils who have the ability to do well in the STEM subjects will be encouraged to pursue STEM studies to get a solid degree leading to a good job at the end, wherever they are.
if you look at the UK, you are more likely to see boys' schools starting to take girls in than co-ed schools becoming single-sex schools. one camp is traditional and the other progressive.
you'll hear as many complains about boys in co-ed schools, as you will hear girls complaining of other girls being toxic/bitchy/mean, which is why it is best to focus on the best school in general for your requirements (and with the best pastoral care !)