Anyone know Ibstock Place?

[refusetobeasheep]

In Roehampton? Considering it for my daughter but I don't know anyone who has kids there. So any info / thoughts welcome!

I have 2 dc at Ibstock and have to say that my older dc’s year (now Sixth form) has had no evidence of misogynistic behaviour throughout the years they have been there and they are a totally lovely year group. However, my younger dc has seen much more bad behaviour from the boys in their year group and I have informed school of a couple of incidents in the past. I can honestly say that on both occasions the complaints were taken very seriously by school and dealt with swiftly and sensitively. In my experience, if school know about it, then it does get dealt with.

It used to be a much more strict school and so perhaps this behaviour was not tolerated years ago, however I was wondering if misogyny is on the up in other secondary schools? Certainly in recent years there were many London private schools under huge scrutiny after everyonesinvited.uk named them publicly (and rightly so). I think what I’m trying to say is that I don’t have experience of other schools management of such problems but don’t believe Ibstock is isolated in this situation and from personal experience they have handled it all very well indeed. It seems that perhaps post covid there has been a shift in mindset globally and misogyny and racist behaviour is on the up sadly. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for schools to stamp it out.

Did you report it? My children have been in workshops and heard speakers to address both and any incident is dealt with and taken very seriously in my experience. Unfortunately, this generation of children are being groomed by what they see, hear or read on the Internet. There are some parents who don’t give their children phones and hopefully this will catch on.

Both my DCs have good friends of the same and opposite gender. The school does a lot of work on anti-racism, so do report it.

Totally agree with you @Teachermummy24
I wasn't sure if your post was directed at me but I definitely did report a couple of incidents and it was very quickly dealt with, so agree that we had a positive experience in the end, as you rightly say also.

@Wishingitwasover sorry, I was intending to reply to the person who suggested that other peoples 11 years olds are mini Andrew Tates and the school doesn’t care, which is not my experience. It’s all about communication and working with the school because everyone wants happy children at the end of the day, parents and teachers. I work in a state primary school, so see both sides of education.

Any updates from anyone on the mini Andrew Tates in year 7?

I’ve heard this again for a parent today that there was a problem with bullying at the start of the year.

Would any Year 7 parents be able to update on this and how things are now?

Is the current Year 7 full now?

@Slippersandrum are you a parent at the school? Your view doesn’t match my experience of the school.
All schools see turnover of staff, have children that are tutored out of school and the odd behaviour issues. In my experience of Ibstock, any issues (academic or behavioural) have been dealt with quickly and effectively.
The biggest issue i see with Ibstock is a small minority of parents who seem determined to pick fault and complain about the school so that it can almost do no right - your comment about the previous head (who was a strict disciplinarian who didn’t believe in pastoral care) falls into this category.

No school is perfect for sure, but I am just trying to add balance here as my DC are very happy and thriving at Ibstock.

@Slippersandrum Out of curiosity, what school are your DC's at, in order to better understand the experience you have compared to Ibstock?

Unfortunately @Schoolgate225 I am a DM of a DC at another school and there is bullying going on there underneath the perfect mirage they present on Open Days.

I would never ever have believed this was possible after they had gone on and on and on about their culture of inclusion and kindness. It has been a huge shock and this school has never appeared on here as one which has problems.

I am meeting some other DMs soon from the school and to their knowledge, their children are happy and things are going great. They will be shocked when they hear what has been happening.

And for those that are having a difficult time, the school is not doing enough in a number of parents' eyes.

Our DC are having a very difficult time at the hands of a few ringleaders and the school is refusing to clamp down severely enough that the children stop their damaging behaviour.

I was asking about IBS because I heard it had space with a view to moving DC but when I read about Andrew Tates in Year 7 it sent the wind up me because that's exactly what we've got at my DC's school.

Is it endemic in young boys today? That's the question I'm starting to ask myself. Kids numbed out on violent videos games and no empathy at all.

And this is a very expensive sophisticated private school in Surrey. As I say, I've been shocked at how they handle poor behaviour.

@Slippersandrum Speaking from experience, Ibstock has dealt with every pastoral issue immediately and efficiently, and it is a shame your friends have not had that experience themselves. Unfortunately, not every child will have the same experience, and that applies for any school. For greater context, what year was your DC in at Ibstock, and when did you remove them?

@WhyNotNow21 I’m really sorry to hear that your dc is having a bad time at school. It can be so heart breaking and frustrating at the same time and as a parent you want to make it all better for them. I presume you have spoken to your child’s school and have not had any joy?

When we had some issues a few years ago at IPS the staff were really engaged in trying to help our dc… they had regular phone calls with me to check how things were going and set up meetings with dc and the school counselling team, which was brilliant and it has definitely taught our dc to be more resilient and confident. Fast forward a couple of years and they are very happy and thriving there! Sadly I don’t have any experience of the current Year 7s but just wanted to say that it can get better with the right support. It’s always a bit of a gamble to swap schools but I know plenty of parents who have done just that and have not regretted it.

I’m really sorry to hear about your experience @WhyNotNow21 - sadly it seems to be getting more common in all schools. I just wanted to push back on this notion that Ibstock is full of mini Andrew Tates and Mean Girls and yet al
of the other schools don’t seem to be named and shamed in the same way on this forum
Every experience is different so I just wanted to reflect a good one too

Jumping on to add to my previous post. I've heard so many more reports of bullying and unhappy parents in our year group and in the upper school. Minor infractions seem to be dealt with in a very punitive way with punishments far outweighing behaviour and then there are some students who seem to get away with extreme bullying with no consequence.

Some of the teachers are very kind and do their best to encourage and support the students but I've yet to meet anyone in the leadership team who appears to understand they are working with children and families. In my opinion they are a cold bunch lacking empathy and people skills.

Communication isn't tailored to children and there is a lack of understanding around things like timetabling and setting appropriate limits on events and exams in one week.

There have been many occasions when I've been astounded at the poor execution and basic incompetence around safeguarding and SEN support. I am talking about basic things here, nothing out of the ordinary. Things which I've seen other schools get right, all the time, as they should.

Been a parent at Ibstock for several years now and am happy with the school. Most of all, I have been impressed by the teaching and pastoral care. Teachers know my child really well and how to get the most from them. My child is happy: has 'found' a good group of friends who are like minded and are growing up together. Compared to my other child's school, there is more interaction and socials with other parents. Last two good points: food (my child raves about it) and the extensive list of activities and opportunities to get involved. Yes, the school is strict about punctuality, preparedness, homework etc, and initially it was hard, but over time this is helping my child to become more responsible and self sufficient.

Not sure if you have a boy or a girl but we definitely found a huge difference in the way the sexes were treated and I hear that the prefect body this year is primarily made up of girls which says it all.
@Slippersandrum

I don’t know where you have this information from but I can tell you that last year’s cohort of prefects had 10 boys and 14 girls, so hardly a massive disparity! 🤔

I know of this. Very different in the current UVI. It was initially something ridiculous like 17 girls to 6 boys. I hear they have now created deputy head of house posts to try and include a few more boys because there was uproar but it is still very female dominated and a missed opportunity to have some positive male role models for the lower school boys.

Thanks @HackettGreen but pp was talking about last year’s cohort? (So 2023/2024) and I can tell you that there wasn’t a massive difference. If the current UVI is imbalanced that is not to say it is every year.

Prefects are announced before the end of the summer term so I suspect the PP was in fact talking about this cohort. It has been a big issue with a lot of unhappy parties because of the way it reflects the wider issues with the boys feeling very marginalised.

Fair enough. That wasn’t clear on the pp post but I see what you are saying. I suppose every year has different personalities and characters and the prefects are chosen on their attributes and application. It’s a pity but I don’t think it’s a massive bad reflection on the school. There are plenty of other ways that the boys can be good role models for younger pupils without being a prefect. 😊

Prefects were mostly the girls taught by the Head of 6th form. Added to many other ways in which the boys in that year group are feeling marginalised and persecuted - constant visiting speakers on toxic masculinity when most of them are decent kids for example and it has left a pretty unpleasant taste in a lot of people's mouths.

Are there any updates on Year 7 boys and the bullying that was going on last year?

They'd be Year 8s now. Please post current parents. Please!

I've heard good things and bad things about the school.

I would love it if they could sort things out once and for all but the school sounds a bit inflexible and when you're paying such vast fees - well - they should be bending over backwards to accommodate the customer base - because that's essentially what we are: customers. It's a business and it sounds like they need to be much more responsive to existing and future customers or their reputation will suffer.

It's true we've had problems at another very expensive school in Surrey. I'd move to IPS happily if I thought they'd actually be responsive. Thankfully the school we are at, after quite a lot of gnashing of teeth are being very good now so we shall stay for the time being. But for us IPS is a better match, closer to home etc. But while there continue to be complaints online, why would we switch over and our current school is now delivering.

I have experience of two other private schools in the area and both bend over backwards to support their students in every way possible.

Why can't IPS?