How far to drive for secondary?

[Vegasbaby2019]

DD is year 5. We are genuinely rural (but not posh rural) and farm so can't move. Local secondary is OK but schools further afield may suit DD better as they're more diverse with a greater range of options and opportunities. Some selective, 1 single sex and some have a state boarding option.

Given that EVERYTHING is already half an hour's slow rural, winter, muddy drive away, how far would you consider expanding the range when choosing secondary schools? My work is flexible, DH (the farmer) is not, so transporting her is possible.

Did anyone else have to make a similar choice?

Will you be driving then returning home, or going elsewhere in between?
45min drive, 90 MIn round trip. 3hrs a day.
1hr drive, 2hrs round trip. 4hrs a day.

School is, for example, 8.30-3 (that's my local school). 45min drive, leave at 7.30. home 4ish. After school club is home around 5ish.

Any school buses?

We are also non posh rural, 1hr 50 mins is the longest bus journey, we are about 45minutes drive from school, biggest problem is best friends are 50 minutes from school in the other direction.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

Will you be driving then returning home, or going elsewhere in between? 45min drive, 90 MIn round trip. 3hrs a day. 1hr drive, 2hrs round trip. 4hrs a day.

School is, for example, 8.30-3 (that's my local school). 45min drive, leave at 7.30. home 4ish. After school club is home around 5ish.

Any school buses?

That's a good point. I could probably arrange my work that 3 out of 5 days I'd not be having to come home in between. There are buses, but again, they'd start half an hour away as we'd be thoroughly out of catchment.

@Waveifyouknowme

We are also non posh rural, 1hr 50 mins is the longest bus journey, we are about 45minutes drive from school, biggest problem is best friends are 50 minutes from school in the other direction.

Oh crumbs, I hadn't thought of that angle, thank you, but you're right, we could end up 2hrs from friendship groups.

If your DD is of the willing sort, some of the time could be allocated to revision / testing / discussion of schoolwork.

One thing to consider is access to friends. If they are coming from the other side of your chosen school that could be quite a trek for meeting up when they are older.

x-post.

Bus is your best bet.

Are you sure you are out of catchment? I thought it was not possible for a child to be totally out of catchment, at least one school must offer you a place.

I'd check this out with your LA if I were you, and send your DC to the closest school (assuming it's not dire!).

Quality of life would be better for you and them the less time spent on the road each day.

Look at the school bus situation, they must provide them if you are more than 3 miles from school. The school bus route might cover a different school to the one you think (they do here) I would also suggest state weekly boarding could be a good option to reduce travel time, if that's something your dc is comfortable with. Kids on islands etc grow up knowing they board from 11, my family are in that situation

I went to school miles away (nearest school). My friendship groups changed throughout the six years of high school, but at one point my friends all stayed an hour's drive away (not many buses either). Those friends lasted a year and then we grew apart because they all socialised outside of school and I couldn't join in.

I'm from a village where the catchment is the school I attended. But a very few people from the village went to a different school slightly further away (because it had a slightly different subject offering, though not actually better, just different). These people, despite going to the same primary school as the rest of us, just grew apart from everyone else over time. Even now, many many years later, the main friendship groups of the people who still live in the village are those who all attended the 'standard' school. The few who went to the other school by choice/their parents' choice have less friends.

I would always prioritise social aspects over academic aspects. Social skills and friends have had far more impact on my life than whether I could study French or German. You can always pick up subjects at uni/college/apprenticeship/open uni or whatever if they are really important.

There’s a lot to be said for attending the local school if it’s ‘OK’ - being able to get on the school bus, easier access to friendship groups, going to collect after late rehearsals etc.

What do the other schools have to offer over your local one?

I’d move!! Bloody awful when a teenager with friends and after school sports and activities

@Egghead81

I’d move!! Bloody awful when a teenager with friends and after school sports and activities

And who exactly would keep this country's farming going? You know the milk and cheese and meat and veg that you buy?

And who exactly would keep this country's farming going? You know the milk and cheese and meat and veg that you buy?

I wouldn’t give a fig when it came to my children. I grew up in arse end of no where. I knew I’d never do it to my children

I grew up rurally, my Dad was a farmer.

I had no choice but to spend over an hour on a bus to get to school - perfect for last minute homework/cramming.

All my friends lived miles away, I'm still friends with them now four decades later

For those saying move

Diverse range of activities are only relevant if your DD can actually access them.

Example - DD is into drama and takes part in the school show. As show time approaches she is rehearsing to 6.00pm (or later) 3 evenings a week, plus Saturday mornings. Add an hour's drive and this suddenly looks like hard work. Similar issues for DC who are into music and sports. (Of course, if the entire school catchment is rural, maybe the school accommodates better)

@Egghead81

I’d move!! Bloody awful when a teenager with friends and after school sports and activities

Egghead I do get it and that's why I'm trying to work out what is possible beyond the local arse end of nowhere secondary. But currently we are trapped by the farming commitments.

Hubby is determined she's not going to have the upbringing he had, she competes at a national level in her sport, she swims, we embrace her quirks , and that's why we're casting the net so wide for her.

Her current preference is for single sex. She is also at the age where boarding is school nirvana (too much mallory towers). Unfortunately these are 2 different options

I spend a lot of time in traffic and don’t regret choosing the best for my DC.

If your work is flexible and no other dc to consider then I would look into renting office space near the school/ getting job near school. Once you factor in the fuel, two hours a day work etc. it becomes more viable to stay there. It is a substantial commitment but it is only six years (assuming early driving licence and no younger siblings).

Is weekly boarding an option?

Or do any of the other schools have a very wide catchment?

My DD has a 90 minute commute each way to school, but it works for us as the school has an enormous catchment (lottery and scholarship entry system) and so she's not the only one not local and therefore doesn't miss out on social life as there isn't really one.

School is also much closer to all her extra curricular lessons than our house so she can easily do those after school.

If we hadn't had this option in the state sector, then we had looked at some of the weekly boarding options available... it comes down to whether you can afford that. Worth calculating what you will spend in terms of money and time to facilitate drop-offs and pick-ups in that.

I think you probably need to layer in her swimming commitments into any plan you make. For example, if she has early morning swim training and this already involves an hour's round trip before she even goes to school, then a subsequent long drive to school may be less palatable than if you she can go to a school near the swimming pool and not have to come home between times. Particularly in the winter.

@OhCrumbsWhereNow

Is weekly boarding an option?

Or do any of the other schools have a very wide catchment?

My DD has a 90 minute commute each way to school, but it works for us as the school has an enormous catchment (lottery and scholarship entry system) and so she's not the only one not local and therefore doesn't miss out on social life as there isn't really one.

School is also much closer to all her extra curricular lessons than our house so she can easily do those after school.

If we hadn't had this option in the state sector, then we had looked at some of the weekly boarding options available... it comes down to whether you can afford that. Worth calculating what you will spend in terms of money and time to facilitate drop-offs and pick-ups in that.

That's a good question, thank you. I need to get in touch and ask because the prospectus isn't clear re weekly boarding. I can see why they wouldn't want to offer it, as they'd want to keep a thriving boarding experience across the whole term, but we could make it work if it were an option.

I do 20mins each way twice a day

@UserAtRandom

I think you probably need to layer in her swimming commitments into any plan you make. For example, if she has early morning swim training and this already involves an hour's round trip before she even goes to school, then a subsequent long drive to school may be less palatable than if you she can go to a school near the swimming pool and not have to come home between times. Particularly in the winter.

Absolutely, thank you. She might not continue with her swimming at that level (although she would be closer to a pool) but would want/need to carry on with her martial arts training (which is currently an hour in the other direction )