Choosing a Private Senior School at 13+. Advice Please.

[MrPickles73]

DS1 is in yr 6 at a coed prep and will stay there til yr 8 and move to private senior school for yr 9.
I'm wondering how people go about preparing a short list of schools and how many you visited with / without child.
Ideally we want a day school but I'm not fixed on single sex / coed. More interested in the school itself. If we consider weekly / flexi boarding then there are more options..

We have 2 coed day schools near us which are the obvious choices but our prep school is encouraging us to throw the net wider.. so we can also consider single sex flexi boarding, another coed day, three more coed weekly boarding and another single sex weekly boarding...
So then I have 8 schools in total. All have pros and cons on paper, none seem ideal. Should we visit them all (feels like too many)? Do we need to visit this term? In terms of admissions there is no big rush as non use iseb and either use CE or own exam in yr 8.

Does your school advise on which school would be a good ‘fit’?

Just keep a list of the schools - all the open day dates, application dates, check out their websites for exam results/fees/etc. Also check them out on social media (to see where the skeletons on the cupboards are).

toffeebutterpopcorn I am meeting with the prep school head after half term to discuss and will put significant weight on their advice but wanted to go to the meeting with some background.
Good point re social media..

It’s also good to speak to parents of kids at target schools - and even take a wander past the school at arrival/leaving times and see how the pupils are (do they look happy, are they chatting, are they running out the door screaming?)

You need to determine if you are willing to fund boarding and whether it would suit your ds. What other interests and criteria are important to him and you. Some schools pretest in year 6 or close registration so you may already be late. Is he taking CE as some schools use it for selection, others increasingly don't.

toffeebutterpopcorn this is a good point. Though I find the other parent thing tricky as often families have quite different motives and priorities. But you're quite right - looking at whether these are how we would like our children to turn out is a good point.
LIZS none of these schools rely on a yr 6 pre-test and it seems that with COVID some that do are relaxing this and allowing it to be taken in Yr 7 so I don't think this will be a problem. Funding is an issue but the prep school seems to think DS may be able to get a sizeable scholarship but I expect this will depend on the school. We can afford day fees but with multiple children boarding fees are too high and TBH we wouldnt want him to be a full boarder.

I looked at a ridiculous number of schools, state and private... something like 15 in the end - partly because I really enjoyed having a nose around and partly because we had a very specific checklist.

Easiest way I found of cutting down the numbers was:

• Geography - what was feasible in terms of time and journey to school (for DD if day) and for us as parents (if boarding).
• Specialist interests, did the school cater for them?
• Attitude towards SENs - could they/would they run a mile or be actively helpful
• General feel of the school on the visit. Would I be happy if my child ended up similar to the children taking me round? Did the children and staff seem happy and relaxed? Did the school want individuals or to make everyone fit a certain template? What are the other parents looking round the private schools like (lots of bankers and Russian billionaires, or tweedy farmers and the local GP)?

Did get a little bored with HT speeches (take your own bingo card) and the inside of maths classrooms, but out of 15 schools there were only 4 I really, really liked and a lot that I crossed off the list pretty fast.

Thank you OhCrumbsWhereNow I think my head is starting to clear. I've got 10 but I think I can drop 1..

Our criteria are:

• Either less than 1 hour travel for day
• Less than 1.5 hours for flexi/weekly boarding (We are not up for full boarding)
• Academic and sporty
• Co-ed would be a bonus as we have one of each, both academic and sporty
• Ideally no saturday school (lazy parents)
• Not too flash (lucky no Russian bankers in our 'hood - more tweedy farmers and hunting types). I don't want the children to be entitled - I'd like them to be industrious
• the less expensive the better (though we have eliminated state and the grammars are too far away)

School 1: Single Sex. Highly academic. Only Full Boarding and costs £43k so I'm dropping this..

School 2: Single Sex. Flexi / Weekly Boarding. Saturday school :-( 67 mins away. Costs £36k so would need scholarship/other. Less academic, more sporty

School 3: Single Sex. Not sure about boarding and saturday school :-( 89 mins away. Costs £34k so would need scholarship/other.

School 4: Single Sex. Weekly boarding. No saturday school :-) 78 mins away but also train option. Costs £36k so would need scholarship/other.

School 5: Coed. Flexi boarding. saturday school :-( 78 mins away but also train option. Costs £36k for 3 nights a week so would need scholarship/other. Super glam and sporty but not very academic so I need to drop this one..

School 6: Coed. day / boarding. saturday school :-( 50 mins away but also train option. Costs £27k for day but need scholarship/other. Glam and sporty but not sure how academic.

School 7: Coed. Flexi / weekly boarding. saturday school :-( 75 mins away . Costs £27k for weekly boarding . v country not sure how academic.

School 8: Coed. Day / Boarding . saturday school :-( 41 mins away . Costs £15k for day . Super academic (top 15 in UK) but not v sporty.

School 9: Coed. Weekly Boarding . No saturday school :-) 85 mins away . Costs £25k for weekly boarding . Ok academic and v sporty.

School 10: Coed. Day . No saturday school :-) 64 mins away and train option. Costs £15k . Ok academic . DS already has a place here for Yr 9.

So I can drop schools 1 and 5.
School 8 gets the best academic results and then school 1. School 5 gets the worst results (so the glamour must be the main attraction there? ;-). 2, 6 and 9 are the most sporty.

OhCrumbsWhereNow thankyou for the tip re the bingo card...

You say sporty - are your children sporty in general, or focus on a few.

My DD is very into music and performing arts, she also works professionally so I had questions along the lines of:

• do you take singing seriously as a musical instrument option and what do you provide in terms of teaching staff, choirs etc
• what is your take on children having time out of school for professional work and what can you put in place to facilitate them being educated off site for a chunk of time.

The answers to just those questions were incredibly revealing - some schools were incredibly enthusiastic about singing and could point to all the things they had on offer, others wanted to know if DD might be interested in taking up the oboe as they always needed wind-players for the school orchestras (er, no, she sings, she doesn't want to play the oboe).

On the professional work front, again, some schools were incredibly enthusiastic and could give examples of students doing exactly that and how they have worked with off-site tutors to help facilitate; others said they'd never had to do that... but they had x and y who were in national squads for hockey or equestrian teams and so they had provided support to tutors when they had to miss school, and so could implement the same system; and some looked totally horrified and asked if I'd considered a stage school instead.

If you have - or may need - particular things around a sport or other activity then ask. The response will tell you a lot about how flexible a school will be - and if the response doesn't fit with your needs then that helps write it off.

Hope that helps a bit. Might be an idea to do another post with the names of your favourites and ask for views from parents who have children there.

Believe me, the bingo card is needed. DH and I had a lot of fun with that one.

OhCrumbsWhereNow TBH not so sporty that they will be semi professional but certainly 1st team material. Mostly cricket and hockey but possibly also tennis. We're not that musical...

Honestly I think you may be overthinking it. If he wants to retain his local prep friends look at the day or nearer flexi boarding schools. Those who move away to board tend to lose them. If you are dependant on a scholarship it will be competitive. Is he sporty enough to get a Sports scholarship, play at a high level or just for fun? Will he be better served by the level of school competition or local clubs. Where does he sit academically? How would you needing to travel to and fro every week to boarding school and for events impact on family life?

Scholarships frequently don’t carry much of a fee reduction, if at all. If you can afford £25,000 you might not qualify for a bursary. Also your prep should advise on scholarship applications. Is he in the scholarship set?

You don’t need an obviously sporty school for any child. The sporty schools get county players and getting into any first team is hard. Sometimes being a better fish in a smaller school pond can be a more pleasant experience.

I would think weekly boarding for £25,000 is a bit too cheap! Surely it’s not this in the 6th form?

In all situations - cut your coat according to your cloth! My DDs boarded 45 mins from
Home. We saw them in plays, drama, music etc and attended every parents event. DD2 moves for 6th form - 1 hour away.

I think your DC will turn out as you want them to be. Few DC follow other DC they don’t particularly like and cannot emulate. By affording fees you are somewhat entitled in the first place so just concentrate on bringing up your dc and let others do what they want with theirs. Most people are decent and so are their children. Just accept you are already on the entitled ladder, but not very far up it!

LIZS I think you are right. We have visited the 2 closest schools and perhaps will do a few slightly further out but not get too exotic.

PresentingPercy you are right we will not qualify for a bursary but some schools offer more scholarships than others. I know some schools it is now an honorary 0% but my nephew for example has a 50% sports scholarship so it depends on the school.

DS1 is a county player in a main sport so this should be ok and academic scholarship set. Choosing a non sporty school which doesn't play his sport would be an error surely as this would mean increased ferrying.

School fees are certainly horses for courses - so there is a school with £25k weekly boarding and equally I saw CLC is £43k for full boarding.
We are 30 mins from our prep school where the children are day pupils and its really fab in terms of transport. We don't have any desire to drive 100s of miles.

Are you sure 50% sport is off all fees? Often these high amounts are academic or for very gifted sports DC. So country representation.

I didn’t understand that some schools didn’t offer his sport. So yes, they should offer it. However when DDs were at school they had a world junior champion in athletics and she didn’t train at school! Nor did the gymnasts. Teams were hockey, badminton, tennis, swimming, plus a few others I’ve now forgotten. Other schools do LAX and DD2’s old 6th form school did this.

I think trying to narrow down the schools will help based on academics, sport, cost and nearness. We found 1 hour fine. 1.5 hours is a bit far if you are in and out all the time.

Regarding academics, what record does your prep have at getting scholarships? First class or only 1-2 a year? Where to? You would need to look at scholarship size too and what the discount refers to. At our old schools - not much discount for the vast majority as it was diverted to bursaries to comply with being a charity.

If you cannot afford CLC, (or similar) then put it out of your mind. Another way of looking at it: one aspirational, one probable and one nailed on. Where are her friends trying for? We had loads go to CLC and WA from DD2’s prep. These days parents look to a wider range of schools and certainly chase scholarships! So sometimes you have to compromise. Lesser school but less competition for the money!

PresentingPercy yes I'm sure. He started on a 30% scholarship and they upped it to 50% day fees (he is a day pupil). He is extremely 'useful' at football, cricket and hockey.
Getting a scholarship to an uber competitive school e.g. Eton / WA, is without doubt unlikely but there are plenty of schools beyond the home counties that as our prep HT said 'still need students who will get the A*s'.
The prep has an excellent track record with scholarships and some children get more than one scholarship to the same school. It was the HT that suggested we consider more schools as we could apply for scholarships.
He already has a place at one of the schools so that is in the bag. Its just with COVID he hasnt visited any and we've only seen the nearest two!
I think you're right about an hour is a reasonable max otherwise it curtails parent involvement.
I can understand that gymnastics, swimming and athletics are quite specialist but most schools have team sports. However the v academic school near us is an international school so they play football, basketball and volleyball. No cricket / rugby.

are you talking about scholarships, or bursaries?

I agree. There are less competitive schools where dc can thrive. Dds old school is often national tennis champions (27 courts at school) and are excellent at hockey. They offer sports scholarships but not 50 per cent. Tennis scholars used to have a reduced timetable to train. Not sure about now, but sport was taken very seriously. At times, too seriously!

DD is in what turns out to be our nearest Indie. Admittedly we are townies, but it is jolly helpful having friends nearby during the school holidays! I think kids need local friends (thought you could achieve this with extra-curricular stuff).

One of my brothers boarded and hated having no friends nearby (though did get added to some lovely holidays as "company").

I'm very impressed by your scholarship %. Round here is is about £1-2k off the annual fee.

Madcats they first attended the village primary so we do have chums in the village so this is not a big problem but you are right - I am not desperate to drive big distances. I am thinking less than an hour for daily commute (3 schools) and less than 1.5 hrs for weekly boarding. Does that seem reasonable?

Would you be driving DC to these schools (so 4 journeys/day for you), or is there a bus/train?

Look at how the school day pans out and whether the boarding schools expect day pupils to stay to do prep.

E.g DD's school day is 8:30-4pm (but invariably with a couple of 8am starts and 5/6:30 finishes for clubs etc) whereas the school up the road wants them there until 6:30 plus Saturdays.

Madcats you are quite right. Our preference would be no saturday school. Two of the 3 day schools have train options and one of the weekly boarding one has a train option. I'm starting to conclude that in order to go for anything other than the nearest 3 the school would need to be pretty amazing and we'd need some incentive like a sizeable scholarship. Otherwise its just not worth the frazzlement. I've discounted two on the basis they are too expensive, don't offer weekly boarding and have saturday school. Weekly boarding with saturday school is pretty much the same as full boarding?

Those with no Saturday school normally have fixtures on Saturdays which also eat into weekend time and may be expected to take precedence over club sports or other extra curricular activities.

LIZS that's a good point - I wouldnt be looking to entertain saturday fixtures. DO senior schools not do wednesday afternoons? Or both?

Ime both, or if no fixture, training sessions.

If you want your DS to be in the team then I imagine you should expect Saturday fixtures. Unless things have changed, I can't imagine a school that avoids them unfortunately and scholarship pupils in particular have an expectation of full attendance.