Independent School Newbie Advice

[PutYourBackIntoit]

We've decided to move our dd to a non selective independent school for yr8. She's currently in yr7.
There's really only one option near to us, that fits our criteria, so I'm hoping they have space for her. This is Westonbirt school. I've contacted admissions so hopefully we can have a good chat after Easter.

What questions do I need to be asking the school, and ourselves?

The main ones I can think of, are in regards to money. This will not be a walk in the park for us, but a priority for her education that we are happy to make. She is bright but has very slow processing and is finding the large mainstream she currently attends very challenging.
Our ds and other dd will have to continue in mainstream throughout, but from what we've seen so far, they will both do well wherever they go, and I'm certain they will understand why dd1 needs this change.

Is it usual to pay by DD per month or do you tend to pay upfront per term?
What contingency will we need? Uniforms don't seem too expensive (no blazer).
Would a 15% contingency be enough for trips/extras?
We would fund this with our salaries rather than with any savings, but would have 1 terms fees in the back pocket just in case.
Dh has been in his job for ever, and I work for nhs so both fairly reliable incomes.

I feel a little green about what else I should be asking. I've done a ton of research on the school (and others). I do think it fits, but as someone who went to a fairly bog standard comp some of the vocab is new to me i.e what is an exeat day? Is it an inset day?

Any advise, any caution, any first hand experience going through similar or of the school itself is very welcome!

We found extras averaged around 10% but it will vary depending on if lunches are included, or bus fare, exam fees etc. You may be able to spread payments but a deposit plus a term in advance may be due immediately to secure a place. Then fees due at beginning of each term.

Is it selective, will they need to assess your dd? Is there support for her processing issues, if so who should you discuss it with and might there be additional cost if one to one sessions or assessments are required. Could she visit for a trial day?

I have friends with DD's at the school and it has a reputation as a lovely nurturing environment that attracts those who have struggled in more academic fee paying schools or large state schools.
It isn't posh (despite the historic buildings) so I think you will feel fine and won't feel out on a limb.
It doesn't get stellar A Levels results but it doesn't sound like that is what you are after.
Both the head of the Senior and Junior schools were state educated and have a really lovely, accessible way about them. I hope your DD has a lovely time.

VOCAB!
Prep - homework
Mufti - home clothes (ie if it is a mufti day then they can wear normal clothes)
Exeat (for boarders) - is a weekend at home
Speech Day - happens at the end of the year, a sort of open day when parents come in, look at work and art etc, and hear a speech from the head.

As @LIZS says! Don’t assume anything other than basic tuition is included in the fees as it varies massively from school to school. If your daughter has SEN, the most important thing to confirm is the cost of any support lessons she may need. They may well charge for group lessons or individual sessions and it can add up. If you can, make sure this is put in writing for future reference.

Exeat= Usually an extended weekend (days differ from school to school) to balance the fact that many boarding schools expect children to work on Saturday mornings and be involved in sport on Saturday afternoons. They may happen once every half term (varies from school to school).

Inset= teacher training day.

Feel free to PM me if you have similar questions.

Thank you all!

@LIZS it's Non selective, although they do CATS to assess if they will be able to access the curriculum. I'm hoping given dd's recent Ed Psych cognitive assessment report, they may take that instead, but we'll see. I expect she'll need 6 months to a year of confidence boosting /precision teaching intervention and I've factored in an assumption of 1 a week for that but we'll have to see what they think.

@Oohhhbetty wonderful to hear the reputation is as I expected. You're right, we're not looking for the best academically, we only want her to get grades that give her options and that she can be proud of, and to find her self esteem again. It's on the floor atm. Thanks for the vocab tips. Have never heard of Mufti!

@BustopherPonsonbyJones She will need extra time for exams, but other than that clear teaching, smaller classes, checking with her that she's understood, and giving her some feedback really is all that should be required. It worked brilliantly at primary, but secondary has been a disaster, not helped with Covid of course! She doesn't have an IEP. She's just a quiet, well behaved, hardworking girl who is totally under the radar at the moment, underachieving and miserable.
Thank you all so much for your help!

They should have the financial info on their web site. Don’t mention you are scraping the fees together but ask about extra costs if it’s not clear. At my DDs school, everything was included but not extra SEN support.

I think they would want to assess her. They would want to know if they can meet her needs. Don’t assume great teaching at independent schools. It can be variable: as elsewhere.

School trips can be expensive. This might be difficult if you have other DC not having these experiences. Although my DDs boarded, we attended loads of events at school. The Friends Association was very active. It meant you got to know other parents. Support your DD in everything she does and encourage her to do as much as possible. It certainly helps with confidence.

We paid up front to get a discount. Usually it’s one term in advance. One term contingency isn’t much. I also hope your other DC don’t miss out financially. This is vast sums being spent on one DC. You don’t appear well off so the others will never be compensated. We treated ours exactly the same. That was the only way we would have used private schools.

They have a detailed fee document. There is a school coat. Not a blazer. The coat is mandatory I think. This is likely to cost more than a blazer. There is also a gilet. Is there a secondhand shop?

When you say she will need extra times for exams, does she have a diagnosis such as dyslexia, dyspraxia etc? They won't just give her extra time in exams "because she needs it". She will need a confirmed report outlining why she would be entitled. If she doesn't have that already, they won't diagnose her for you but will facilitate her being formerly assessed, especially if the SENCO agrees there is a problem.

@PresentingPercy thanks, I hadn't considered that the school coat may be mandatory. We won't exactly be scraping the fees together, but we will have to be much more thoughtful with our spends from now on. We bring in joint income of £120k, but only recently as I've been part time till 2nd lockdown (hence not a lot of savings) and we have a modest house and mortgage.

Without going into too much detail, I don't think the other dc will miss out. I see this as rebalancing. My other dc are naturally confident, resilient, academically achieving children, they go to clubs and are sporty. If my ds wanted to he could sit the 11+, too early to tell with dd2. We will still be able to go on a holiday away, plus camping trips as we usually do!

Dd1 has slow processing and this hugely affects her self esteem. She is generally bright (75th percentile for all other metrics) and 5th percentile for processing speed. We have detailed cognitive assessments from camhs @PricklesAndSpikes which state she requires extra time, and more importantly explains why she finds so much in life a frustration.
From what I've seen, Westonbirt would help nuture her and enable her to see her strengths. She's a very resourceful, creative, hardworking, funny child.
The large, chaotic classes in her current school fill her with dread every day.

I do hope they feel they can meet her needs!

Diagnosis is irrelevant for additional time in exams. Whether you do or do not have a diagnosis you still have to take an assessment to qualify. If her processing is slow she will qualify, you just need to ensure that the school do assess her. Has she seen an educational psychologist? Some kids do just have slow processing but usually it’s linked to a neurodevelopmental disorder such as dyspraxia or dyslexia.
Being fair to your children is not always about being equal, if one has a disability sometimes they may need more money spent on them, just one of those things

Find out about the secondhand uniform sale (there usually is one) for coats and expensive branded items - there's no stigma attached, it's what all the smart families do, as uniform gets lost, damaged and even stolen. It may even be that the coat is an item which doesn't get worn much.
Yr8 is not a normal entry point, so you might have to help your daughter make friends (playdates /trips etc when possible) and network with the other parents in year a bit (there may be WhatsApp group etc)

Also plan for the fact that independent school fees rise faster than inflation - sometimes 10% a year! - so make sure your budget can cover it. Might be worth asking the school for a history of school fees so you can see the trend?

Second hand uniform shops are used by everyone. It is more unusual to see new uniform! Westonbirt sounds lovely and I am sure your daughter will thrive there.

Just check with the school what is included. It was only music lessons and trips that were extra at ours. And some went on trips and some didn't and we never were aware who did and who didn't as there was no pressure to attend these.

As others have said second hand uniform shop is well used by all.

Definitely speaking to their Learning Support team.

The fee document is on line and anyone can read it. I did!

Coats are usually mandatory in private schools. DC go on trips, might watch sports matches and are usually required to wear coats around school when it’s cold. Uniform coats. 6th form usually gets a choice. Mufti days DC can wear what they want.

Thanks @BustopherPonsonbyJones, I hope youre right and she does thrive there.

I'll absolutely be checking out the second hand uniform, no need to spend more than necessary! She'll be pleased to not have a tie!
The only question I have remaining re fees is lunches and breakfast/after school arrangements & costs. I've got a chat with them booked for Thursday, so I'll ask. I hate doing packed lunches. Hate, hate! So naturally I'll be over the moon if they're included, or reasonably priced.

I'll definitely make an effort to get to know other parents. I'm pretty good at setting people at ease, and i feel I can find common ground with nearly everyone, so I'm not worried about that. I think dd is fairly similar to me in this respect, but as her confidence is rock bottom atm it may be a slow burn, building friendships.

BTW the coat is £33! Cheaper than the hoodie

I'm also going to ask about the potential of starting before yr7 ends, so she doesn't have the whole summer catastrophising what it will be like.

Thanks everyone for your help, it's much appreciated

As it’s a boarding school where lunches are included, everywhere, I would be amazed if any dc took in packed lunches. Usually DC eat in their houses or in a main dining hall. This is a small school and I would expect pupils to eat together. They don’t mention charging extra for meals.

I would ask about how day pupils are Integrated into the house system. At boarding schools, the houses are important and have a pastoral care function. I would ask what the day pupils get.

The coat is very cheap. Is that why they have a gilet and hoodie? Is it more of a waterproof? You also have a fee structure from years 7-13. That makes it easier to plan. Usually there is a hike in y12. Sometimes in y9 too.

Not all schools do offer secondhand uniform shops by the way. Neither of the schools DD attended did. It’s worth asking, but don’t expect this.

I think it might be a good idea to try and start her. You get a bit of time to settle in and meet other pupils. When do they choose GCSEs? Y9 or y10?

It can be quite easy for DDs to get a bit keen to fit in with others. Schools produce hoodies for everything! I’ve just turned out a dance hoodie, badminton hoodie, Music tour hoodie, French trip hoodie and house hoodies and random ones from other schools - my DDs left school 10 and 7 years ago!

Thank you @PresentingPercy really good to get small details about what's usual for things like lunches.

I had a chat with her yesterday. She says she wants to move schools but that she 'can't' (social worries). So I think this tells me we need to move her, and we will need to be ready for it to be quite a difficult time for her.
We have a call with admissions tomorrow.

I think apprehension is natural. I always felt my DD hadn’t gelled with her cohort at primary and when she wasn’t invited to quite big parties, it seemed the best way out was not to go to secondary school with any of them. Fortunately DD thought the schools we looked at were her dream schools and the local girls’ grammar wasn’t.

I found that looking at the fun things the school does and what it can offer over and above the local school will help. Maybe something to get excited about. It can be hard for some DC to tear themselves away from the familiar but keep being positive and the new start will be a success.

Also reassure her that it is fine and normal to be apprehensive and anxious. It is all to easy to assume it should be straightforward and easy but most kids would find it tricky to move even if they brazen it out.

Extras for us are just lunch, elective one to one music lessons, optional trips and certain optional clubs/activities like registration for DofE. (No laptop or iPads to buy or pay for ! Phew)
The school’s coats and bags aren’t mandatory, they just need to be dark with no obvious logos brands. The school jumper, needs to be black, v neck and no obvious brand, and the shirts have to be white, but could be any brand.
Gives quite a bit of freedom !
Fees normally escalate around 4% per year (except Covid years).
Unlike other many indies around us, they have not gone for BYOD nor have we been asked to buy a particular portable device to bring to school.
I am particular pleased with that as I don’t want DC to be on a screen at school and they have already very high specifications non portable device at home.
But I would really recommend to check what the situation is at your school as I have seen some schools asking parents to buy devices with screens that can be handwritten on but also have keyboard and 6/7 hours plus battery life etc so necessarily the sort you would buy a teenager to carry to school everyday on public transport etc !!

Is there public transport to Westonbirt?

How did your chat go OP? I usually find if schools list out uniform and have a supplier, they expect you to buy it. I have never found a choice in this. I doubt Westonbirt gives one.

Does anyone know of any independent schools that I can send my child to in Birmingham?

We were new to the indie world a couple of years ago, so know how you feel. With fees, I don't know what the norm is but I just pay by bank transfer a couple of days before they're due each term (I prefer not to opt for DD, because I need to move the money from one account to another to pay for them, so I like to control the payment date). Extras seem to vary widely between schools; we have compulsory lunch included in the fees, so apart from individual music lessons (which are optional of course), there's hardly ever any extras on the bill. The odd social event and day trip, but they're not expensive (the last one was £7!). The sports uniform is expensive (normal uniform is in line with the local state schools, if not cheaper), but the second hand shop is fab. I would double check that the kids actually need everything on the uniform list before you buy it (for example, ours says that a smart overcoat is required, but absolutely nobody wears one). Ditto sports kit - try to find out what they need when, as you don't want to shell out for tennis kit in September only to discover that they won't need it until May, by which time they'll probably have grown out of it. Otherwise, enjoy the benefits. We've found there's a huge amount going on at the school, for parents as well as students - lots of music and drama events, talks and lectures, low cost use of the sports facilities etc. And the 'service' (for want of a better word) is great - I still haven't got over my joy at discovering that if there's any sort of fixture, trip or event, the kids are not only transported but also provided with packed lunches. The little things!

@Alex47

Does anyone know of any independent schools that I can send my child to in Birmingham?

What age and sex are they? Are they above average academically?