English curriculum - coping strategy for sensitive child

[jsp56]

Hi,

I wondered if I could ask for some advice about helping a very sensitive child cope with the darker bits of the English curriculum?

My son is currently year 6 and has found some of the texts this year impossibly difficult to cope with. Specifically:

• the child abuse scenes in Goodnight Mr Tom
• drowning scene at the beginning of Pig Heart Boy, as well as the general peppering of the text with the language of anxiety. Also the medical content.
• The throat slitting and train death bits in the first few chapters of Trash.

We got round these issues by me reading the book with him and paraphrasing the text for him when he had to skip bits because they were too grim. We just didn't read Pig Heart Boy because it was too challenging and we were on home school so could do other books.

We had these three books in a row and my son is now getting really worried about what he will have to cope with in secondary school and how he will manage. I wondered if anyone might know whether the secondary school books are also very dark like this? I know they are doing "A Monster Calls" first in year 7, but I don't know much about the book.

My son is a bit ASD but was not given a diagnosis on assessment as he is judged to be coping. He has a lot of anxiety about medical issues after having had forced medical treatement repeatedly as a baby, toddler and young child.

We have book another ASD assessment and I am working with child and adult psychologists to try to help address the anxiety issues.

My son loves rather gentle, beautiful music and literature, like The Portrait of Lady by Henry James and the second movement of Shostakovich Piano concerto No.2, but he can also cope with fairly dark/medical stuff like The Midnight Gang by David Walliams.

I'm partly just wondering if these books that we studied at school this year were particularly dark for the age group, and if maybe things will be that little bit better in secondary school?

Thanks so much for thinking about it.

I think you need to ask not only about the English texts, but also about the drama curriculum. We've had more issues with drama than English.

You need to ask his school what texts will be covered. I have twins at different schools - both have been given different texts. My son did books in year 7 that my daughter's school are covering at the end of her year 9. I have been a bit surprised myself at the violence in some of the classics!

Gosh! I hadn't thought about drama.

It's interesting to hear that others have seen the same problems. Do you think this is just a problem across the board then?

I find it bizarre that we are having assemblies about "supporting young people's mental health" and then they are being given books like this to read, with no alternative for those who can't cope with them.

I wondered about asking the private schools if they are doing the same, but I haven't done that yet.

Yes, private schools do the same.

I went to our local library with the recommended reading list and the librarian commented that these were 'depressing reads' and how strange that they don't have more suitable books these days.

Pig hearted boy was on there too and DD read it before I realised.

One of the recommended books was "I, Coriander' and I read it before giving it to DD and I found it disturbing, with graphic domestic violence scenes.

Luckily that was meant to be 'summer reading', so I chucked it in the bin.

Some of my working toke touches on CAMHS, and I have come across concerns raised by a service user about studying Romeo and Juliet, which of course deals with teenagers taking their own lives.

Thing is, it us going to come up; for me it's about how it's handled, and perhaps what alternatives are offered. R&J is a standard GCSE text and the other popular one is Macbeth of course, which is equally grim tho apart from Lady M (?) there is no actual suicide.

It's tricky isn't it as teachers need to pick engaging texts. I would certainly ask the school and flag it up as a concern, ask what adjustments they could make.

What about history? Some less than pleasant events covered there. And religious studies. Or is he ok if things are presented factually?

Those texts sound standard for Year 6. I agree you should ask your school but some of the texts my DC read in KS3 were

• The boy in the stiped pyjamas (about the Holocaust)
• Salem (witches and witch trials)
• A Christmas Carol (ghost and general eeriness)
• Hamlet (killing)

And sorry but you also probably need to check the RE curriculum, not for specific texts, but certainly some of the topics covered can be quite hard-hitting - it's not all caring and sharing like at primary school level.

My best friend is an English teacher and these kind of requests drive her mad, because the books are set well in advance and the lesson planning etc is done. Shes sympathetic to students but it’s not in her gift to get the whole department to change everything round because of the minority. Plus part of studying English literature and language is dealing with challenging texts, especially if he might end up studying these or similar subjects at a higher level.

Drama I think is very different because of the more physical component to a lot of the content.

Your best bet will be to get a copy of the curriculum at the school, read the books yourself to check them over and then ask him to read them - maybe with markers on the difficult pages and the rule that when he gets to a marker he comes to you and you read it together.
Definitely flag to school, but don’t expect them to change the curriculum round. You could maybe ask for some sort of pass he can use in an English lesson if he’s finding it a bit much, for at least the first term of Year 7. Ultimately though, the strategy has to be building resilience. Could he try reading some slightly more mature books without that content to build his confidence in reading about more difficult issues, then moving onto the ones he finds really difficult.

DD2's school covers some of PSHE in drama, so violence, knife crime, suicide, drugs. A lot of swearing in some scripts. DD found y9 quite hard as she is emotionally a bit behind her peers.

DD1 did LOTF for GCSE - I find that book personally really disturbing. I was so grateful it wasn't on the list for DD2.

They will study different genres during KS3, both reading and writing. In your position I would contact the Head of English / Head of year 7 / Pastoral no earlier than July to enquire about the curriculum. before July they will be too busy with settling in existing pupils, catching up, GCSEs etc etc.

Have you raised it with the school? That does seem like a fairly dark, and not very varied, collection of texts for 10 and 11 year olds to do one after the other. David Walliams stories are a world apart as although they have gruesome elements, they're usually quite silly, caricatures and feel less real which may be why he is better able to cope with them.

A Monster Calls is a young adult book and tackles some tricky themes so it's probably a good idea for you to read it before he does so you're able to offer reassurance if he needs it. That said, I often find that when reading independently, children tend to take from books what they're ready to and gloss over some of the aspects that as adults, we might worry about so it's worth being aware that he may need to be given the space to do this. Perhaps it would be worth looking into getting an audio book for him so he's able to listen to it instead of needing to read it with you if he struggles with the actual reading side of it?

My Y7 DC is reading Montmorency at school. It's the first book in a series of young adult historical crime novels so isn't exactly sweetness and light but is set in Victorian times so lots of what happens feels far removed from life in 2021. The school lists the books it studies in the KS3 curriculum pages of the website so it's possible your DS's school will do too, likewise for drama. How does your DS cope with the history curriculum at primary school?

I haven't read the book but saw a recorded version of the play and it was very emotional. The boys mum is dying of cancer and it's all about him coming to terms with it, I thought although it was very good it was quite harrowing. Mine has ASD and hasn't seen it yet and is several years older than your son, I have the film and will have him watch it as death and dealing with death is a reality that has to be come to terms with at some point but I would anticipate that your son might find it quite upsetting. xxx

Shostakovich and Henry James?

I would say to him it's not surprising that he finds these texts a bit scary or sad, they are a bit scary or sad and he isn't used to this sort of stuff. But it is only words and it's safe, it's to help us empathize with other lives, other situations and he feels it deeply because he is a kind person. He won't be the only one who cried at Mr Tom. The writer put that in because sadly these sorts of things do sometimes happen, but these characters are fictional and none of this really happened.

I am not sure that avoiding the books or passages will help him learn perspective or resilience.

Of course he may well be an adult who chooses to steer away from true crime or horror films - like me!

Our school tea he's the kids about FGM in y8 and they learn about Sexting, grooming, gangs, knife crime and County Lines in PSHE from y7. Y8 they cover drugs including the nastiest stuff like meth

In y8 they did a unit on dystopian fiction. This might be because Hunger Games was at the height of popularity but my kids enjoyed writing about zombies.

Finding out what books he will meet in English/drama and reading them in advance at home seems the best approach. I remember being very relieved that I had read ahead in one of the books I read at school, because it made me cry the first time I read it. Knowing what was coming, I was then okay at school.

If you talk nicely to the special needs department, they might think around the other subjects and what else might be an issue (eg PSHE, RE, history). Again, you can't get the curriculum changed, but you might be able to prepare him, or alert the staff that he may struggle.

He may begin to cope better as he gets older. DD's friend found even Famous Five too traumatic until most of the way through primary, and used to dread "story assembly", but I think she's been fine in secondary.

Does your ds watch cartoons and action movies on telly, OP? stuff with superheroes with big guns?

It sounds as though the right thing is to ask for the reading lists, so I can read ahead and have it all thought our myself so I'm ready to help him with his own reactions to the books.

Thanks for letting me know. I had no idea about the gangs and sexting and county lines stuff. He's going to be extremely well informed at the end of all that.

I remember dealing with stuff like this myself at school though, so I'm sure we can find a way. Thanks a million for all your thoughts. I appreciate knowing what I need to get ready for.

I think this subject could be considered sorted now thanks!

He reads Henry James too? alongside David Walliams?

Yes he likes beautiful music and books. He's a committed fan of Gilbert and Sullivan and reads the libretto along while watching staged versions of the operettas on tv. Loves the film of A Room With A View. Also big enthusiasm for Donizetti staged operas when he was two and three years old. He writes music with lovely harmony and interesting complex rhythms and has entered composition competitions quite successfully.

I showed him Henry James this week, just out of interest, and got a resounding YES. When we had to ditch Pig Heart Boy during lockdown, we worked through translations of Mozart Operas and that hit the spot nicely.

I just feel sad that they have to focus so much on grim literature when there is so much beauty and culture available to be enjoyed as well. And then they say "mental health matters" and I am not really convinced that they understand what actually underpins mental health.

Goodnight Mr Tom is beautiful. It's not just grim. It's about love and loyalty.

Parenting an older child is in part about fitting them for adulthood and ensuring they can manage the ups and downs of life. Young teen literature is often used as a safe space to explore some of these themes. That's ok. You can't protect your child from mild peril in a fictional book forever. On the other hand it's also not a great idea to advocate they watch snuff movies or play ultra violent realistic computer games. Balance is key.

What literature would you recommend, OP?and at which stages of school?

As an aside, the film version of Room with a View has male full frontal nudity in it OP - so I guess you aren't averse to that sort of thing in your ds's cultural diet?

@jsp56

It sounds as though the right thing is to ask for the reading lists, so I can read ahead and have it all thought our myself so I'm ready to help him with his own reactions to the books.

Thanks for letting me know. I had no idea about the gangs and sexting and county lines stuff. He's going to be extremely well informed at the end of all that.

I remember dealing with stuff like this myself at school though, so I'm sure we can find a way. Thanks a million for all your thoughts. I appreciate knowing what I need to get ready for.

I think this subject could be considered sorted now thanks!

Encourage him to read them ahead. That way if he has reactions he can have them in private (with you). You having already read them is great when he gets home, but not much help if he's shocked/emotional at school.

Our secondary is very focused on learning centred around Remembrqnce every November with lots of poetry and stories about life in the trenches etc. I don't know if it's a National Curriculum thing ?

@jsp56

Yes he likes beautiful music and books. He's a committed fan of Gilbert and Sullivan and reads the libretto along while watching staged versions of the operettas on tv. Loves the film of A Room With A View. Also big enthusiasm for Donizetti staged operas when he was two and three years old. He writes music with lovely harmony and interesting complex rhythms and has entered composition competitions quite successfully.

I showed him Henry James this week, just out of interest, and got a resounding YES. When we had to ditch Pig Heart Boy during lockdown, we worked through translations of Mozart Operas and that hit the spot nicely.

I just feel sad that they have to focus so much on grim literature when there is so much beauty and culture available to be enjoyed as well. And then they say "mental health matters" and I am not really convinced that they understand what actually underpins mental health.

It sounds like he didn't have much exposure to broad literature as a younger child then? Did you read any of the Childrens Classics to him, most deal with death and disease, any Grimm Fairytales, Pinocchio? I still remember being read Pinocchio (in the original) by my mother, and also the Little Match Girl, The Tin Soldier etc etc.

I think he really needs to be exposed to these more. Exposure therapy, under guidance by a therapist, is actually a great way to deal with mental health disturbances due to bad experiences. DD had it to deal with her anxiety over "the dead", it really worked, but you have to keep it up.