Mega wobble about private school, please tell me it's been okay for others

[goingpearshaped]

DD is off to our local private school. She loved it from the start and it is without a doubt the right school for her. She is in a state school and I went to a state school too so all new to us. The fees are huge to us (although the cheapest of the private schools in the area). We did not get our state choice and the one she would have gone to is not ideal to say the least in my opinion.

I am wobbling because of the finances. She got a 10% scholarship but not bursary (we must have just been over). We can manage her but I am really wobbling about the possibility of having two children there (other DD in yr 4 currently). I have budgeted and know we can do it if we save save save until yr 4 DD goes but still, it's such a lot of money.

I love the school and the pastoral care is amazing. It will help yr6 DD who has struggled so much with confidence lately. It's a perfect fit for her. Are there others who have done this and it's been okay (or even the definite right decision?)

She was never able to go on trips, never able to go out on weekends, didn't want to invite us to her house as she thought we'd judge her for being poor (we wouldn't, we loved her!) she told me once she wishes she had never gone as she felt out of place for 6 years

The flip side of this is that our house is small and scruffy but my dc were privately educated as grandparents paid for it.
My dc weren’t remotely embarrassed asking their rich friends over. We don’t have heating upstairs and the friends loved having a log fire in their bedroom.
If children are living cheek by jowl they tend to judge their peers on their characters rather than parents bank balance.

That’s a good point someone has made about bursaries and school trips. We won’t be able to afford them - however, my parents have said that they will pay for one (she is on a sports scholarship & in year 10 & 11 they go on a training camp in half term abroad for a week - not strictly necessary but kind of expected & also hugely beneficial training wise) so I’d think if it were questioned we could get away with it! Being given £1000 towards a camp isn’t the same as them being able to help with the fees, which they can’t, so I’d hope the distinction is clear. We certainly couldn’t afford ski trips, holidays to New York to go to art museums etc etc