"Pupils who lose friends in school move may fail to flourish" - is this what we've condemned our dd to??

[overthehill]

I saw this article mentioned in Mumsnet news roundup and it made me feel awful as this has just happened to our dd. To be fair to us, she was in agreement over choice of school, but she is really missing her friends. What experiences do other people have of this, good or bad?

I think you need to go in to the school and let them know how she is feeling. Find out how she comes across in school. I would do this as soon as possible in light of what she has written

I can sympathise as around here we change schools at 13, which is a difficult age as it is. Ds1 has just moved into a new school in a different town to where we live. He has gone with two of his best friends, who he has known since nursery, but he keeps reminding me he doesn't know anyone else - which I know is a slight exaggeration as plenty of his football team go to the school.

Update: things seem a little better over the last couple of days, possibly only because it's the weekend, but in some ways the fact that she's talking about it seems like a good sign. I've also spoken to another family whose daughter really struggled in her first term but loves it now (she's in Year 8), & it might be good if dd could chat to her. Dd's got a 3 day residential the week after next & I'll definitely have a word with her teacher before that if things haven't improved over the next week.

Overthehill - I had a quick look at the article and read through some of this thread. I would like to offer you reassurance with my dd2's experience. She went to a very small (one class per year), close knit primary, and was the only one from her year to go to her secondary school (we wanted her to go to the same excellent school as her older sister). TBH there was a bit of nastiness in the last few terms of primary, as the 'herd' turned on her as she wouldn't be going to the same secondary (ah, 11-year-old girls, so lethal...) I was very worried how she would get on at secondary, as at primary she could be quite shy, but she has thrived, both socially and academically. She has made a good group of friends and stayed pretty much with them, occasionally adding new friends. She has really learned good social skills from the experience and been very happy. Yes, having an older sister there has probably helped, but she tends to avoid her sister at school and want to do her own thing. Hope this helps.

Relieved to hear things are a little better!

I moved to a school where I knew no-one. By the end of day one I had a new best friend and never looked back. It all depends on personality and the kind of kids at the school

oth - i moved alot as a child - a new school evry 18 mths. no denying it was hard but learnt some valuable skills in being the new girl and getting on with people.
when i went to grammar school - i knew noone and hated it for the whole 1st term up to xmas. dreaded going back after hols but it just clicked, i found others a bit more like me and i loved that school.
keep talking to her, let her vent it all but also give it time.x