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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Original poster

Secondary school

29 replies

emma1988 · 01/03/2021 14:25

Help. So my daughter goes to her dad's for a week and stays with mum for a week. Dad lives in a different county around 30mins away. We can not agree on secondary school for September. Both parents applied with different school choices so council didn't process either application. No school place has been offered. Council are suggesting if parents can't decide on 3 schools for application no school will be offered and both parents taken to court for no education. Can anyone tell me if this is true as they originally said if parents couldn't give 3 choices which were agreed the council would just place in a school with places.

OP posts:
Biscuitsneeded · 01/03/2021 14:29

Has either of you stopped to think what this must be doing to your DD? Not knowing where she will be going, thinking her parents are so determined each to have their own way that they can't put her first? Suggest you ask DD to make the choice, and failing that, apply for whatever school the majority of her primary classmates will be going to. Poor kid deserves a little stability.

AlexaShutUp · 01/03/2021 14:32

Poor child!

You and your ex need to get past the disagreements and put your dd first. You both need to compromise - there must be schools in between your respective homes? Please put your dd first and get this sorted.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2021 14:34

You made an incorrect application and now need to sort the mess out.

Start by finding out what schools are still available and what schools have working lists etc and which are convenient for both of you.

meditrina · 01/03/2021 14:36

It is entirely correct for the council not to adjudicate a parental dispute over educational decisi NHS.

When there are two applications for one child, it is entirely correct to process neither until parents can clarify which application is the one to be taken forward

It is also correct to remind parents that if the DC is out of education in September, parents can be prosecuted.

Your school choices have already been limited by missing all the normal applications deadlines. You now, in either area, will have the choice of undersubscribed schools only

So she's unlikely to be moving with her friends, and schools which have vacancies might be convenient for neither parental address.

Basically, the parents need to step up and get this sorted out. No-one else is going to do it for them, and as pp says the only person who suffers is DD.

Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 14:37

I have put catchment school and the school where around half of the y6s are going then 2 other local schools to primary. Dad has put a school near him a school about 30mins travelling each and the school my DD has chosen. I can not physically get to the 2 schools dad has chosen due to younger children at school (I can't be at both schools at the same time) and the school DD has chosen I will have to move younger siblings school to enable getting both there. Which isn't straight forward and the main for this been her number 1 choice is they don't wear uniform. Which academically I don't feel a good reason so don't feel I can warrant the change for other kids. If that makes sense.

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 01/03/2021 14:42

In cases like this, parents are expected to come to an agreement as to where the child will go, if there is truly 50/50 and no court order making a determination as to the child's main address. As you have discovered, competing applications in this circumstances will normally not be processed.

If you cannot, and continue to disagree, then one of you will need to go to court for a Specific Issues Order to determine the outcome. This will be determined on the best interests of the child (ie. it doesn't always go with the parent who makes the application.)

I would agree with the PP though that by far the best outcome is for you to determine this yourselves. Getting a SIO may take months.

Do you have what they originally said in writing?

Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 14:42

Dad lived in the same area until December and moved out of the area after the application went in then put his own in for different schools. I have suggested mediation but he has refused. I have seeked legal advice for court and will cost starting from 2500 which my finances don't stretch to so looks like I am stuck now.

OP posts:
Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 14:44

Nothing in writing as we spoke face to face :-(

OP posts:
PatriciaHolm · 01/03/2021 14:44

A secondary school child would be expected to get themselves to and from school. Is this not an option?

As already said, you really need to sort this yourselves. Court would be the last and least option IMO.

titchy · 01/03/2021 14:48

Well it's entirely possible none of your, or your ex's choices of schools have spaces now.

Do you understand that you don't get to choose a school, only express a preference. If she lives too far away from your ex's choices she wouldn't have been offered a place.

What a shame neither of you could act like adults for the sake of your child. However you resolve this she's now relying on waiting lists.

titchy · 01/03/2021 14:49

Though to be fair if your ex put in the application after you then he's fucked it up for her. What address did he use?

Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 14:54

There is no bus route where we live in the countryside. To get to school or anywhere for that matter. 1 of the down sides to country life. I have been in touch with school transport and they would put a taxi or bus to take her to catchment school only. (My 1st choice) but dad has said he will not consider it. He put his address for resident address so would have had high chance getting into his school choices which I can't get her to for the week she is here due to other kids at school in opposite direction.

OP posts:
titchy · 01/03/2021 15:01

So was his application fraudulent then? Or is her main address (ie where she spends most school overnights his?

Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 15:12

It's 50/50 so council say it's allowed even though it's only been regular contact since 1st lockdown to ease home schooling as I had a 3week old baby and another child . And dad has his other DD from another relationship every other weekend so no others to homeschool.

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Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 15:13

I get child benefit but council says it's the split between homes that they work on so it's equal to both.its looking like a bank loan for court tbh.

OP posts:
titchy · 01/03/2021 15:18

You can represent yourself at court for £200. To be blunt you should have done this months ago. Even if the outcome of an SIO is your choice of school, if they haven't got spaces she won't be going there. You and your ex really need to sort this out between you otherwise court will be irrelevant - there'll only be spaces at schools neither of you want, and a fine if she doesn't go anywhere.

Original poster
emma1988 · 01/03/2021 15:25

I no this now but I was just going from the information council gave me at the time tbh. Up until November (dad moving date) I didn't know he had applied so didn't know there was an issue. Council just kept saying they would email me advice and next steps but didn't and just kept saying not to worry she will have a school. And they will just place in nearest with places worse case scenario. The catchment school I want isn't over subscribed so was very high she would be there but not now on what council told me last week.

OP posts:
littlemisslozza · 01/03/2021 15:25

Poor girl. You need to find out which schools actually have space now, this is a ridiculous situation for her and must be very unsettling. I don't know anything about legal proceedings here but if that's what has to happen then get on with it asap.

LIZS · 01/03/2021 15:29

But his application must have been past deadline. Surely your on time one should take precedence. As it is you both need to work with LA to find a school with space, and appeal if necessary. Your poor dd caught in the middle Sad

PanelChair · 01/03/2021 15:31

Many things here sound odd. Many LEAs work on the basis that, if it’s a 50/50 split, the address which will be used for school admissions will be the one where child benefit is paid. So that would be yours.

As well as trying to reach a long overdue arrangement with your child’s father, you need to confirm with your LEA why they won’t use your address as that’s where the child benefit is paid. Then submit one application (and one only) for any suitable schools.

supersonicginandtonic · 01/03/2021 15:43

I'm sorry but I actually side with the father on this. He's applied for the school that SHE wants to go to. Surely that should be the main priority? Not what you want OP?

SoupDragon · 01/03/2021 15:51

@supersonicginandtonic

I'm sorry but I actually side with the father on this. He's applied for the school that SHE wants to go to. Surely that should be the main priority? Not what you want OP?
The DD wants the school as it has no uniform. Do you really think this is a reasonable choice? Also, the OP can not get her DD there.
supersonicginandtonic · 01/03/2021 21:54

@SoupDragon no I don't but at least her dad is listening to her. I'm sure she will have some friends there too, she wants to go.
The OP, is doing what is best for her, not for her child or what her child wants. She could get her there is she wanted to. I manage to get my children to different schools.

titchy · 01/03/2021 22:19

[quote supersonicginandtonic]@SoupDragon no I don't but at least her dad is listening to her. I'm sure she will have some friends there too, she wants to go.
The OP, is doing what is best for her, not for her child or what her child wants. She could get her there is she wanted to. I manage to get my children to different schools. [/quote]
It doesn't really matter does it? Both parents have fucked up massively and let their child down, and now need to get their heads together and agree a way forward.

SoupDragon · 01/03/2021 22:40

but at least her dad is listening to her. I'm sure she will have some friends there too, she wants to go.

How do you know she hasn't listened and, because she is the adult, made a choice of the better school? A 10/11 year old child does not know what is best for them. They get to express a preference but they do not get to make the choice.

The OP, is doing what is best for her, not for her child or what her child wants.

How do you know what is best for the child? You have no idea what the schools are like.

She could get her there is she wanted to. I manage to get my children to different schools.

Well, good for you. That doesn't mean the OP can does it? You can be at two places at once - well done!

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