Tonbridge or Epsom

[ConfusedDadintheUK]

Hello all,

Long time reader, first time poster.

DS has a PROVISIONAL offer at Tonbridge for boarding and a full unconditional offer at Epsom for boarding.

He's above average, very sociable, A team cricket and rugby boy, loves languages and science, overall a very happy kid who wants to do his best.

Are there any parents here who have experience of both or either school who can guide me on what to choose? The kicker is that I'm new to the UK , 5 years living in Surrey, so I have no background or affiliation either school.

I'm very aware that DS has to write a test in 2022 to secure a place at Tonbridge and has an unconditional place at Epsom right now, but I need to understand if my gut telling me that Tonbridge is just a better school is true or not.

Prestige, history aside, DS is a grounded happy kid who tries hard - should I accept Epsom or try to get him into Tonbridge?

Is the extra stress and drama worth another year of waiting?

THANK YOU!

I have no direct experience of either school, but my nephew is just about to finish his A levels at Tonbridge. He and his family have been extremely happy with the school. He was academically average when he started there (but intellectually curious) and he’s just been offered a place at Cambridge, so the school has obviously managed to bring out the best in him.
I am sure that others can also say many positive things about Epsom.
Ultimately you have to go with your gut, and ask your DS which school he feels more drawn to.
Well done to him, and good luck!

Tonbridge is the more academic of the two. I have a DS who would be joining Tonbridge as a boarder in Year 9 (he's currently in Year 7) having secured an unconditional offer last year. Although an academic school, they also have a lot of offer -sports, art, music, drama, etc.
Are you able to accept the Epsom offer and still try for Tonbridge? I understand that about 50% of those with provisional offers end up with a firm offer.

Which school is your DS more drawn to?

I know with the lockdown, you probably haven't been able to visit both schools, but I know Tonbridge have just in the last few weeks added a number of videos to give prospective students a feel.

All the best in your decision!

The most obvious question is preference for single sex vs coed.

I agree with @LIZS, the question is really if you want something relatively modern and co-educational or a rather old-fashioned school where he will not have much contact with girls. Completely different sort of environment. I am guessing Epsom has more day students coming in from SW London as well?

Tonbridge more academic.
I guess it depends too if you want the Yr7 paper hanging over you with no certainty of offer. I suppose some who sit that paper get an offer and some don't. Is it a case of a bird in the hand vs two in the bush?

You could ask Tomnbridge what proportion of those with provisional offers end up with an actual offer. That might help you.

I have friends with kids at both. The Epsom ones love it and say that it feels like it's about the experience and having a good time and the families aren't too worried about results...it's not like a high achieving day school, but more old moneyed people who want a lovely education and know their kids will be fine and dont think too much about results but have a family expectation of success. Not sure of course if everyone would describe it like that.

If you want the academic kudos, Tonbridge is the one....but is the reality that the level there might be a push for your DS....depends if you want that level of push and how he might react to it.

Are both for boarding, given they aren't especially near each other as options? Distance might play a role too.

Nice choice to have, but another year with it hanging over you would put some off when there's a good offer on the table.

Thanks for the considered replies.

Both offers are for boarding, we're not overly fussed by co-ed vs monastic, but perhaps slightly drawn to boys only.

DS can handle being pushed, he's at a very academic school now and does well and is well rounded and happy.

Appreciate the advice here, trying to weigh up another year of anticipation + an exam / interview vs just taking a full offer.

DC has been offered a place into Year 7 at Epsom. I have heard that the days at are quite full on and long and that children are expected to attend school on Saturdays. Are there any Epsom parents on here who could please let us know what a typical week looks like - especially on Saturdays. Thank you!

Hi there. I’ve a child who started this year. He’s very happy and the Saturday school is just sports. A great way to solidify friendship bonds.

The day is long but the children change a lot from primary to secondary. They do all their homework at school and all the revision. Home is an oasis rather than a place to finish work. There are lots on exciting enrichment project the kids get to try. My DS loves the shooting!!! Ekk

DM me if you have any questions x

I live in Epsom and I have no experience in private schools by the way. I went to a normal all girls school. However, my sibling went to a private school (whitgift). I don’t know anyone who has been to Epsom college. I have briefly went there when my sibling had a fencing match. From the impression that I get of the school/ pupils. It’s seems the students come from very wealthy backgrounds. Like the other poster has said it not a high achieving day school. However I have no idea if this is true. It just seems like a school you’d send your kids because you have money and don’t want them to go to a normal school (again this might not be true!)

Thank you!

I have 2 kids currently at Epsom. It's very mixed in terms of social backgrounds ie. many children in both my children's classes came through from state primaries, many families have both parents working full time and yes there are some very wealthy kids.....Like most schools I would say! Epsom is academic (it's not top 20 but you're talking marginal gains) and it is openly not a hot house but rather thrives on the all round education ie. academics yes but also sport, drama, the arts and behaviour. Kids in my children's classes turned down places at Kingston Grammar and similar to attend. Wnd by the way i definitely care about the results they will get - and so do the very engaged teaching staff

I don't love everything about it but It's a good fit for both my kids. The grounds are set on 88 acres which is impressive and gives them a sense of space and they are currently building a state of the art 6th form college which will add another layer to their overall offer.

Does anyone have a boy who is boarding at Epsom ?

Does anyone know if the Epsom school bus runs on Saturdays too? Or is it only Monday to Friday?