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Secondary education

Connect with other parents whose children are starting secondary school on this forum.

Anyone else with a year 13 ..who has basicly given up ?

13 replies

bizzey · 21/01/2021 17:56

Lots of threads on uni applications and stuff .. but could not find one for this !
Grades getting lower ..bare minimum work being done aka no extra .
Just wants to finish school.
No matter how much I tell him these grades are still important regardless of uni applicatins ( which had been off the cards a while ago due to him not wanting to study any more)
Anyone else in the same boat .
How to get them through this final sprint ?

OP posts:
Frodont · 21/01/2021 17:58

I've got no advice really, other than there isn't anything you can do. It's up to him. It must be very frustrating.

noblegiraffe · 21/01/2021 17:58

If he’s not going to uni, then what is the plan?

bizzey · 21/01/2021 18:01

Thank you for your replies.
He is going to get a job and move out .
Yeah ...
I suppose i need a support type thread to get me through this ..as ,..as you say
It is frustrating !

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 21/01/2021 18:06

I think you need to start firming up those get a job plans. Where? Doing what? Are there actually any jobs available etc etc.

MrsAvocet · 21/01/2021 18:12

I'm not in exactly the same position but I can empathise. My year 13 is actually working quite hard but he doesn't really know what he wants to do next. He has just put in a lady minute and very half hearted UCAS application, but I don't think he really wants to go. I persuaded him to do it to keep his options open really but he has little enthusiasm for any of it. He's summer born and quite immature compared to lots of his friends and I think some of these problems would have occurred in normal circumstances but Covid has definitely made it worse. He isn't enjoying home learning, and the school provision is ok but not spectacular. I just don't thing it seems "real" to him and all the uncertainty over A levels has made things worse. He is quite withdrawn and just doesn't seem to want to discuss the future. We have to sit on him to do anything, make any decisions, he just somehow seems lost. Which for a boy who did very well at GCSE is very sad.
I don't have any words of wisdom sorry, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in having this type of worries.

Londonmummy66 · 21/01/2021 19:16

Mine has an EE offer so motivation is difficult at the moment. I feel our pain!

Frodont · 21/01/2021 19:18

EE! Where from?!

bizzey · 21/01/2021 19:25

@MrsAvocet thank you.

OP posts:
bizzey · 21/01/2021 19:35

Posted ..and lost some thing!
I dont neef advice ..just any one in the same position ?

OP posts:
nostaples · 21/01/2021 22:46

I'm a sixth form teacher so see some kids like this all the time, and more in the current climate. I've had a number of them submit late UCAS applications because they are twigging that if they don't go to university, the options look pretty bleak. You need to show some tough love. If he doesn't go to university, fine, but he must have a plan. And if he wants to get a job, he needs to get one now to get some experience. If my dd's experience is anything to go by (excellent grades at GCSE and A Level, at university now, plenty of voluntary work, very personable, several skills and physically fit and active) getting even a supermarket job at the moment is almost impossible.

nostaples · 21/01/2021 22:47

With a job, even a Saturday job, he in a position to make an informed decision. If he hasn't got one, he really isn't. Does he have friends, relations at university? Because he also needs to see the fun/ independent side of that as well as just the academic. He also needs to speak to the careers service at his school.

NotDonna · 21/01/2021 23:56

Could he be depressed?

XingMing · 23/01/2021 16:31

Three years ago, I was in your shoes. DS had no idea what he would want to study at university, so he left (with three A levels, nothing spectacular). He always liked cooking so we sent him on a crash cookery course, thinking that he might do a chalet season. At the end of it, he dropped his CV in at a few places and was offered a junior chef job at a very smart small hotel, with a big food reputation, and he stayed for most of the next two years.

Last winter, his maths teacher (who's his BF's mum) said to him "XingJr. it's time to consider university again". He did, he applied and started in September, and has just finished his first semester with a First on one module, and only 3 marks adrift from a First on two others. He's loving the course, and completely committed.

So you may just need to be patient, and insist that he gets a job, any job. For my DS, it was understanding that work is different to school and that you stand or fall on your own efforts but that being reliable and toughing it out is essential. But a professional kitchen is hard graft. DS went from school to working 70 hours a week on MW. He grew up very very fast in 18 months. All that said, hospitality is closed now, so there are not many openings anywhere.

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