South or Central London selective co-ed private for 13yo ADHD

[ChiefStew]

My title is a bit of a mouthful but wanted to get all the key info in there!

DS, currently 11 and in year 7, has an ‘interesting’ profile. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and is very intelligent. His state school doesn’t have sets and they report that he routinely finishes his work (correctly) much before other students. If not immediately engaged with other work or - in his least favourite subjects, in the class in general - he can be chatty or fidgety and at times, provocatively and actively disruptive.

The SLT love him and are really doing their best to support him. The SENDCO said they’ve been failing him by not challenging him enough. They give him extension work and are actively encouraging his natural talent in two specific areas.

However, the underlying issue is that he is not sufficiently challenged and engaged in class when in a classroom, Covid permitting. I think the solution may be moving him to a selective-ish independent with smaller class sizes for individual attention and a rigorous pace. We’d move him for Year 9.

At least half of his best friends are girls so we’re definitely only considering co-Ed. We can do central London and the least far out parts of both SE & SW London. As he’s hyperactive, he needs somewhere with good outdoor space and sports. I know this limits our options probably to Alleyn’s & Emmanuel. Is there anywhere else?

He’s always been in the state system so I have no real understanding of 13+ and am aware he may be at a disadvantage in terms of preparation not being in an independent.

@ChiefStew, are you looking for an occasional vacancy? Most of the independent schools would have pretested for 13+ in Yr 6. Have you considered Trinity / Whitgift? Westminster have a very good rowing programme, but I think you might be too late for 13+, although they may have a different system for DC from state schools.

Thanks Soma. I thought a lot there was generally a fair bit of movement for Year 9 with a new set of testing at that time? I guess an occasional place then, which will obviously make the odds harder.

Not considering Trinity/Whitgift or Westminster as they’re boys only and DS needs and wants co-Ed.

Latymer Upper is always worth a try and they have excellent learning provisions. Finding coed schools in London is tricky. Are Highgate and North Bridge House too far north?

I was going to suggest Latymer as well. They don't have a 'proper' Year 9 intake so don't do the whole pretest thing but as with all these schools there is a bit of movement so vacancies will pop up. There are also lots of international families there so who knows if they'll be a bit more movement than usual...

Emanuel and Kingston Grammar are both coed and have 13 plus entry with exams (entry not based on pretest) I believe both test English/ Maths/ VR and a modern language at 13 plus
Claremont Fan Court in Surrey and Thames Christian School might also be worth a look for occasional places?

Also Ibstock Place and Harrodian will take people at 13+ and both are coed.

Ibstock is very discouraging of pupils with SEN. Latymer Upper has very good SEN provision.

@ChiefStew, I have a 14yo DS who was finally diagnosed with ADHD shortly before he started in Y9 at a London senior school. Your description of your DS sounds very similar to mine.

DS went to a small co-ed prep and our preference was for a co-ed senior school, but in the end we chose a single-sex school as it was the best fit for other reasons. An all-boys schools has proved to have unexpected benefits with respect to ADHD. The staff seem more tolerant generally of energetic boy behaviour and without half a classroom of quiet well-behaved girls providing a stark contrast, DS's ADHD chattiness and fidgeting doesn't stand out quite so much. A larger pool of boys also means that he isn't the only one with these issues, so he doesn't feel quite so different or singled out. Having been the focus of a lot of negative teacher attention at prep school for his behaviour, DS feels more comfortable and less of failure in a single-sex classroom and it has made a real different to his self-esteem and confidence at school.

In your shoes I would be somewhat wary about waiting until Y9 to move your DS. Our experience in the 2 years of prep school was that an initially supportive and helpful SLT steadily lost patience with DS (and me) when their approaches to behaviour management didn't work. DS was increasingly demoralised and felt constantly in the wrong and that his efforts to behave weren't being acknowledged - school seemed unwilling to consider that his inability to control his behaviour all the time was a case of "can't" not "won't", and simply ramped up the punishments. With hindsight, I wish we'd pursued an ADHD diagnosis earlier, but I also wonder whether it might have been less detrimental for DS's mental wellbeing to have sought an occasional place at a senior school before Y9 rather than waiting for the 13+ entrance process.

I agree with @hereiam on the benefits of an all boy school for ADHD. Some boys schools are very accepting and supportive of this whereas I am doubtful that the coeds you are considering are! Dulwich is good for ADHD, also Hampton. In the coed category Latymer Upper and Harrodian seemed supportive to us.

Have you thought about moving him to a prep school and then have them handle the 13+ for you? Newton Prep is quite a good one in South London, is coed and mixed ability. You could always just call them to see what they think.

Thank you all, very helpful. That’s great advice about considering all boys given DS’s profile and I am going to follow it. It widens the search which is a good thing.

No, I haven’t considered moving him to a prep as he’s in Year 7 and with Covid there’s no point moving now until September. By which point it won’t be long before it will be time to start thinking about checking out & applying for schools for year 9. It would be too much disruption to move for one year after an already very disrupted year 7.

The only other co-Ed I can think of is Royal Russell which pastoral wise would probably be excellent but is not ‘academically rigourous’ and a bit of a pain to get to. There was talk of both Alleyns and Emanuel disbanding their 13+ so you might be best opting for an occasional place in year 8. I’d suggest getting a detailed psych report and various references from SEN team to support your application.

Emanuel typically admit only a handful of new pupils at 13+ (as in less than 10), but still get dozens of applicants. Very long odds, so not one to bank on. It's even a bit of a lottery for strong scholarship candidates.

Don't know about applications any more but Alleyn's?

Alleyns did abandon their 13+ entry abruptly with no warning two years ago. Therefore youwould be relying on occasional places coming up. Same applies with Latymer Upper who abandoned 13+ entry even earlier. Another benefit of considering all boys schools is that some have a specific 13+ intake. Very few coed London schools do. Harrodian does (but I dont think its a big number) and Emmanuel (I believe) but it’s a very small number.

Hi @ChiefStew

That is tricky - most 13+ schools have a pretest which is taken in Year 6 - which you will have missed.

However, as other posters have mentioned - there are occasional places - but these are few and far between - only come up if children leave.

For the best Coed, Inclusive, all through, Academic schools - I would recommend Highgate (wonderful sports facilities !) and Heathside (on Hampstead Heath - so children go the the Heath every day!) ....although both will have wait lists - so worth applying to at least get into the system!

Good luck!

Some schools do a year 8 entry test. This tends to be more boys schools but, amongst the coeds, Emanuel, Harrodian, Kingston Grammar and Ibstock have been offering this. Schools are gradually phasing it out though so there could be fewer options by next year.

Thank you all for the additional information, so helpful! Some of the schools are too far away but I’ll look into the rest.

Plenty of schools in SW London don't pretest in Y6 but just have entrance exams in Year 8, or have dual Y9 entry routes (a Y6 pretest route and a Y8 exam entry route) - the ones i can think of off the top of my head are Trinity, Dulwich, Whitgift, Emmanuel.

@ChiefStew I've pm'ed you.