Scholarship dilemma

[brightertimes123]

DD is in Year 8 at a pretty average secondary. It was only just adequate before all the lockdowns and now quite frankly her learning is pitiful.

She is a bright girl who is very talented (if I do say so myself ) in drama/performing arts and has lots of industry experience.
We have an excellent indie school nearby and they are currently offering scholarships (of which one is Drama) with a 25% discount on fees.
We could just about stretch to paying with the scholarship but absolutely not without.

My question is would you put your 13 year old through the scholarship application process and be honest about your position knowing full well the potential for huge disappointment or would you feel that it was not actually worth trying?

Haven't directly spoken to DD about it as yet but need to crack on as entrance exams are end i of the month. I know without doubt she would be thrilled to go to the school but what I'm not sure about is how she would react if ultimately we couldn't afford to do it without the scholarship.

Be very very clear upfront that without the scholarship it is a no go.
Be very very clear that loads of people will apply so the chance of success is slim, even though she is bright and talented.
Then go for it if she wants to.

@TeenPlusTwenties

Be very very clear upfront that without the scholarship it is a no go. Be very very clear that loads of people will apply so the chance of success is slim, even though she is bright and talented. Then go for it if she wants to.

Thanks Teeen

....and then let her make the call if she's prepared to apply under those conditions?

I would give it a go, if she’s happy to. I always think it’s better to (possibly) regret what you do thank what you didn’t do!

I would be clear on your position and give her the choice. To be honest I would encourage her to go for it, she has nothing to lose but a bit of disappointment which will give her another skill for life (in a good way, not trying to sound harsh here). But tell her if the pressure is too much she doesn't have to do it. I got a scholarship for a private school (well two - both the ones I applied for) and the pressure was enormous. I don't regret it though.

She is used to disappointment from auditions etc but this is a whole different ball game when it could determine the rest of your life.

I'd like to think though that she has the strength of character to deal with a disappointing outcome and on balance I think she would like to at least be given the opportunity.

I will have a talk with her later today.

Thank you!!

My dd is applying to colleges and wanted to go to a specialist one I made it very clear that we could only consider it if she got a scholarship. She chose to apply either way. (She got a scholarship and bursary so we were really happy)

I was "put through" scholarship exams from the age of 9.

My parents told me the first year that I was just doing for practice so I'd have a better chance the next year. I swallowed this totally (but I was a lot younger than your DD) and didn't have any expectations. Even after that it was always presented as a bit of a pipe dream - 99% chance life would just go on as normal but may as well give this crazy punt a little go. And they were totally hands off on prep, they just trusted me to do my best and didn't pump me up saying they believed in me or I was a super clever or anything like that. I ended up with 2 scholarships.

Do check the application deadlines.

For many schools they will have closed in the autumn and exams are taking place about now. You might stand a chance of persuading them to take a late addition to the registration list, but if the exam has already happened I think you might be administratively stuffed

I’d explore it if it wasn’t going to make a big difference to your lifestyle (you say it’ll be a stretch) - as you say, her current school isn’t awful and I’m not sure anyone should make a decision based on lockdown learning provision. This situation (please God!) isn’t going to last for ever!

If she has quite a bit of experience of performing, I’m guessing the schools expectations of her level of involvement are fine with her? DD is also Year 8 and has a Music place based on a singing audition and musical aptitude tests. In our experience they do expect a good deal of involvement with choirs and productions. The auditioning process at DDs school from what we witnessed wasn’t a fun one for all the children involved, there were one or two who were quite clearly terrified.

I would double check that she can sit the exam, (before you talk to DD) as I would normally have expected the applications to have been much earlier, with the 13+ entry tests In January/Feb. This is fairly standard (my kids go to a private school) and theirs would have been last week (?) in normal times.

If you're good to go, crack on and good luck!

If you are awarded a scholarship then you are expected to participate in everything at school relating to that award, including taking the relevant subjects at GCSE and A-level.

If your daughter is doing a lot outside school e.g. dance lessons four times a week in the evenings, but your daughter is expected to participate in all school plays, performances, choirs etc then it can cause conflict. Ensure you fully understand what the school is expecting from her and whether that fits with her wants and needs.

A student from our school was offered a sports scholarship and then had problems when they were expected to turn out for matches on a Saturday. It clashed with a non sporting commitment they also had a real passion for. They ultimately had to chose between the two and it caused a lot of resentment for the child.

Also consider does she need this move right now? Would trying for a scholarship at 16 be a better option for your family circumstances?

Please be aware that often the 25% will be the max. So she may get offered a scholarship at 10%. That's harder to explain - yes, you got one but no you can't go.

We did similar but for sport and I was very upfront with both the school and my dd. Worked out in the end but was stressful.

A student from our school was offered a sports scholarship and then had problems when they were expected to turn out for matches on a Saturday. It clashed with a non sporting commitment they also had a real passion for. They ultimately had to chose between the two and it caused a lot of resentment for the child

Yes this can be an issue if people don't realise they are basically owned by the school as far as sport is concerned at least!

@MrsMiaWallis

Please be aware that often the 25% will be the max. So she may get offered a scholarship at 10%. That's harder to explain - yes, you got one but no you can't go.

We did similar but for sport and I was very upfront with both the school and my dd. Worked out in the end but was stressful.

Really interesting point and that's a conversation I will be having with the school tomorrow. I need to know exactly how the sliding scale may work and then what we can afford. Realistically if they offer anything less than 25% it's not viable for us.

Does the school not offer bursaries, separate to scholarships? I'd be surprised if so.

Are there no other possible schools that have established means tested bursary provision? (If you can find one, apply and receive an offer, that would help your bargaining position with the preferred school ...)

‘Just about afford it’.

To be honest, that sounds a bit close to the mark. What happens if you get an unexpected expense (our boiler cost £3000), or the school actually costs more than you expect - school uniforms, drama classes, school trips etc. Ie. It’s not just the school fees per se.

Also, would you be happy paying all that money under the current circumstances. Ie. Kids learning from home.

Would it be worth spending the extra money on tutors to get her education up to scratch, and/or drama classes outside school?

I would look to apply for bursaries.
It takes a while to complete the paperwork but it can be worth it.
If they grant you the bursary it may cover more of the fees so you won't struggle.
As there are alaways incidentals like extra classes or trips to cover.

We went this route.

In many independent schools, gaining a scholarship opens up the possibility of a bursary. So you may well get beyond 25%. You can find out from the school if this is a possibility.