Year 7 boy - unorganised, dragging out homework - constant help and nagging

[Remmy123]

My son is very bright, But has got a lazy attitude.

I am on his case constantly - pack your school bag for tomorrow / brush your teeth/ hang blazer up etc around 29 times a night until he does it.

Homework gets left until the last minute then it's just slap dash despite me going on at him to do it.

My whole evening is taken up with this constant chasing and reminders.

Tonight I've had enough I've asked him since 4pm to do homework .. started it half an hour ago and it's wrong / silly mistakes so I've made him start again - he stil then has to pack his back for tomorrow and brush teeth which will be another dragged out event.

Any words of wisdom? Whst can I do?

Those of you with inattentive ADHD children when did you notice it? I can't tell if my DS is just being a young child, but he doesn't do anything he's asked to. I literally have to demand it, constantly remind him. It's so draining getting to school, but that could be normal as I don't know he's my oldest and my younger child is a baby. He's not hyper or naughty, he's a kind sensitive boy, but he can't get dressed for example. He can physically do the individual items but he might take him 3 hours. I think a visual timetable might help him too.

@dingledongmerrilymysky sounds similar - I'm going to try a list and see how we go first

OP - I’ve been there.

Routine routine routine
Prep prep prep

White board with morning routine.
List by front door with what he needs to take to school
Home, snack, half hour chill (no screen), homework and then screen

What his bedtime? I suggest in bed by 8.30 and then read / Music until 9 absolute latest.

I wouldn’t jump to ADHD

He’s 11. He’s disorganised. He has a loving supportive and involved mum.

These three facts are why he’s like this I reckon. You can only change the second!

My DS also in Y7 is the same. Watching with interest!

My DS was exactly the same in Yeqr 7. He is also very clever and lets say unmotivated rather than lazy. He got slightly better each year. Home school was an absolute nightmare. He's now in Yr 10 and so much better.

School didn't help at first by having a stupid thing where HW was ok if it was in in the next 24 hours! Once they got rid of this he definitely improved.

I completely agree with the posters who have said leave him to get into trouble! Also try and encourage him to be proud of his work. And see if you can get some rewards in there too. It's no good for anyone to have to be constantly nagging.

In the end I think the thing that worked best was Covid! We were too distracted to nag at him so he got a few detentions. Also he saw how this years pupils got their GCSEs predicted based on their work and decided he better actually put in some effort!

My DD is the complete opposite. School books pristine. Will disappear off to her bedroom and do her HW.

I'm going to see if I can find any online ADHD resources because the way he is in some of his online classes has actually got me thinking.

Thanks all - this morning was slightly better but I think he felt bad as last night was so chaotic with lots of shouting (prob getting hormonal too)

I've already told him, homework when he gets in tonight before he can have his phone/screen.

He leaves the house at 7am and home at 4.15 it's a long day.

Anyway, let's see..

My son is like that, he's 10 and will be going to grammar school in September. Very worrying as he's always forgetting the thread of things he has to do, it takes forever to squeeze a piece of homework out of him and he's very forgetful. He's almost gone to school in bright orange crocs several times because he just absent mindedly puts on the first shoes he sees....
His big brother was recently diagnosed with inattentive adhd and although he has done brilliantly (he did a doctorate at Oxford and is now doing a post doc at Cambridge) it affects his life and the medication is now very helpful. We're in the process of a private diagnosis for his little brother as I believe it can run in families. Definitely worth looking into.

Your son is very similar with my ADHD son. I am taking parental consultation and was told that he need support from us because his brain has just different structure from ours and his organisation skill is a couple of years behind than his peers whereas his maths might be a couple of years ahead.
He is year 7 at a private school and all his homework is managed by MS Teams. I downloaded the app by his tutor's suggestion and check the latest homework with him everyday after school.
I will recommend to make a list and work together with him. After I accept the fact that he needs support, I feel much better and surprisingly he started showing improvement.

No TV to homework is done. A visual tick list or time table in his room?
I think it sounds wuite normal fro an 11 year old and don,t necesserily think it would be adhd on its own.