Bed time, wake up and travelling to school

[TotoroXX]

Our first choice school, Tiffin Girls (if DD is lucky enough to get in), is about 50 mins door to door involving a train ride to Richmond then a bus. I have done this journey myself during morning time of school hour in Dec before COVID, and it was doable. DD has also done this journey with me during the 11+ exam and said fine. The return journey took longer on bus due to longer wait at bus stop plus busy traffic, is this a norm?

Would be interested to know from parents with secondary school children what time do their children go to bed, wake up and how long it takes them to travel to school and back home normally?

DS has a long commute, but it is normal for his school. He is up at 6.30, we leave the house at 7.10 for a 15-20 drive to the coach stop. He then has a 30-40 minute coach journey. He is normally home around 4.30/4.45..

He still has time for music lessons etc after school and is also a competitive swimmer so trains 6 evening a week. It all makes him super organised, particularly as he is now in Y10 so has to ensure that all homework and revision is done straight away.

I have to say though that the majority of the holidays and weekends are spent sleeping!!!

I would agree that a long journey isn’t ideal and i would prefer to live near a decent school, but some of us don’t have that luxury. You have to weigh up your options and the personality of your child. For us, local options would have been wrong for ds, but they would probably have been fine for dd. She’s actually chosen a longer commute for sixth form (her previous school was independent but took less than half an hour -car/train/walk - door to door). We now take her to the Train station (5 min drive) and she has a 45 min journey and 10 min walk. She’s made some good friends on the train and says she really enjoys the journey. But she’s a very sociable type. Everything in life involves weighing up pros and cons. You just have to work out what they are!

It's certainly doable but you would only want to do it for a dream school.

Year 7-9 it's probably less of a problem, the challenge might be when she is older and wants to stay up late but needs to be up very early due to the commute.

DD has a primary school friend who goes to a central London school, bus, train, bus and the issues come when there are train delays. The school is not interested in “leaves on the track” or “signaling problems”. Roadworks add to bus times.

In secondary we have one parent evening per year. There may be concerts if your child is part of the orchestra or choir but not an all year group one. Sports day is pupils only and there may be an information evening for a trip. There may be more in a public school.

All these are evening ones, 6-7pm onwards, so you will travel quite a lot,

DD’s hobbies also all moved to an early evening slot, it is rare that anything starts before 6pm so dinner is often 7.30pm with her in her room by 8.30pm. Light out is around 9pm but she loves to sleep so we don’t have an issue.

We are lucky that the local secondary school is outstanding but we deliberately moved to be in the catchment years before we needed to. We are not in London though.

It is a 20-25 minute walk away which means that with the current staggered year group times Ds is home at 3.15pm. He has a homework slot and then the rest of his time at home is free. He is yr10 he is in his room for 9.30pm and asleep shortly after that, up at 6.30am and out the door for 7.50am. Gate opens at 8.15.

Year 7 is a culture shock as they move around the school for each lesson (pre-covid) plus a usual lesson in primary school is not 1 hour long. They are usually very tired for the first few weeks.

As PP said long commute, plus school, plus long commute home is not the same as primary plus wraparound care.

But you do what needs doing. Later in GCSE years if they are on a train or bus they can use that time to do revision, there are lots of apps to facilitate this.

As a teacher I would say that's a long day for DD day in day out when that time could be better spent socialising, winding down, clubs, and home work and revision etc. It's a lot of stress that type of commute even for an adult.

Dd leaves the house at 7:55, catches a train at 8am into the city centre, short walk to the underground and then a 10 minute walk from that station to the school, arriving at 8:45

We had a Tiffin offer and part of why we turned it down was that bit from the station. The buses are packed so they either have to wait ages or walk, and it’s a bit of a trek with heavy bags, instruments etc.

DD’s other offers (selective schools) were also about 50 minutes away, but with less walking and more options if the main transport choice wasn’t working. Crucially, her school know most of their students come in in public transport, so they’re very understanding about leaves on the line etc, and she’s never been marked late even when she’s been a few minutes past the bell due to transport issues.

Your daughter won’t be the only one commuting a long way to Tiffins. To be honest I think the catchment is unacceptably large but that’s not your fault.

The bus between Kingston and Richmond can be pretty slow and with limited numbers of people allowed on buses in covid times (who knows what sept will look like let’s be honest) are you sure you have calculated enough time?

DD wakes up at 6 and leaves home at 7:10 to drive to a coach stop. The coach depart at 7:25, arrive the school around 8:10. She comes back around 17:25. Actually most of students at her school have similar journeys. She got offers from schools nearer but she's keen to the school. She actually enjoys her time in the coach by playing game, texting friends and reading.

DD has 15 minute taxi drive to & from school. Up at 7:25, leaves at 8:20, goes to bed by 10pm at latest, often 9:30pm, but she is now 14. When she was 11 she was in bed by 9pm latest, otherwise routine the same. She rarely did extra curricular stuff pre COVID, but in any case her day has never seemed too tiring for her.

Sounds rubbish to me, but I don't like to get up early. They have phones so will never be bored!

My daughter did a similar journey for five years. Don’t underestimate how tiring it is.

She was driven there door to door but used to leave at 7am every morning and get home at 7.30pm each evening. She was in bed by 9pm. It was a school that specialised in performing arts, hence the huge sacrifice. It was also a school that did not give huge amounts of homework.

There were often travel problems. The school had boarding facilities so at certain times of the year eg school shows and concerts she did the odd week of temporary boarding.

During GCSE’s we could not risk her being late for an exam so dh went to live with her in holiday accommodation for a month, near school.

Year 8 DD here. Pre Covid, up 6.15 - bus at 7.20 (stop is a minute away) which gets in 8.10-8.20 - back at 4.45 - homework 6-7pm and bed at 9.15.

It is a long day, especially if they have after school clubs (DD has one and was back at 6pm). Getting books and uniform kit (eg sports, dance etc) ready the night before helps. DD also carries with her a portable mobile phone charger and has Life360 on her phone so I can track her. She has a spare £10 in case there are bus issues (it happens) and she needs to switch to trains and printed out timetables for the bus and train.

Other than Parents Evening and choir concerts, we’ve not been in to the school. A hugely different experience to Primary.

DD has coped well with this big increase in travel but we did a number of trial runs and ran through ‘what if’ scenarios. I think she’s liked the independence but has made a very good bus buddy friend who has become a close school friend.

I think you are being pretty unrealistic about the length of time the 65 bus will take. In school rush hour, the buses often get to Richmond Station completely rammed, even in non-COVID times, and you will need to wait whilst 2, 3, 4 buses pass by before you are able to board one. Remember the bus, as well as serving adult commuters/passengers, also passes by the German School, Grey Court, Tiffin Girls, Tiffin Boys, Kingston Academy and Kingston Grammar. 50 minutes for the 65 alone is more realistic.

The travel time to school was the main reason my Yr 8 boy (he was Y7 at the time) begged to move schools. It would take him about 50 mins door to door. It was a great grammar school but not much use if they're unhappy and therefore not at their best! After almost a year of pleading and realising it wasn't a whim he started at a close non grammar in September (we drive him now due to the worry of Covid) and is so happy. So it's worth bearing it in mind. My son is a real homebody though!

That said though, we're lucky to have a fair few good schools nearby. Obviously you wouldn't want to choose a bad school just based on distance!