Son hates new school

[JessicaKenny2018]

So we have recently moved our son from a large town school to a smaller village school and he says he hates it.
He's almost 12, he says he cannot find any common ground with the kids at the new school, they have different interests and they act a lot younger than he does.
He has only been there 2 weeks so we have said he's got to give it a fair go but it's breaking my heart seeing him so miserable about school.
He's not the most academic person either which really doesn't help.
Going back to his old school is not an option as it's too far to travel however there is another bigger school in town that is more like his old school.
I really don't know what to do for the best the smaller school is better with a better reputation but I can't stand the thought of him having to spend 5 years there miserable.
I'm going to speak to the school today see if they can maybe buddy him up with someone else.
Just really don't know what to do for the best thanks

Are there any clubs he can join? (not sure if there are with covid) that way he can find like minded friends.

Also a positive attitude, so when he comes home he has to tell you something positive about his day rather than moaning and complaining.

He has only been there 2 weeks he needs to give it more time. I spent 5 years being miserable but couldn't change school (Catholic) but it wasn't all bad. I was acutely aware of this when choosing schools for my sons and they both went to a school where no one from their primary school went to either. They both made friends and loved the place. That isn't to say that it wasn't difficult at the start.

But I would contact his form tutor and explain he is feeling a bit lost and could they buddy him up or give him a bit of help.

I agree with the positive attitude - 'don't go looking for happiness but find it where you are.'
My grandson is Yr 8 and, when he started at a new school, he made friends by interacting on ps4. They 'invite' each other to play and it gave him some common ground with those in his year. It doesn't sound as though there is any particular reason for your son not to like his new school, bullying etc, so he might just have to give it time. Has he got friends outside school? My grandson joined the local rugby club and made friends there. Good luck.

@JessicaKenny2018, I’m a bit confused by your post as presumably being almost 12 he is in fact Year 7?

On that basis, it must have been a really hard year for him - missing the last few months of Primary, starting the Secondary journey at one school in town then being moved in his very first term to another Secondary.

It doesn’t sound like you have moved yourselves so I’m assuming travel was the reason you moved him? Or was it something else? If this second school is closer to home, have any of his old Primary mates gone to this Secondary and can you encourage those friendships?
I’d definitely go in and speak to the teachers, explain how he is feeling and ask for their help. Schools are usually receptive and good at this. As others have said, I get that clubs might be off right now but going forward to they offer clubs in things he’d be interested in?

He’s had a lot of change and Year 7 is a difficult year anyway with lots of friendship changes and DC finding their feet, especially in the first term. He’s not going to be the only one feeling unsettled! My parents moved us around quite a bit and I remember hating new schools almost on principle and trying not to see the positives so I’d really encourage him to give this school a fair shot, it might take time! I definitely wouldn’t move him to a third Secondary in Year 7 though at this stage though.

Good luck!

He was living between myself and his dad, was with his dad term time as that's where his school was. My son made the decision to move as his dad has started working full time and is not home when he gets in from school, we live around 100 miles from his old school and we obviously spoke to him before he moved to make sure he had thought about leaving his friends etc.
I totally agree with him staying at the school he is at, it is certainly the better school, he has over the last 2 days started mentioning one boys name quite a lot, said they went to the school canteen together and that they both play PlayStation and has said they are going to find a game they both like to play together on the PlayStation.
He is still reluctant to go in but in general just does not like school.
I have spoken to the school and they are looking to find buddy's for him with similar interests and they have picked up that he's struggling at school and have referred him to the schools sendco.
As you say year 7 is a difficult year anyway, he is still in daily contact with his old friends.
As I say it was completely his decision to move me and his dad just want him to be happy and settled.

I’m sure he will be - he’s had a lot of change though and it’ll all be a big adjustment. My Year 8 has only just really settled into Secondary. Best wishes to you all and don’t be too hard on yourself and keep your expectations realistic. It’ll just take a bit of time.

Please don't worry. My Y8 DD went to school no one from her primary went to and the first two weeks was constant moaning. In fact, the first term it was just comparisons and there were points where I just cried thinking I'd made a massive mistake. Her school was miles better then the other one but you have doubts. As @SJaneS49 said, mine has also just settled. She's got loads of friends, has found kids on her home route and loves it now. Take a deep breath and stay positive.

I moved my kids middle of y2 and 4. My son is very outgoing and consciously took up hobbies that the other boys had: collecting certain cards etc, whether he was interested or not. But after a while he did find his group and they are still friends now at 17 even though they all go to different sixth forms/college.
My daughter struggled quite a bit - more than I realised at the time (it is not always easier the younger you are). She hated it for the first year. She's not outgoing and found it hard to manage her expectations and dealing with the difference in structure from her last, more alternative, school. However she did eventually find her gang too, though there have been more upheavals and changes in that group causing quite a bit of drama, but that may be more typical of girls!
My children didn't have any alternative. I think you should have your son stick it out. If he is still truly miserable at the end of the year revisit the situation. It could be not the school itself but school in general? Then it's tough luck - i tell my kids that going to school is their job, and they may not always like it!

@Pipandmum it is certainly part of it that he has never liked school, he will find his feet I'm sure.
I think he has added someone from school as a friend on his PlayStation so hopefully things are looking up.
He is very sociable as well but he struggles academically so it's kind of catch 22 I guess.

Playstation thing is definitely very positive. DS got to "know" a lot of people through playing with them online.

PlayStation - yay, the way to go! Have a good chat with him about online safety (only joining 'parties' of people he knows, etc, etc) and perhaps keep it in a communal area so you can keep an eye on what's happening. A headset is also a great addition as they can play and chat together.

It takes about a term to fully settle into a new school. It's a big change.

If he really still hates it by Easter maybe look into moving him for year 8 but I bet he will have made friends and settled by then.