Independents for bright but anxious girls

[flipflopping]

I'd be grateful for any advice. DD is at an academic London independent- it's a great school and gets great results. She is academically bright and near the top in most subjects. However, she also has a tendency towards anxiety and perfectionism and I'm starting to worry that the culture of the school (quite academically pressured) isn't helping.

I don't think she wants to move immediately and I don't know how difficult it would be (as it would be a move outside normal admission years). But I'd like to think a bit about whether a move would benefit her- perhaps for sixth form if not now (Y9).

I'd welcome suggestions for schools that offer opportunities for bright students but without the relentless pressure and focus on results. She doesn't need any external pressure, she has quite enough of her own! The only possibility I've though of is Bedales.

Boarding anywhere or day schools accessible from North London, girls or mixed.

Thank you.

I went to St Helen's and they were fabulous. I was bullied my last year of junior school and spent most of my first year playing hooky. The school were fantastic and supportive, checked up on me and helped me catch up with my work and encouraged me. I was conscientious about work but probably a little depressed. They were incredibly nurturing.

It was a few years ago but from what i heard it hasn't changed much.

Thank you- I'll have a look x

Queenswood near Potters Bar in Hertfordshire. Everything you could possibly want. Takes lots of girls from N London but a bit of a trek if you are South or SW. However weekly boarding might help. Not pressurised and so much to do. Enough bright gyros but not a hot house. Girls are comfortable with their achievements even if they are modest but there isn’t continual comparison or angst about being top. There is so much on offer, everyone finds a niche or two. Do have a look.

gyros??? Girls

Wychwood in Oxford is excellent for pastoral care and helping girls with issues. It is teeny tiny though, so not everyones cup of tea.

Actually Heathfield at Ascot isn’t pressurised either. That’s also small but better facilities than Wychwood and closer to London. Amazing art and photography! Tends to attract a wide variety of girls with a myriad of talents.

Another vote for Queenswood. Lots of north London girls, flexi and weekly boarding plus door to door transport if you need.

Gets the results without the pressure - their personalised learning approach is brilliant. Great extra curricular, although a little limited at the moment due to COVID19. They place huge emphasis on the whole girl and what they do outside the classroom is just as important as inside.

We turned down an academic scholarship at another school to go there and have not looked back. Highly recommend.

Have a cousin with kids at Northwood College. Her youngest sounds similar and is excelling there. Not too small but very nurturing.

Thank you, everyone, for these recs- I will get researching.

Friends have said good things about More House.

It might be worth giving a broader picture of her interests and strengths. What does she really love doing? Sport / Art / Drama / Music / reading / socialising with friends / shopping...

Bumping for more posts - watching with interest!

Prior's Field, near Guildford, might be worth a look.
They have an excellent reputation for pastoral care and, although not one of the hothouse schools, their academic reputation is good, too.

Mount House in North London is very nurturing

Have you thought about mixed specifically? Anxious girls can do better with the more relaxed mood that boys seem to bring ... I'm looking at Bedales for mine going into sixth - there's no way she would go all girls though, she always has boys as friends ...

I would also second Heathfield in Ascot, although my experience there is not recent - definitely worth a look at.

I would second Wychwood. It might be smaller but it has exceptional attention on the pupils and in the heart of Oxford with all its myriad of facilities.

@XelaM , Mount House in Hadley Wood (North London) is far from nurturing. St Martha's the previous school was, but MH definitely not. My friend's child who was in Yr 11 was provided with zero online lessons during lockdown. Another friend's highly academic child was made to feel a problem for asking for extension work. The current Yr 12 is beyond tiny, because the vast majority of the YR11s left.

We are close to Beales, its a bit wacky with an underlying drugs problem. Really wouldn't recommend, the students have a sense of entitlement.

Second that Prior Field is worth a look - I have a number of friends whose daughters are very happy there. It's a boarding and day school which is less than 5 minutes from the A3 just south of Guildford.

Priors Field!

Nice to see someone went to St Helen’s as it doesn’t get mentioned much on here. My daughter started yr 7 there this year. They are an academic school but are really known for pastoral care and managing mental health. The fact it is such a great space also means room to get away, ifyswim.

Malvern St James, amazing school. Lovely culture. Gets results but not high pressure academically. Really caring environment.

Otherwise I'd recommend some advice for finding your daughter the perfect school, like using St Peter's Tutors. I know a few families that have found the perfect but not obvious choice school for their daughters through them.

I'd echo PP and suggest considering a mixed 6th form. My DD has just started in a co-ed 6th form of a boys school (in reality it's about 40 girls to 150 boys!) and is loving it. She moved from an all girl's school - both are selective and academic, but she is so much happier. The boys do seem to make things more relaxed - dilute the intensity that you can get in an all girl's environment.

Kent College Pembury is worth a look.