Help. Dd finding English writing difficult. Year 10

[ThatDirection]

Can anyone help me to help her? Hear 10 and they're starting to write essays GCSE style and DD is struggling with the style of writing. She remains an avid reader, she has an above average vocabulary and she can verbalise deep thoughts on wide topics. She is getting good marks in other essay subjects, history for example.

But English literature is not going well. Her writing style is informal and her structure all over the place. She's throwing in words and making sentences that mean nothing. She's trying so hard to follow the 'rules' and getting it wrong, that her essay looks like it's written by a year 7 not year 10. It's knocked her confidence.

I realise this is the start and her teacher will be helping them to get better but if anyone has any pointers or resources - for me, as much as her - I'd be very grateful.

My DS struggled last year with English Lit. Apparently, there are sort of 'buzz' words to use to make your essay more interesting where she'll get more marks? We watched loads on dvd but I know that doesn't help with analysing poetry!

Sorry to be vague but I thought it might help a bit. Hopefully someone more experienced will come along soon.

Does her school use a particular acronym to help students remember the necessary components of a paragraph? We use SQUID - Statement (about the text in relation to the question) Quote (to support the statement) Unpick (look at key words in the quote and explore relevant connotations) Inference (what does the quote imply about the character/theme in question) Develop (an alternative inference/ref to context).

There are others and as students get more confident they need to move away from this formula but it helps as a starting point. If she has been taught one stick to that one but check she understands it.

As for writing informally/in a way that makes sense, reading back is crucial and I do find it a little strange that history essays are good but in English she isn't making sense. Not approaching it correctly and including what's needed is understandable, but if she is articulate in one essay-based subject she should be in all of them. Have you seen examples from both subjects?

For writing informally she can memorise a bank of transferable expressions, such as 'creates the impression', rather than 'makes me feel', and go from there. A more academic style should then develop.

I've found the concept of 'effect on the reader' is an area where pupils often trip up as the term 'effect' seems nebulous. If she thinks of it as addressing what it makes the reader think (understand, wonder, believe) or feel (empathy, sympathy, tension) that could help her make that section make sense.
Referring to context is important too - so make sure she understands the author's wider intention with the book, as well as what the book reflects about the time it was written in.
As for improving her writing style, see attached photo.

Start very ‘plonky’: PEED paragraphs -point, evidence, explain, develop.
So P. the author uses language of decay to emphasise the tragedy. E. “dagger..there rust”. E. rust, emphasises the theme of destruction, using an image familiar to the audience. D (which is where the marks start to go above a basic pass) might be about referencing other uses of similar language within the play, might be exploring alternative interpretations of, eg, rust-link to red blood? Might offer an opportunity to reference other texts (we like a bit of intertexuality!) The essay does feel bitty at first-a series of fairly self contained peed paragraphs-but as she matured she can start to link paras into broader themes, offer an overarching analysis in intro /conclusion etc.
Start simple, and PEEd paras should keep her on track.

If her structure is all over the place is she starting with an essay plan? I'm studying a psychology degree so lots and lots of essays. I always start with a plan. This is my process:

Take the title and underline any instruction words in red eg explore, discuss, critique. In green underline any specifics to refer to eg chapter of the book, theme, whatever, this makes sure you are thinking about the question and sticking to its parameters. If she doesn't understand the question or isn't sure what she's going to say in response, then now is a good time to start brainstorming. But this is more about structure than answering the question as such.

So assuming I have a vague answer in mind, then I have a look at how many words I should be writing, if there is a limit. As a rough idea, between 10 and 15% of that should be introduction and the same for conclusion. So I write out intro, para 1, para 2, para 3 etc and conclusion, on a sheet of paper with big spaces underneath. Then I note how many words I have roughly per section. For each body section I write a note of what the main points I need to cover are, what evidence I'm using to support it, and why that evidence is relevant, finally why this point is relevant to the original question (the 'so what?' point). Also how the points follow on from each other. For the intro and conclusion I note what I need to cover. Remember the intro is a roadmap of your argument and the conclusion sums up, there shouldn't be anything in those parts that isn't supported in the body of the essay. For psychology essays I also have a separate page where I keep notes of what references I need to make sure I list, but she might not need that at this stage.

From there I can fill out the notes into sentences, and that pretty much gives you a first draft. Making the plan also helps with thinking about what needs to go in the essay and what doesn't.

Sometimes I do a second plan before I start writing if its not coming together, or swap paragraphs round to make things flow better. Sometimes I scribble points on post it notes and shuffle them about too. A plan is helpful if you have to go away and come back to the work as well.

Sorry this turned out massively long. Probably should have done an essay plan!! Hope it helps though :)

Try getting her to read the essay aloud.

Literature can seem like a much more abstract than something with facts like history. What is she writing about?

Macbeth!

Thank you everyone for your helpful suggestions. I am making note of them all. Yes to getting her to read it out loud too - what a simple but effective idea.

PETER is the current essay structure they are taught to use.

@carouselfish The attached looks very useful. I will print that out for her.