Secondary Schools for ASD/ADHD DD West London

[Potnia]

DD is currently at a mainstream primary, she was diagnosed with ASD this summer. I’m hoping she can be supported in a local mainstream school, however the report suggested a specialist setting and going through the EHCP process, which takes months so won’t help now.

Educationally she’s average as she finds it hard to apply herself, she’s medicated for ADHD which helps a lot. My biggest worry is social communication and being happy with her peers.

First option would be state schools, the nearest is all girls - I’m not sure if this is a good option for an ASD child. We can afford to look at private, I’m just concerned she won’t pass any entrance exams, she’s rarely medicated at home so I see the worse side and homework is impossible.

We’re looking at schools in the boroughs of Richmond and Twickenham, Hounslow, Ealing and maybe a bit further eg Thames Christian School is possible on the train.

Or we could move and find a better school after the main year seven entry. Especially if we have an EHCP then. Potentially Surrey.

Any general advice or specific schools suggestions would be great. And DD2 is dyslexic so we’ll have the same issue in a few years again!

If you would consider a move then Alfriston School in Beaconsfield is definitely worth a look, although they do offer a few nights boarding a week if that would be something that works for you as a family. My sister considered it for my niece and was blown away by it, but she would have needed to move for it.

Egerton Rothesay in Berkhamsted is also definitely worth a look but again you would need a move.

I don't know the area so can't point at specific schools for you but a couple of more general bits of advice.

don't write off the idea of passing entrance exams. they aren't pitched to find out what your child already knows, but rather to find out their potential, and general intelligence level. your DD might do very well. prep doesn't have to be in unmedicated times. could you do exam prep by shifting your morning schedule 20 minutes earlier just 2 days a week or so and just doing 20 minutes of practice in the morning before school? you don't need intensive tutoring, just a little practice with what kinds of questions she might encounter. my ASD/ADHD suspected but not yet diagnosed child was able to pass the exams for our preferred school.

I do have an ASD diagnosis myself, with ADHD suspected but not diagnosed. I was sent to an all-girls private school and was certainly miserable there, so it warms my heart to see that you are thinking about this. However to be honest I could have been equally miserable at some kinds of mixed school. I think the ethos of the school may be more important than whether it is mixed or single sex. Some all girls schools might be very "girly" in outlook and feel like the wrong environment for your DD but others could be a really positive environment for a science-geeky-budding-engineer girl to flourish without feeling overwhelmed by the number of boys dominating these activities. equally whilst some co-ed schools might work hard to ensure that both girls and boys can flourish in all subjects, others have quite deeply ingrained sexist cultural biases and assumptions about what girls and boys are interested in. certainly while looking at senior schools for my own DC, I saw a couple of mixed-sex schools which I think could have made me even more miserable than my own single-sex school did. I would advise looking for a school that has a gender-free uniform policy ie anyone can wear the trousers if they want to. not that the uniform itself is important but a policy like this is typical of the kind of attitude you should look for. also ensure that there's a wide range of non-academic things that everyone does (textiles, cookery, woodwork, metalwork etc). if these things are "options" where there's an element of choice there can be an "expectation" that the girls will do this and boys will do that, and an atypical girl on the spectrum can feel even more at-sea and isolated.

Thanks for the pointers. Any schools are worth considering as we need to move and don’t have any reason for particular areas, a school is as good as any. But we will miss the year 7 application deadline as we are selling.

@KihoBebiluPute My instinct is for mixed. Current primary is definitely not gender free sadly, she’s on the tomboy side at home, after many years in princess dresses etc. The complexities of female friendships may start becoming an issue and having boys as friends will be good. I suspect I have some traits and found school really tough for this reason but it was mixed. How much it matters may depend on how the school manages behaviour and bullying, plus the support offered.

One of the private schools is girls but small classes and a supportive community could be a good option. I’m really not keen on specialist schools at the moment.

If the journey could work, I’d look at Ewell Castle - I’ve heard good things about it for SEN of all types, and it’s mixed.

Twickenham School has an ASD unit and though your DD may not need to be in it, it does mean that the school is well equipped educationally to support her needs. The HT and Exec HT are both ex Waldegrave and very highly regarded. The parents of an ASC child I know felt welcomed and respected there when they looked round, in complete contrast to elsewhere. I appreciate that historically the school did not have the best of reputations but I believe it has to be worth considering.

I would say to keep an open mind to all schools, state, private or specialist at this stage. My niece has numerous problems, including ASD, which means she can’t properly access learning. But she is nowhere near as bad as needing one of the special needs state schools available in her area. The problem is, and can be found all over the country, is there are only a tiny number of schools that fit that somewhere in between.

Some state schools have units attached for those who need extra help, where they go for the more academic subjects, with the children then joining the mainstream school for sports, the arts, RS, computer studies etc. This was what my sister was looking for but there isn’t one within 100 miles of where she lives.

Private schools often turn away children like my niece as they “can’t meet her needs”. Be prepared to have doors shut in your face time after time. Even alternative schools weren’t interested. Numerous assessment days and a “thanks but no thanks”. You obviously don’t have that problem with state schools or where a school is named on the EHCP (although as you acknowledge, getting that in itself is a long drawn out process).

Do you have a local co-Ed prep school that goes to 13? They will lose a lot of girls at 11 so are always looking to boost numbers (unless it’s a top prep that feeds the boarding schools). Benefits of that are there will invariably be smaller class sizes, the 11+ entrance tests will be easier, plus it buys you a couple of years to get the EHCP in place and for you to have done your homework and find the perfect place and move.

More House School in London?

waldegrave girls has a specialist unit and you would probably qualify on the basis of an EHCP.
Private schools - take a look at kingswood out towards esther and Hampton court house . We loved HCH and it is a small school . Slightly unconventional but they make a point of ensuring students do what they love whether it’s coding dancing etc. Not sure where you are based, but that’s the more reachable one without relocating going on your list of areas

Thanks for the other suggestions. We now have a dyslexia diagnosis for our youngest so another factor to consider, she's two years younger. She has social anxiety too.

I have a few schools to research but potentially will move if the right one is further away. We may try the local school for the first year. With the Covid restrictions I don't think we can make the right decision. And we won't have an EHCP as it takes three months and we don't have the final assessment report yet.

I really feel both DDs would be better off in a smaller, supportive school, this isn't an option without paying up. We can only afford one child comfortably if we move to a bigger house unless we move to a cheaper area or start earning a lot more, which is feasible within 2/3 years. Sadly the wealthy grandparent won't help, the one with probable ASD, apparently ASD is a gift.

St Catherine's Twickenham looks good, despite girls only. Maybe Radnor House. Hampton Court House looks great, I love the no uniform. I'll look at Manor House, Prior's Field and Ewell Castle. Waldegrave School has ASD and Dyslexia provision but we are too far out. None of the other state schools, even with units, look better than the two local schools on other factors.

@Potnia great news that you now have a diagnosis. I have a DD at St catherines and have lots of friends at radnor and HCH so happy to answer any questions on those schools if you need me to

@After8itsgrownuptime yes please, any insight into the school cultures and especially SEN, how supportive they are and how bullying is handled. Are there many parents who aren’t very well off? We’re very comfortable but will have to cut back, on holidays etc, unless we (sadly) inherit.

I’m hoping we can go to the local mainstream and this would be after six months to a year if it doesn’t work out. I’ve spoken to the girls school and they sound switched on to the issues and have things in place. Perhaps there will be more ASD girls than in mixed schools.

I have meetings with the school and psychiatrist next month so will quiz them too.

@Potnia In terms of wealth/demograph, there is a mix in the schools mentioned above. No one is breadline but many (us included) live in a 3 bed semi and both work full time. Holidays are once a year and we take advantage of private schools holidays and fly as soon as they break up as it’s much cheaper . There is the other end of the spectrum as well of ladies that lunch and gym, but that’s typical of the area and I’ve never come across any judgyness .
School wise - both radnor and St cats have had a change of direction recently. Previously seen as the safe option for local parents sitting 11+, they are becoming more academic and the good local private secondaries/through school that the area is missing. My DD is very happy at st cats - they have scaled back the SEN there but are still very supportive of dyslexia. I have to say I don’t know about ADHD, but my advice would be to ring the SEN and sound her out. You’ll get a much better feel and people will be more frank with you on the phone than in writing . Same with radnor - friends autistic boy didn’t get in last year but both schools tend to have in year places (certainly in the primary part) so always worth a visit and an ask.
HCH is a lovely small school but we turned it down for DD as we were concerned that class sizes were too small and knowing how much girls tend to fall out and make up, we felt that she needed a bigger cohort. I think a lot of the kids that go there are quirky so they are better geared up for an individual child’s needs . I don’t know about SEN there though - friends DD has dyslexia and dyspraxia And is enjoying it.
If the local state schools are ticking your boxes, then I would stay put and see how you get on - there is always the option of in year transfers .
Feel free to PM me if you want to

Have heard very good things about Thames Christian College for those on the spectrum. Small class sizes, a lot of support, mixed and with good academic outcomes.

@After8itsgrownuptime thanks for that. It sounds like St Catherine’s and Radnor are not worth considering. There is no way she’d get a place. Perhaps when she’s older it will be possible. She is outgoing and her teachers love her, but she will clam up if she is expected to ‘perform’.

I get the impression there are no non selective mainstream options in the private sector unless specialist SEN. It’s such a shame.

Sadly the only mixed sex School is a no go for ASD so I have two girls schools as options and nothing else. One is very close and she will have friends also attending, the SENCO seemed to understand ASD well. The other is a short bus ride and no friends likely to attend but has ASD specialists. I’m thinking the first and if it doesn’t work we try an in year admission to a school with ASD unit (when we have an EHCP) or mainstream private school with good SEN support - just being in a smaller school/class will make a big difference.

It’s heartbreaking there’s no school that’s right for her. So many parents in west and southwest London will be in the same position so I don’t understand why there’s not more provision.

I haven't any experience of it but Brentford School for Girls has an ASD unit.

My school is the ASD hub for Hounslow and was the SpLD hub as well - we have a dedicated ASD unit for student who fall under that remit and staff are well used to ASD both in mainstream and in smaller groups (which may be useful if you have not yet got an EHCP in place). PM me if you would like further details - Cranford Community College

Take a look at these:
St James girls, More House
Prior's Field (in Surrey but there's transport routes including buses from Putney)
Radnor House
Norte Dame cobham (on the A3)
Manor House girls - v small but well regarded
Broom wood Hall's new senior - NorthWood may work as a small school