How to make my ds more independent?

[Idht]

My ds is about to go into year 9, he is in all the top groups and achieves very good results. My issue is that he is not very independent... I need to check that he does his homework, I have to organize everything for him (school bag, pe kit, etc) and my biggest issue, he only studies with me. If I ask him to revise for example, he will read the topic very quickly and then says he already knows everything, so I end up reading it myself and then asking him questions! He doesn't want to do notes, or flashcards, or anything...
I am looking for your opinions on how to make ds more independent and also what works for your ds in terms of studying? How do they revise?

Thanks

My DS isn't at this stage yet ( he's 10) however I believe that if you step back then he will have no option but to step up and take responsibility for himself.
He's a high achiever and he won't want to slip behind his peers.
I'd explain that you're very interested in all he does but it's doing him no good you leading and organising things as these are vital skills he needs to learn himself.
At the worst-
A few forgotten PE kits and a lower grade in an essay - and i'm sure he'll realise what he needs to do.
Hard for you to watch but it's vital he starts now.

Spied Thank you for your reply! Yes that's my issue, I'm going to find it really hard to just step back, but maybe a lower grade in a test is what he needs!

Thank you

You don’t have to do those things. Make sure he has his timetable ready and he has to pack his bag before bed.
If he has a HW diary then make sure he uses it. Consequences if he doesn’t write work in.
He doesn’t want to do?? So he needs to find his own way. Mind maps or audio recordings?
Let him get a few detentions.
He won’t manage the next steps if he doesn’t learn to manage his time and organise himself.

You're doing him a disservice. He is in a very safe space to make mistakes and learn.
Kids like your son really struggle in college and uni if they're not allowed to make these mistakes in KS3.
Step back, let him get a couple of bad marks and detentions and it should sort him out. There will be a lot of support especially now.

@Idht

My ds is about to go into year 9, he is in all the top groups and achieves very good results. My issue is that he is not very independent... I need to check that he does his homework, I have to organize everything for him (school bag, pe kit, etc) and my biggest issue, he only studies with me. If I ask him to revise for example, he will read the topic very quickly and then says he already knows everything, so I end up reading it myself and then asking him questions! He doesn't want to do notes, or flashcards, or anything... I am looking for your opinions on how to make ds more independent and also what works for your ds in terms of studying? How do they revise?

Thanks

Stop doing what you are doing. Just encourage and facilitate him.

Talk to him about it. Say: that you want him yo be more independent and you want to take a step back. Ask him joe he'd feel about doing all the things suggested on this thread.

Yes, I agree with everyone else. Part of our role as parents is to help our dc to organise themselves and to get their homework done and make that call for themselves as to whether a higher score in a test is more valuable to them than watching that TV prog or gaming or whatever they like to do.
Generally, I'd have been expecting them to sort their own homework from Primary age.
As you've been doing it all for him for so long, you are going to have adult conversations with him about the choice he makes. Sonner rather than later, unless you are planning to follow him about throughout life.

I’d show him what you do and explain he now needs to take responsibility for these tasks.

School stuff organised the night before. Lunch made. He should be setting his own alarm and getting up and ready himself in the morning. Making his own breakfast too. My son does this and is expected to leave on time for his school bus. Just going into yr9.

Checking his own homework diary and expecting him to manage completing it alone but at least trying himself before you help if needed.

Cut those apron strings!
I think its fine to wash his games kit and put it out for him to pack. If he shows up without the right equipment he will certainly remember next time! You can say no tv/games console until X time so he can do his homework. But stop checking! If he doesn't do it presummably he will get in trouble in school. If he doesn't study for a test - he can suffer the consequences. You learn more from your failures. If you spoon feed him he will never learn to do it on his own.

Children need to learn to fail it is and important part of their development. Be that forgetting homework or not revising effectively for a test. They learn fro. Their mistakes and develop strategies that work for them.