If you have a child doing GCSEs or A levels, in hindsight, what you have done differently from Year 7 onwards?

[SayWhatNowNow]

As per title, you have a child doing GCSEs or A levels, in hindsight, what you have done differently from Year 7 onwards to help your child throughout their school life? Just wondering as I have a child starting year 7 this year. I think I new exactly what to do for primary as in helping them learn how to read and try and foster habit/love of reading from an early etc. So any advice how to help your child academically from year 7 onwards? Thanks!

• I knew, not new! Aargh

I would have spent more time teaching dd how to learn; revision cards, mind maps, organising a timetable, etc.

Also, it took me a long time to realise that sometimes it is not laziness that stops children working, but they worry about failing with school work, so they avoid it. Here talking to them, rather than at them, helps.

Also, I wish I had put more emphasis on how important sport and keeping fit was. Now, at A level, I want her to go into adult life with more involvement in sport than just watching it on TV.

However, if your dc is about to go into year 7 their first term of meeting new people in a new environment will be incredibly tiring, so give them at least a term not to worry about how they are doing and just settle in.

Yes to them keeping up sport, I have tied myself in knots organising and taxiing mine all over the place (going into y12 teen plays hockey and football, going into y10 teen is a club swimmer) but it's been worth it. Yes to the start of y7 being incredibly tiring though.

Academically mine have pushed me away and wanted to manage by themselves but I try and make suggestions around systems for revision and stuff and been prepared to help when they do ask.

I also recommend buying the appropriate CGP study guides in subjects they do need help with, our maths ones were invaluable when they needed help and I didn't know how they'd been taught to do things in school, or had forgotten completely. Make sure you always have an ample supply of printer ink, paper, stationery including set squares, protractors, compasses, we've wasted plenty of time searching for these over the years. Be ready for the cries of "the printer won't work".

It's hard to get the balance between nagging them because they don't seem to be working enough and letting them find out the hard way. Not sure I have always got that right (too much nagging). I'd say let them fail a bit but be ready to help them when they fall. I've had DD in tears in the morning because she had forgotten about a piece of homework with half an hour before she needs to leave for school but I've let her crack on with it while I round up her shoes, blazer, hairbrush, hairbands, pe kit for her and I think she has learned from the experience.

If you'd asked me this last year, I would have said the main things were making sure they had space and time to study, the equipment they needed, and that you supported them with skills like organisation and revision (if they needed it).

By and large there is not a lot that you, as a parent can do - the DC really do have to do it for themselves (exception of children with SEN who genuinely need specific extra support).

Following this year, I'd say you need to drum into them that they need to tackle every piece of work as if it was the most important thing they'd ever done. So they literally need to put 100% of effort into everything. The drumming might take a while though :)

I wouldn’t change anything but try to get to a place where you are not overly involved and they take responsibility for studying and achieving best results for them.

Minimal school last term tested this, but in general yr10 will do his h/w, study for tests without more than a have you done your hw

Thank you very much! This is all useful information.

I would have backed off sooner rather than later with regard to organisational stuff- I ended up supporting DS for too long to remember stuff/do homework to deadlines with the result that he ended up being too reliant on me and didn't take responsibility early enough

That sounds harsh- what I should say is I continued to make packed lunches and wash PE kit etc but it shouldn't be my responsibility to remember to take said lunch and PE kit nor to think before food tech day what ingredients he might need after the first few weeks?months? Nor should I need to nag about homework- if it's not done you face the consequences at school and learn a valuable lesson.

Hindsight is a marvellous thing

Encourage some work every evening, regardless of if homework is set. Not hours and hours, but a quick read over notes, or the CGP page in books, or a video or podcast. Sets the studying habit up and really helps retention of information.

I wish I had paid less attention to school-generated target grades and advised my children to do the same. One DC performed v.well in his KS2 SATs, his secondary school targets were unrealistically high, and not being able to achieve them had a negative impact on his mental health.

On a more positive note, I wish I had started working on their organisation skills earlier, getting into the habit of emptying their bags of loose bits of paper and filing them or sticking them in as they went along. Not good to get half way through Y13 and realise that they have not been filing anything as they went along.

I made it clear doing a sport was not optional. They could choose what they wanted to do, but they had to join a club if some sort for physical activity outside of school. It's been fabulous for having friends outside of their school. Taxiing them about for an activity - whilst time consuming - has given me a weekly opportunity to connect with them individually and keep communication going.

Get the homework habit going from day 1. My dc2 I made study downstairs as she's less motivated in that way. Dc1 I could leave them to it. It was not apparent which way inclined they were until some months in, so take an interest in their homework from day 1. If the school don't supply text books, buy some of the key stage 3 CGP type books for more complex subjects to support homework and revision.

They can flourish at different stages over key stage 3 so don't let them write themselves off as not good at a subject. This can change or vary depending on the topic. Encourage them to take responsibility for their own learning by them talking to their teachers when they need to, take advantage of subject clinics etc...

Yes, sport-related travel is a great opportunity for one to one, no pressure chat. Or singing along to your favourite musicals together without annoying the other members of the family . I've enjoyed the connection with other families outside our own school and year groups too.

A language app the second they know which language they are doing and do it every week day. Either for 5 minutes or the equivalent module.

Get into the habit of no tech/fun stuff until a particular time. Before that it is homework or something remotely educational/reading.

Help them to organise their books so there is a system in place for remembering which books on what day. Copy their timetable and have it in several places.

Let them take responsibility for themselves, if they are late they need to learn the consequences, if they forget a book or PE kit, again it is on them.

I'd go against the "no tech till they've done their work" thing. Mine definitely need downtime to decompress after school and both worked far better after dinner and a decent break. Listen to them on this.

My friend gave me a great piece of advice. Once hit year 7 make it clear its their responsibility to remember all kit they need and when home work is due. But also that if they are struggling you are there. Did this with both of mine and they are alot more self sufficient than some of their friends.
Also always keep spare ink and paper handy for when they need homework printing off late at night!

Kept them reading

Yep I'd agree with @EasilyDelighted on the tech thing. Especially if you have a child with any kind of SN.

My DS has ASD/ADD and could never, ever, in five years of secondary school, settle to study straight after school. Always had to decompress first and start homework after tea, and best way to do that, for him, was screen time. He kept his work standards high though (glowing parents evening reports, achieved all 7-9 at GCSE) so this approach clearly worked for him.

I would say do a bit of trial and error and listen to your child - don't set draconian rules for the sake of it - obviously if it becomes obvious that a particular approach is not working (grades / school feedback poor etc) then change, but screen time is not always a bad thing.

I would second the making sure they do at least one club or sport - makes a massive difference to self esteem.

Be prepared to do a fair bit of micro management during the early part of Y7, especially if DC is young in the year or has SN (doubly whammy here, both apply for DS1) but work towards gradual independence towards the latter part of Y7/early Y8. Long term, they will probably be happier and more confident with a bit of early support. We found that helping DS keep books and papers organised using magazine files was really helpful and he still does this now.

Thanks again! This is good to know. I am a bit worried about the transition to secondary so just want to make sure I do my best in supporting my dd.
@ BluePaintSample do you have any recommendations for language apps?

Good point about the SEN thing @FlyingPandas, my eldest has ASD and my younger has dyslexia, so those might be contributing to their need to decompress after school. Be flexible and see what works for your family.

Not a lot different.
My children are at a non selective private school that does well in exams.
I have a son who took them last year. Despite encouragement, support, study aids, a study schedule we worked out together, school clinics and me printing a trees worth of past papers, he scored very poorly. I think he thought he could charm his way through them! (If he'd 'taken' them this year he would have passed them all bar German, annoyingly).
My daughter takes them next year. She studies hard, is on top of all her work, very organised and should do well.
What more could I have done for my son? He was taking the tests, not me. He saw how poorly he did in his mocks. Other than chaining him to his desk and sitting there watching (which I don't think would have improved his results, and would have made us hate each other) I don't think there was anything that would have led to different outcome. It is said people learn more from there failures than successes.
He is doing very well at college, got his fitness training qualification and is starting his personal trainer one soon. He has a job and a girlfriend. He is very fit and healthy. He is generally happy. He just turned 17 and has decided to get a couple more GCSEs to broaden his opportunities. It was a disappointment, but very far from a disaster.

What a positive take on things Pipandmum!

Great thread! Thank you to everyone who has contributed!

@Faircastle

This is the situation ds is in. Its horrible that his targets seem so unattainable in some subjects, which even his teachers agree. They're still everywhere though

Encourage some work every evening, regardless of if homework is set. Not hours and hours, but a quick read over notes, or the CGP page in books, or a video or podcast. Sets the studying habit up and really helps retention of information.

This is so true. Help them to install the expectation that they will work for an hour each evening whether or not they have work set. We tried to help by making sure that time was not disturbed by younger siblings - academic study was valued and respected.

I made it clear doing a sport was not optional. They could choose what they wanted to do, but they had to join a club if some sort for physical activity outside of school. It's been fabulous for having friends outside of their school. Taxiing them about for an activity - whilst time consuming - has given me a weekly opportunity to connect with them individually and keep communication going.

This is also a really good point. Do everything you can to ensure that they are not just relying on one set of friends - the more different groups, the better.

Thank you so much for starting this thread OP - it's very helpful for those of us in the same situation! I'm sure I'm more nervous than DS about the transition but trying not to project too much!