This is all so complicated-uniform

[BadgerBadgerMushroom]

DSS starting secondary on the 4th September and all this uniform buying is so stressful compared to primary I swear 😂 He's quite young for his age and there are so many factors to consider...right shoes? right bag? Long sleeve or short sleeve shirts? Shirts that fit or shirts to grow into? Does he need a PE bag or can he just shove it at the bottom of his school bag? He's the only one from his new school and he just wants to fit in bless him...any advice to make things easier for him?

Assuming you have no specific guidance from school I'd suggest the following

• plain black slip on or lace up shoes of any type are fine. As long as they don't obviously stick out, boys don't care that much
• bags seem to vary by area. Does he know an older at the school he can ask? If not, a sports branded bag (nike/Adidas) will probably be safe. or if his primary school bag is not too babyish he could use if for a week or 2 until he sees what everyone has
• long or short sleeves is personal preference (assuming school does not specify. My DS prefers short sleeves because he hates buttons round his wrists and tends to get hot. Your may be different
• Definitely shirts with a bit of growing room but boys school shirts tend not to be that fitted anyway.
• I'd suggest a PE bag is preferable but some do just shove it at the bottom of their bag.

Year 7 will be full of lots of children trying to fit in; I'm sure your DS will be just fine!

Dd like short sleeves as they are less restrictive, I like them as they offer more growing room.

If you're on facebook, see if there is a parents group for the school. For the last month or so, the parents in my DD's school group has been fielding these types of questions.

Personally, I do shirts to grow into a bit, blazers with slightly more growing room, and at least for this first term & I'd double check the school rules for anything else. Some schools have brought in 'no visible brands' to try to deal with bullying issues.

My son is also quite small. I have bought uniform that fits him properly now, as he would look even smaller swamped in a massive blazer. I got him slim fit shirts as they look smarter on a small frame than regular fit ones. Our school does not have a pe bag.

I'd definitely get him a pe bag. Putting the kit in his bag on a morning may seem fine when its clean and neatly folded at the bottom, but not so much when it's been hurriedly shoved on top, and he's fishing through smelly socks for his books for the rest of the day. Plus he'll have enough to carry between lessons as it is, he'll want to leave his kit in a locker, and get it at the break/lunch before.

Check for a Facebook group. At my DD's school, generally, it's any bag for PE kit (some take a drawstring bag, others just use a plastic bag). Shoes are pictured on the website for examples of what is permissible.

Mine all has ss shirts on the basis that they wore a blazer as well, so I would go for that at first. Shirts that fit sounds good, they are not so expensive surely.

Look on school website for guidance on shoes. If no guidance, plain lace ups are fine, Clarks or any shop that fits.

Do you know anyone with kids further up the school for bag advice? Failing that a black Nike bag is always a good choice (and will wear well IME)

No PE bag, or maybe a JD Sports shop bag (the drawstring kind) if you must.

Also check what rules they have re PE kit this term - our schools are asking kids to wear PE kit to school on their PE day, so no bag needed.

Many schools don't have lockers.

Ah I see others suggest a PE bag. I guess it depends. tbh on PE days he will wear his kit all day anyway, won't he, so a bag is not needed!

I was speaking from a viewpoint of former form teacher too, all mine used to use at very most a plastic bag of the sports shop type.

haha X post!

Another yr 7 mum here!

Agree to look for a Facebook group, ours has been invaluable especially as this is a new school to us ( our eldest went to a different one)

Our only restrictions are a black/navy coat and non trainer like black shoes. DS has chosen a grey Nike backpack

Thank you all so much everyone that's really helped! Hopefully getting the last few bits will be easier now. School is quite relaxed which helps but also makes it harder iyswim 😂 last one promise...what do kids tend to wear for PE trainers this days?

I'd forgotten about the 'wear your PE kit to school' rule that's come in this year. Sorry.

PE trainers - see what the school website says, but at our (very strict about everything else) school, although they prefer black, they can wear any colour.

Shirts, I always go for short sleeves, the cuffs go grotty really quickly else.

PE trainers - can't go wrong with Nike or Adidas, go for something plain and low key like black or grey I would. Ds2 has these Nike trainers

DS is going into year 10 with the bag he started year 5 with. There wasn't much choice with shoes, black leather, no trainer style or boots. He has cheap trainers, Karrimor Duma from Sports Direct, he's never cared about brands.

I bought size 12 trousers and shirts which weren't too big, an 11 would have been a perfect fit, all his uniform fit for three years as he's only hit a growth spurt at 14 though!

@BadgerBadgerMushroom

Thank you all so much everyone that's really helped! Hopefully getting the last few bits will be easier now. School is quite relaxed which helps but also makes it harder iyswim 😂 last one promise...what do kids tend to wear for PE trainers this days?

until their feet stop growing: the cheapest white trainers from sports direct :) it was 9 quid last sept.

I can now appreciate our school's extremely strict dress code. :)

I don’t know what to suggest OP. My DD starts next week too. Someone kindly set up a FB page where we could ask questions which at the time seemed lovely. A few weeks in I noticed that certain mums had lots of advice. ‘Oh if you’re daughter doesn’t have a black handbag and uses a backpack they’ll be classed as nerds’. The school made the uniform list fairly clear but a few things were open to interpretation and parents asked for advice and literally the same parents gave answers like ‘oh my child is in Yr 11 and she says they just don’t do that’. I was a bit surprised that a fully grown adult agreed that other children would be cast out and gave advice to merely fit in or that we should all follow her Year 11s advice not to bother with mandatory things when we heard contradictory advice. I’d look at what is comfortable for him and I know that isn’t easy because they all want to fit in. Be himself, that’s all I can tell my DD and not to change for other people.

Just to say the "wear your PE kit all day"rule is clearly not universal - my DC's school are expecting them to change (they have guidelines about using the changing rooms).

@eeyore88 You are 100% right. I've looked for one of those groups and there doesn't seem to be one for DSS school. What a shame that people on your group are so judgemental already. Like a PP said boys don't seem to care. I do think it's harder for girls.

@redskyatnight Yes we have had guidance this morning saying they will still change at school.

@BadgerBadgerMushroom have a look at the school website for their uniform policy. Have a look at the photos of the students they have on the school website as that will show you how they're wearing the uniform. Hopefully the school have sent a year 7 pack to you outlining some of their uniform guidelines too. If not, my suggestion would be:

• buy a separate PE bag (otherwise the PE kit will get thrown on top of the books and equipment which will make it stressful for getting bits out for the next lesson). Make sure his name is discretely on the inside of the bag as year 7s have a tendency to forget them in other lessons. Also, given the current restrictions he might have to go in in his kit on PE days as some schools aren't using the changing rooms. Even if that's the case a PE bag will be needed in the future. A drawstring bag will be fine.
• buy short sleeved shirts that fit and invest in a jumper for the winter months - typically classrooms get very steamy and humid so having layers is more helpful
• a blazer that is slightly bigger than he is as it can be the more expensive item to buy and he will grow quickly (in my school the students can take them off in lessons, it's just for commuting and then walking around the school so if it's a little long in the arms it's not a problem in lessons)
• kicker type shoes are often the go-to style. They don't have to be that brand (it depends what you want to spend) but it's a good guide to go by. Something with a proper sole and laces.
• PE trainers that are fairly simple in colour, lace up and comfortable
• given how large secondary schools are there are so many types of bags chosen by the students that you can't really choose the 'wrong' one. He will be carrying lots of books so will need a sturdy backpack with straps that can be adjusted. Some smaller pockets are good for items like tissues and, at the moment, hand sanitiser.
• a reusable water bottle that can go in the dishwasher is good too

Thanks all great tips. We got the last bits sorted today! Hurrah!