Think I made the wrong secondary choice

[drivingmisspotty]

My DD starts year 7 in September, state comprehensive. I found it difficult to choose a school but narrowed it down to two nearby. Both outstanding.

School A was lively and fun on the open day. This is the one DD wanted to put first choice. School B was a bit more serious on the open day. They have a reputation for being strict but also amazing results, sought after locally and I felt that maybe a more disciplined school might be better for my quiet DD. I was afraid she would be lost in the more lively school and that in all my adult wisdom I knew better than her. I put school B first on the form, not really expecting to get it with the tight catchment but we did.

Now it is August and I can’t stop thinking about school B and how DD came out with a smile on her face. I think with all the home learning as well I have seen how resilient she is and how she grabs every opportunity and maybe she would be better in the lively school. I’m sorry this sounds churlish - I know I should be happy we got my first choice and I really feel for anyone on waiting lists hoping to move up.

I contacted the local authority and they say I can request to change the order of my preferences and then go on wait list for school B but they will only do it ‘with good reason’

Has anyone done this and do you know what constitutes a good reason? I assume having an indecisive mother who got scared on application day doesn’t cut it. And has anyone done this? Would it be a mistake now to change? DD is geared up for school A - has uniform, practiced journey, has done the little homework tasks they gave for the Summer, is excited.

Nishky it is great that it worked for your dd, and clearly you had additional information about the school, just as drivingmisspotty has about the school she turned down. It sounds as if it was both you and she deciding and it really worked for her. Having heard from friends at other schools my dd is even more pleased she is where she is.

The point I was making was that of the two comparable schools near us, the fun/lively one you can easily transfer into if it doesn't work because after a few terms the gloss wears off and issues aren't addressed so people leave / home ed. The strict/good results one is really hard to transfer into at a later point because it is well managed and students are happy, you can wait on the list for years with little chance of a place. OP probably knows best what the situation is where she is though and whether the waiting list movement is a consideration.

It’s good to bear in mind as you have pointed out TW and Nishky that there is the option of changing if things don’t work out. I’m not sure really what the waiting list is like for either school after Year 7. Pretty much all of her friends are going to a third school which I am quite confident we could get into later so I do have that in the back of my mind if socially it is too difficult. Friendships will have moved on by then of course.

@Michaelahpurple I think that is spot on with the summer holiday spiralling! Too much time to think, too much stress in general this year... Fingers crossed we won’t look back once she starts!

It sounds as if both schools are excellent but your gut feeling told you that School B was the right one for your DD and I think that's important. DD's school also says helping on open day is compulsory, but I know of a few DCs who didn't help for whatever reason! Maybe some of the rules which seem so stringent may not be quite so vigorously enforced in reality. But I think the key thing is that your DD is prepared and excited about the school, so I wouldn't try and change things, which could make her v unsettled, at this stage. Good luck to her!

Thank you @LaPoesieEstDansLaRue you are right I need to focus on her excitement now and stop ruminating!

I could have written your post, OP. I have spent a good bit of July having exactly this wobble. I just keep reminding myself of the reasons why we made the decision we did, and that I had to make it for DS and that might be different to decisions made by his classmates parents.

I was interested to see the comments up thread about strict going along with calm classes and low tolerance for bullying, as these are pretty much why we made the decision we did for DS.

Also agree about going along on a normal school day. "Fun" school was really not nice on the daytime visit.

@SpeedofaSloth while I’m kind of glad I am not alone sorry to hear you have been having a wobble too! Thanks for your advice.