Advice on Senior School Admissions

[shaddupayouface]

Hi
My DS is currently in Y5 at a prep school in Surrey. We have registered with 2 senior schools. Radnor House in Sevenoaks and Reigate Grammar School. I just wondered if there are any current parents out there who could share their experience with the whole admission process, e.g., how many schools did you register with, how was the whole interview and test process - did your DS find it daunting? What happened - were you offered numerous places or none at all. What do you do if you don't get any offers?

Just to add the my son is incredibly anxious (suffers with OCD) and finding the right school for him is going to be a challenge. He wants to go where his friends go but we realise that may not be realistic. He is academically very able but has trouble with self esteem and hates anything that involves performing, ie., drama, music and any sport. He is awkward in social situations and I'm not sure how well he would come across in an interview. Obviously I would make the school aware of his lack of confidence before the interview but I seriously worry that come September next year, we will be struggling to find him a place that is suitable for his needs.

Sorry for the long meandering post. Basically I just wanted to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation and what their experience was.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this.

Xxxxx

Your prep should be advising you on how many schools to apply to, which ones would suit etc

Does your prep go to y8? RGS is very academically pressured and expects much of its pupils but has supported a few dc I know who have struggled with stress. Where do you live, these are quite far apart. I would have thought the easier journey might be beneficial if he is anxious. Agree the prep smt should be advising you better.

We only applied to one senior (although there is a choice of a few private schools in our area). We knew we were going to be happy that particular school after we had viewed it and chatted to the head. Plus the fees were more manageable there for us. There is no way our prep would have prepared or or helped at all, as they have their own senior school, and their prep doesn’t really finish until end of year 8. The senior school we’ve chosen however, begins at year 7.
Ds sat the entrance test but there was no pressure and we definitely got the impression it was more about gauging where he’s at than having to “pass”.
He is supposed to start in September - but of course no one knows what will be happening then.

Also are you close enough to apply to any of the Kent or surrey grammars? The admissions process is less stressful mostly we found and no interviews. You have to register for those this term.

We applied for state and independent. We are more SE London but I have friend with children at Radnor. Would it be academic enough for him?

My DS is at RGS and can be anxious - hates sport and performing etc. They’ve been great with him and have amazing pastoral care. He still doesn’t like sport - and they have a low pressure, no competitive sport level he’s happily getting exercise at - but has actually started to enjoy drama. If he’s academically above average, I’d recommend it. We haven’t seen any stress or pressure.

I would hope your prep would help with the interview, but I’m sure all schools are used to seeing all kinds of children and know how to get the best out of them?

Thank you for your replies. We did get advice from his current prep but as we live in Kent (Edenbridge) and his prep is in Surrey, they tend to concentrate on senior schools in Surrey and East Sussex. They recommended Caterham or RGS. We mentioned Radnor and, although the head was a bit surprised we’d considered it, once we explained our worry about him being in a pressurised environment and thought the size (c350 pupils) might be an easier transition for him; it’s also only half an hour away from home whereas RGS would be at least a 40 min journey. His current prep does go up to Y8 and although we have been very happy in general with his time there, it is very sporty (over 6 hours of games each week) so he doesn’t want to stay after Y6. His prep suggested he would pass the entrance tests easily, he scored highly in the assessments they carried out, but we would like him to be somewhere with good pastoral care due to his anxiety and would hope that his work ethic will ensure he does well wherever he goes. He can be lazy if not pushed so it’s finding the right balance. We loved RGS and our only reservation was the distance from home. We also liked Radnor although we are not sure how academic it would be. A friend works there and says they are getting better results at A Level as the school is developing after losing a lot of pupils when it changed hands. We did think about entering him for the 11+ just as an extra option if all else fails but our preference would be co-ed. Such a difficult decision at the best of times but with his anxiety it’s going to be hard whatever happens.

We were very impressed with the head at RGS and the lady in charge of pastoral care was also very reassuring and outlined all the support on offer. We particularly liked the fact that the head said that he has usually decided roughly who he will offer a place to before the entrance exam just from the reference and interview and he doesn’t just want top exam performers.

Most RGS pupils are very local to school. I would not consider it worth the longer trip and he would not travel independently. What about Lingfield or even Worth? Caterham runs a bus from Edenbridge but it does take over 40 minutes.

I can't help at all with the senior schools - but am wondering, unhelpfully, why you enrolled him at a prep that doesn't feed into the senior schools you're interested in. Other than basic education, expert guidance on the questions in your OP is the major thing you're paying the prep for. Presumably you didn't realise at the time that this prep wouldn't exactly meets your needs as regards transition to senior school?

And do you not talk to the other parents? So much knowledge on the admission process and issues can be gained from the experiences of other families at the same school who've been through it with older children.

I guess what I'm saying is that while MN is obviously helpful you do sound a little isolated from the flow of information and opinion that should be supporting you - and that should come from your own prep.

We moved him to the prep at the start of Y4 due to his previous state primary going downhill after disastrous year with a new head. At that point in time we couldn't get him a place at any local state primary so our only option was to go private. It was always our intention to go the Kent Test route, as his older sister did, but once he moved to the prep school we noticed a huge increase in his anxiety. It took him ages to settle but he now has a lovely group of friends. He has been diagnosed with suspected PDA (pathological demand avoidance) and he is very reluctant to do anything he connects with school at home, so homework has been a real challenge. I can't help but feel that his prep don't really know him that well maybe that's because he has only been there for just over a year and he is very quiet. I should probably make another appointment to see the head of transition. Anyway, thanks for all your replies it's given me some things to consider for the meeting.

It may also be worth meeting with the SENCO at your prep to see what schools they recommend

We have spoken to the SENCO. She thought Caterham would be a good fit as it's academically challenging but has an excellent SENCO that she knows personally. The problem we have with our DS is that he doesn't present as a child who is having problems at school. He will bottle all his feelings up and then just explode with all his emotions the minute he gets into the car. Whenever I talk to the school they are amazed to hear this side of my DS's character and say that although he is a bit unsure of himself and very quiet in class they think he's doing well.