Is it too much to let a child travel 50 minutes to school?

[mehesdfds753]

May I ask this question?

We are looking for a new house. The purpose is preparing for my oldest son's potential secondary school next year.

If things go according to our plan, the child is expected to study at an independent school at Year 7.

However, due to the housing budget, it is most likely my child will need to use public transport to go to school. It looks like he will spend at least 45-50 minutes to travel from home to school.

Subject to the actual location, he may need to use the rail station and then use the bus to go to school.

And we know that in real life, many children will simply walk to their secondary school.

So is it too much and cruel to ask my child to travel that far?

My sincere thanks,

I’d also think about if they missed the bus and what impact it would have on his arrival time. Also how early would they have to leave for school in the morning. In winter months when it’s still dark and cold it’s not very nice an 11 year old walking off in to the dark. Same applies for if they miss the bus coming back.

I used to get stuck in football traffic all the time somy one hour journey could easily turn in to two hours and I was shattered, cold and not liking the dark.

Tbh thinking about it can’t believe my parents thought it was ok to do it

Is it really 50 mins at rush hour? Are there any connections that could take longer?

What time will your child need ot be in school compared tot he bus times?

What will they have to carry to school? School bag obviously but maybe an art folder, PE kit, musical instrument.

In my day that list would aldo include a cookery basket and drama kit.

Do you have other children and will they attend the same school?

For a number of reasoins when I started secondary three other chilkdren were living in the house and 3 adults. Everyone els got homw from school at lease 1/2 an hour before me.

It meant that I'd sometimes get home and be told we were having a take away and they had decided it shuold be Chinese (or pizza, or whatever) and they had ordered for me.

Such a little thing but made me feel I had no voice.

Then I'd be starting homework after the others had finished and were pl,aying / watching TV etc.

I was known to occasionally geb my dad's car keys because the only place there was any peace was in the car on the drive.

DH travelled for over an hour to his independent school, I walked to my bog standard comp as did DS. We all ended up with decent A levels. DH says his childhood was quite lonely as none of his school friends lived locally. DS had three friends that lived within two roads of our house and a great time was had by all going round to each other’s houses.

Honestly it’s a mixture of raw material, parental input and schooling. The school my DS went to had on its other side to us an enormous rough estate, most MC parents bussed their dc to the next comp in the next suburb. Our friends were rather shocked we didn’t. It was the best decision we ever made. MIL could never understand why we didn’t pay for private schooling when we could afford it but we knew our DS would be fine. I get people want the best for their dc but I think two hours a day commuting is crap for dc, that’s the kind of stuff that awaits them when they are bogged down with a mortgage and bills of their own.

I was wondering the same as @GreyishDays , what time will he need to leave in the morning? My ds goes to a school that I can drive to in less than 10 minutes, but he has to leave home at 8.10, so 40 mins before school starts, and that's on a school bus rather than a public one with connections. I really wouldn't want him to spend longer than he does getting to school as he is very tired as it is.

Kit is a consideration. My prep school age DS sometimes goes into school with school bag, kit bag, swimming bag, cricket bat bag and boarding gear. I literally load him up like a little pack horse- and he doesn't even play a musical instrument. No way could he manage it all swapping between busses and trains.

I think it's important to be scrupulously honest about the journey time. If it's maximum 50 minutes and pretty reliable, then that's the outside of acceptable.

My kids, for example, use a train that takes 12 minutes and it's a 5 minute + 8 minute walk either end. But I can't say it's a 25 minute journey - there's the waiting on the platform, trains cancelled etc. I'd call it more like a 40 minute door-to-door journey (although it often does take less than half an hour). I think sometimes we can have a tendency to be optimistic about journey times and take the best case scenario.

Frequency makes a big difference too. There were only two buses an hour for my journey to school so I had to get there early and at a specific time. In rush hour, the trains go every 5 minutes for my kids so they can turn up more randomly.

Agree with PP that parents often say children 'love' their journey but I know I hated mine. I'd much prefer that my children didn't travel but it's not a bad journey they do.

You also need to think about how easy it is to travel home if he wants to stay for an after school club - does that mean he hits rush hours traffic, for example?

What is your plan for managing sports fixtures, concerts, school plays, parents' evenings. You mention "oldest" son - so presumably you have other child/ren to consider.

The friendship thing is a big deal. My DC spend basically all their weekends and holidays (when we're not in lockdown) making ad-hoc plans with friends which generally don't need a parent to facilitate. My niece goes to a school that is 40 minutes drive from her house, most of her friends live in a different direction, and she doesn't get to see much of them during the school holidays.

I think it is doable and I think it's a bit shit.

I'd hate it. My usual commute us about an hour. On a bad day it's way more - tiring and a waste of time.

Does the child have good energy reserves? Lots of extra curriculars? Need a lot of downtime? Travelling with friends? Risk of traveling with bullies? Some would manage fine, for others it would be a strain. Personally I hate commuting and it's partly due to hating catching the bus to school when younger. What's the back up plan if it's too much?

Doable, not great.

Better if there's a group of them on the same route because the travel can be social.

Rubbish if your child ends up being 'that' kid who comes from miles away from everyone else and is always late, tired and fed up before school has even started.

I’d say fine for the right school. Dd1 is in Y7 - has gone from a 10 minute walk to primary to a 50 minute (ish) tube journey with one change. Only yesterday she told me she’s missing her commute - she meets friends, does urgent homework, plays games on her phone and generally gets a bit of independence and space.

She does have to carry swim kit one day, and instrument another. But she has a locker at school, and instrument storage as necessary, so she can leave books, lacrosses stick etc there, and only bring home what she needs for that evening.

Only yesterday she told me she’s missing her commute

I would suggest that she's missing meeting friends and having a bit of independence and space, rather than the commute per se!

Two hours a day travelling is ten hours a week. That’s a lot.

Imagine how much homework or tutored lessons your dc could have had in that time instead.

Is the school really worth it?

Poor DC soaking wet sitting all day in wet clothes waiting for connections that don’t turn up, being late.

Is there any chance if a carpool with some other kids or something that could lessen the journey, even down to just a bus instead of a bus and train?

Redsky- yes, though she is also a train geek so it’s that as well!

Way too long in my opinion. We had this choice for DS - 40/45 min commute via school bus or 10 minute walk to school. He chose the latter and never regretted it.

His friends who chose the further away school suffered with all the following:

• early morning/ late back - often in darkness in winter
• friends geographically spread out, so in holidays nobody to meet/see without travelling
• problems for parents - school meetings/ sport matches/ concerts/ picking up if late (dentist etc) or if ill at school. There are a surprising number of occasions you need to go to the school and if it is a 2 hour round trip that will fast become a pain!

Interestingly, a large number of my son's friends moved to the the more local school for Sixth Form (but then of course missed their old friends!)

Not really. I went to a private school 45 mins away and my friends were from a good 1hr away.

The day to day commute to school was ok. But the meeting up with friends at the weekends and holidays were a PTA and the social aspect. Or if you wanted to go an after school club. Especially in later years where if you don't get home till 6 then homework. It was ok because everyone was in the same boat and it was accepted . Also, you tended to gravitate towards people who lived near you because we caught the same bus . Because when you have a 1hr 30 bus journey with them everyday you get to know them very well.

I think it depends where you are. Lots of children who live very rurally are a 40-50 minutes from secondary school. Often though they are bussed in by the local authority school transport system. I wouldn’t be massively keen on public transport tbh

I would hate my children to have to spend all that time travelling.

Especially if covid is with us for the next year or so minimum.

Just catching up on this thread and remembered that at my son's school (private so no school buses) there were children who used to commute miles every day by public transport. One came from 35 miles away and the journey took about an hour and a half. Another from 60 miles away but the route was a bit more direct so didn't take as long. My walk to secondary school was 45 mins each way.

@AldiAiseleofCrap DD1 and many of her friends walk to school - they're in Y10.

She actually chose her school over the grammar she'd got a place at because of the shorter journey meaning she'd have more time to do hobbies etc. I get that not everyone has a school close enough to walk to but there's a lot to be said for having local friends and not being dependent upon forms of transport that are vulnerable to strikes, signal failure or other malfunctions.

I wouldn’t ask my child to do it at the best of times. I’m not going to go back on public transport any time soon and I won’t ask my child to do it either.

As an adult I’d chose to work somewhere closer even if it meant a bit less pay, slightly duller job.

I’d send my child to a school they could walk to rather than a better school further away. However I have that luxury. The school might not be the best but it exists. Others don’t have an accessible school.

There is the normal but we are now in the new normal. 50 minutes by public transport is too much for me.

@SE13Mummy the nearest high school to be dd is 2.7 miles away and in and out of special measures. Where I live there are a handful of very good schools dd’s is outstanding and the rest get results of circa 40% decent GCSE grades.
I would love her to be able to walk to school but it’s not an option. She enjoys getting the bus though and socialising with her friends.

DH used to get two buses two and from school, it would take about an hour each way, sometimes more depending on the traffic. He hated it and found it very tiring and reduced his leisure time in the evenings as he didn't get home til later and then had to go to bed early as he had to get up extra early. I think this is pretty common length of travel but it's certainly not a pleasant one. Many adults commute for that long to and from work but how many of them enjoy it? We are really looking to make housing choices where our children do not need to travel that long for school.